Hack This Doccubus Scene: A Collection of One-Shots
by teamlauren4eva
Summary: Doccubus scene re-writes. A series of unrelated short stories of varying scope. Each story will have it's own summary and rating. Please read and review! :-)
1. Investment

...

**Hack This Doccubus Scene: A Collection of One-Shots**

**Author's Note:** This is a collection of short stories that start off as re-writes of certain doccubus scenes. Some will be written to correct doccubus 'mistakes' and some will be a variation on a scene just for the fun of it. Some will be very short, and others may be longer and go beyond the show scene it starts off in. They won't be in any particular order and they will be unrelated to each other unless otherwise noted. It should be assumed that every backstory is 100% canon leading up to the scene.

Since these start out as actual show scenes, most of these will be rated T at maximum. If I write one that is rated M I'll put a warning on the individual story. Material from the actual TV scene is in bold italics. This is sort of a writing exercise but also done for my own entertainment and I hope you like it too. :-)

* * *

><p><strong>Investment<strong>

**Setup: **Season 1, Episode 4, Faetal Attraction. Lauren runs into Kenzi and Bo at the Dal and briefly flirts with Bo.

**_"__You know, as your doctor, I should recommend against excessive intoxication." Lauren said to Bo with a sly smile, while holding up an empty shot glass._**

**_"__Who's drunk?" Bo countered flirtatiously. _**

**_"__Well, we don't know the effects of cocktails on your…abilities." Lauren grinned and held Bo's gaze as she carefully pronounced each word._**

**_"__Well, I am not a guy, so I can promise you –" she poked a finger at Lauren's chest, then suggestively stroked a lock of blond hair that framed Lauren's face. "– booze does not affect my ability to perform."_**

**_Lauren looked at the floor and giggled self-consciously, then looked up at Bo again. "Well I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of a drunken succubus booty call, so…take it easy."_**

**_"__No promises." Bo smirked and turned back to face the bar and took another sip of her shot. _**

**_Lauren walked around to the other side of Kenzi and leaned in to say conspiratorially, "Keep an eye on her." With a self-satisfied grin, Lauren walked away as Kenzi's and Bo's eyes followed after her._**

**_"__Ok, I don't know if it's from the Buckthorn hallucinations, but that was some serious sparkage. I think she likes you!" declared Kenzi, proud of her keen skills of observation._**

Bo groaned and leaned over to bury her face in her forearms that were resting on the bar. "Ugh! That's the problem!"

"So she's been too pushy and flirty and you're not really in to her?"

Bo raised her head slightly and rested her chin on her wrists. "No, it's the opposite, really." Bo sighed wistfully. "I do like her. A _lot_. And that's really new for me. God Kenz, she's so beautiful and adorable, with just the right amount of cute dorkiness. But it's also doomed." She buried her face again in defeat.

"New? But I thought you dated women before?"

Bo bolted upright. "Kenzi – I don't _date_! All I've ever done is fuck and kill. The killing was horrific enough, but I didn't _dare_ get attached before I had sex with them! I just could never go there. But now 'there' won't leave me alone. Dyson can be a frustrating, self-serving ass, but he's a reliable feed and I kinda like him – but he doesn't give me the heart flutters and complicated feelings that Lauren does!"

"Why complicated?"

"Uh, Hello? Did you miss the 'doomed' part? She's human. I get close, I sleep with her, she dies. I'm a strict Faegetarian now."

"Duh, I know she's human. That's not what I meant. I thought the doc was giving you injections to help you be able to stop a feed before you take too much. You might not be there yet, but you will eventually. So for now why don't you get your flirt on and go on a few of dates."

Bo swiveled her barstool to directly face her friend. "I have no idea if I'll ever get enough control to _kiss_ humans, let alone have sex with them. And I don't dare try to practice. I can't risk people's lives like that. Not anymore. So why get emotionally invested in a relationship that can't go anywhere?"

Kenzi chuckled and smirked knowingly at her friend. "I hate to break it to you BoBo, but if this is upsetting you this much, then you're already emotionally invested whether you like it or not."

Bo stared blankly at her BFF for a few moments, then swiveled back toward the bar and grabbed her half-full shot. "Shit." She knocked back the remaining Buckthorn and then turned to face Kenzi again. "And since when are you Team Lauren? What happened to 'frigid as a speculum?'"

"Hey, we were playing the classic 'drunkenly-bitch-about-everything' game of bestie solidarity." Kenzi shrugged nonchalantly. "I just went with it."

"Oh. Thanks. I think."

"So, about that _investment _of yours…what are you going to do about it?"

"Go on a Fae sex bender until I come to my senses and forget about this obsession."

Kenzi slightly shook her head and internally rolled her eyes. She seriously doubted Bo would be able to screw her way out of this crush, her heart was simply too big. But despite her doubts, Kenzi tried to be supportive. "Well Succuslut, a yummy hunk of man meat just walked in. I'm sure he has sexual chi to burn!"

Bo eagerly turned to see her potential target, who definitely was a fine hunk of man meat, but she stayed rooted to her barstool. She finally sighed and slumped over the bar again, resting her chin on her forearms. "I guess I'm not really hungry after all."

Kenzi snorted. "A succubus who's lost her appetite for random Fae? Damn girl, you got it bad!"

Bo harrumphed. "Shut up, Kenzi."

FIN


	2. Scientific Curiosity

...

**Scientific Curiosity**

**Setup**: Season 1, Episode 6, Food for Thought. (Backstory is all canon, although theoretically it could also be a sequel to _Investment_. Read into it what you like.) Bo and Lauren are at the Dal and Lauren asks Bo how she reads libido. Bo says she can see energy flow, like an aura. Material from the actual TV scene is in bold italics.

**_Bo looked over to the end of the bar and spotted a couple chatting, each with sexual auras of different intensity. "Take them, for example. Ok. See, he is average, she is way more in to him."_**

**_Lauren was amazed. "You can tell all that?"_**

**_"__Yeah."_**

**_"__Ok, on a scale from one to ten."_**

**_"__He's a four, she's a seven." said Bo with a smug smile._**

_**Lauren was intrigued – and playfully curious. "Ok, what about me, right now?"** _

Bo turned to look at her friend directly. With a mischievous – and somewhat provocative – smirk, she stared intensely at Lauren's eyes, long enough to make the doctor self-conscious. "That's a really strange question coming from you, doctor."

From the moment they saw each other that night, Lauren's aura had been burning bright. Actually, from the moment they first _met_ Lauren burned for Bo. Bo knew they couldn't ever pursue anything since Lauren was human, so she tried not to tease the poor woman and lead her on. But now that Lauren was openly inviting it, she couldn't resist.

"Why strange? I mean, uh, it was just um, scientific curiosity." Lauren stammered. She _really_ hadn't thought this through very well.

"It's strange, doctor, because unlike with that couple down there…_both _of us already _know_ the answer to that question."

Lauren's breath hitched and her face started to heat up as she realized how completely transparent she was to Bo. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. What was I thinking, asking her that? Idiot._

Bo just kept staring at Lauren and watched her squirm. It was actually a bit cruel, but Bo couldn't help herself. It probably had something to do with the fact that her own aura was aflame as well.

"But I'll answer it anyway." Bo's smirk grew into a full-fledged grin. "When you asked the question, you were a seven and a half. Now that you're blushing, you're a nine."

Lauren looked at her feet to get away from Bo's piercing stare. She tried to hide her discomfort with a half-hearted chuckle, but she was utterly speechless. She turned back to the bar and was disappointed that her shot glass was empty.

Bo wouldn't let her get out of this that easily. Supporting herself on her elbow, she leaned sideways over the bar, so she could get in Lauren's face again. "And when I visited your lab for the first time and you 'examined' me, you were easily…" She licked her lips suggestively. "…a fourteen."

Lauren wished that the floor would just open up and swallow her whole. They had met at the Dal under the pretense that Bo would work on her 'control' under her doctor's supervision. But she hadn't behaved like a doctor at all. She felt like such a fool. Without making eye contact, Lauren spoke softly and attempted to salvage her last shred of dignity before she bolted.

"I owe you an apology Bo. I've been totally unprofessional, which is inexcusable. I-I won't bother you again. You're welcome to come by the lab for injections and if you prefer I can have a nurse administer them. Have a good night, Bo. I'm really s-sorry." She grabbed her purse and practically ran out of the Dal.

Bo was completely stunned by Lauren's frantic escape. She felt awful, she had pushed too far and instead of playfully flirting she completely humiliated her friend. "Shit!" She left a few bills on the bar for Trick, and ran after the woman she was hopelessly crushing on.

Bo found Lauren down the alley outside the Dal. She was leaning against the brick building, her eyes clamped shut while she softly banged the back of her head against the wall. Bo's stomach clenched from a pang of guilt as she watched Lauren's self-flagellation from a distance.

Bo strode toward her friend as fast as possible, trying not to make too much noise so she wouldn't spook Lauren. "Lauren, I am so sorry!"

"Please Bo, you don't need to say anything." _I've had enough humiliation tonight._ "I should just go home." She began to walk away but Bo gently grabbed her arm.

"Please don't go! I was a total asshole! I didn't mean to be, but I was. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Look, you and I both know that you didn't say anything that wasn't true. I made a complete fool of myself and it was all my own doing. I don't know why I asked you to read me, I was just asking for trouble."

"You asked me because you were flirting. And I flirted back. I just got carried away and crossed a line and I feel terrible that I made you feel bad. I really am sorry."

"But I shouldn't have been flirting at all, Bo. I'm your doctor and it was a serious breach of ethics."

"Ethics schmethics. There's nothing to apologize for. You're not just my doctor, you're my friend, and I don't care what the doctor rule book says, there's nothing wrong with being both. And I think of you as being my friend first."

Bo ran her hands through her hair a couple of times and sighed heavily. She was very possibly about to make things worse. "Actually that's not exactly true. The truth is that the attraction is mutual. _Very_ mutual. But I've been trying so hard to ignore it because I refuse to let my libido endanger your life. Which makes what I did tonight even more stupid. But please don't be embarrassed and start avoiding me. I would be so crushed if I couldn't hang out with you anymore."

Lauren took a few moments to let what Bo said sink in. She just kept staring at Bo as her embarrassment gradually transformed into something more like…was it confidence?

"Please say something." Bo pleaded; Lauren's silence was unnerving.

Lauren stepped forward until she was toe-to-toe with her flustered friend. She put her hands on Bo's shoulders and then soothingly rubbed up and down her bare arms; Bo couldn't be sure if it was just a comforting gesture or something more. Bo looked questioningly at Lauren and then suddenly held her breath when Lauren leaned in closer and embraced her. Lauren just rested her chin on Bo's shoulder and rubbed lazy circles on her back. Bo relaxed slightly and finally brought her own arms around Lauren's back and held her gently.

Just as Bo was about to convince herself that this was just a comforting platonic hug, Lauren started nuzzling her neck. Bo's heartbeat sped up as she felt Lauren's hands stroke lower down her back and very close to her ass. Then she gasped sharply when she felt Lauren's lips and tongue on her sensitive neck.

"Lauren, what are you doing? We can't…"

"Shhhh. You'll be fine. And I'm not going near your mouth. Just let yourself feel. And don't forget to breathe."

"But…"

"Shhhh…"

Lauren sensually kissed and licked up and down Bo's neck and throat. Lauren lingered at Bo's pulse point, sucking gently. Bo groaned helplessly as her arousal flared and she felt her eyes shift to brilliant blue as her succubus awakened. Lauren continued to rub her hands lower until she was blatantly massaging Bo's ass. She licked all the way up Bo's neck until she reached a tender earlobe for her to nibble and suck.

"Go ahead and kiss my neck, Bo."

"I-I can't, I…Oh god…I'm too turned on! It's not safe!"

"You won't hurt me Bo, you're not a vampire. Kiss wherever you want, just don't kiss my mouth. Just feel, don't feed."

"Laur –"

"Shhh…it's ok." Lauren put her hand behind Bo's head and pulled the succubus in to the side of her neck. Bo moaned as she started to caress Lauren's neck with her lips. She was so aroused and hungry, but she wasn't rough and demanding with Lauren. She took several deep breaths as she kissed and licked Lauren's neck slowly and sensually, causing both women to moan.

"That's it, Bo. That's so good…"

Bo started growing bolder, kissing over to the other side of Lauren's neck and up her jaw. Bo's hands started rubbing lower until she reached Lauren's ass, massaging insistently as the doctor groaned louder. They continued for several minutes, devouring each other's necks and shoulders, kissing into cleavage as far as their clothing allowed. They rubbed and squeezed and stroked, as their panting became louder and faster. They were heatedly making out in every sense of the word, just without their mouths touching.

Bo had never been this aroused without kissing, or with this many clothes on. She ached for more flesh to touch, for lips to devour, she ached for Lauren, and it was making her tremble with lust.

"Lauren, please, we have to stop! You're setting me on fire! I want you so much, I'm going to lose control!" Bo cried frantically between desperate gasps.

Lauren slowly kissed her way back down Bo's neck and gave her ass a few final squeezes. She pulled back to look at Bo's glowing eyes. Lauren stroked Bo's face as she continued to pant. Lauren startled Bo when she suddenly leaned in and bravely gave her a slow but chaste kiss on the lips. With a proud but mischievous grin, Lauren released Bo from her embrace and started to back away. "But you didn't, Bo."

Bo just stared dumbly as her breathing started to slow.

"I'll see you tomorrow." With a twinkle in her eye and a spring in her step, Lauren turned to leave.

As Bo watched Lauren gracefully walk down the alley to the main street, a sly smile slowly spread across her face. _Tomorrow. Definitely._

FIN


	3. No Dogs Allowed

**No Dogs Allowed**

**Setup:** Season 1, Episode 7, _ArachnoFaebia_. Canon up till this point. Lauren shows up at the Dal to meet Bo, Dyson is with her and won't leave. Tension ensues. Dialogue from the show is in bold italics.

**_"_****_Are you questioning my fealty?" Dyson challenged the doctor._**

**_Bo made a futile attempt to diffuse the tension. "You know what, I'm not even really sure what that is, but I'm pretty sure she was not questioning it." _**

**_"_****_I can speak for myself." Lauren quickly responded, though she kept her stare fixed on Dyson._**

**_"_****_When the Ash lets you." Dyson smiled smugly, knowing that he succeeded in completely rattling the doctor._**

**_Lauren looked at Dyson with a grin that shot daggers. She didn't have to put up with this shit. "Thanks," She put her drink down and turned to face Bo. "for the, um...'fun.'"_**

Lauren stood up and briskly walked away, leaving Bo speechless and Dyson smirking. Bo couldn't believe what just happened. When Lauren arrived and Dyson decided to stay it was slightly awkward, but when Bo asked Lauren to join them on the couch the last thing she expected was an all-out pissing contest.

Once she got over being stunned, Bo was furious. "Dyson, what the _fuck_ is wrong with you? As soon as she walked in you got so goddamned territorial you might as well have peed on me! Just because I'm a succubus doesn't mean that swinging your dick around is the way to impress me!"

"Oh come on, Bo. She's not really your friend. She's just trying to get in your pants! Sometimes you're too trusting."

Bo was shocked by the presumptuous condescension behind his 'I'm just looking out for you' excuse. He may have fooled himself, but his real motives were obvious to Bo. _So much for being honorable and noble._ "Yeah Dyson, I suppose I really am." Bo glared at him as she got up to leave. "Enjoy the shots."

"Where are you going?" It had never occurred to him that Bo would reject his company.

"You may have won the cockfight, but you're sure as hell not getting the prize!" Without waiting for a response, she turned in a huff to go find Lauren, as Dyson gaped at her in bewilderment.

Bo checked the bar but there was no sign of her friend. "Shit." Hale and Kenzi looked up and simply pointed at the door. She ran out the door and looked both ways down the alley. Still no Lauren. "Dammit!" Next, Bo ran to the end of the alley and on to the main street. Almost a block away, she saw Lauren trying to hail a cab. Bo sprinted toward the doctor, watching in frustration as a cab stopped to pick her up.

Once Lauren climbed into the cab and gave the driver her address, she went to pull the door closed and felt an unusual resistance. She looked up and saw Bo holding the door open with a coy smile on her face.

"Would you mind sharing a cab?"

As soon as Lauren saw Bo's face, all of the tension and humiliation from the encounter with Dyson just melted away. Bo had left Dyson behind. More importantly, Bo had come after _her_. Lauren's eyes sparkled and she smiled brightly. "Sure, come on in." Lauren said as she eagerly slid over to make room for Bo.

"So where are we going?"

"I was just going home. Do you want to go somewhere else? Maybe somewhere that doesn't allow dogs?" she asked innocently.

Bo couldn't hold back her giggles. She was utterly charmed. "Wherever you want, Lauren. But it would be nice if I had a chance to buy you a proper drink."

"I've got some wine at my place." Lauren tried to sound nonchalant, but was doubtful that she pulled it off. _What the hell am I doing?_

Their eyes met in a meaningful stare and Bo grinned impishly. She knew she was playing with fire, and she was willingly walking right into it like a moth to a flame. "That sounds lovely."

Lauren couldn't believe her good fortune. She decided that taking Bo home for a nightcap was well worth the price of temporarily losing her dignity to the posturing wolf.

* * *

><p>"Wow Lauren, your place is beautiful!" exclaimed Bo as she was ushered into Lauren's apartment. "So bright and open. Is that a loft?"<p>

Lauren smiled flirtatiously. "Yes, but when I want to be extra pretentious I call it the mezzanine."

Bo giggled at her friend's charming dorkiness. "Oh, so that's where the cheap seats are, huh?"

Lauren walked over to the kitchen island to put down her purse. "You definitely get cute points for going with the theatre metaphor," she turned back to look at Bo and raised an eyebrow. "…on the other hand you're insinuating that access to my bed is cheap and easy." _Oh my god, did I just say that out loud?_

Bo responded with her own raised eyebrow. "Then maybe you should call it the Luxury Box instead."

"My bed, the Luxury _Box_?" Lauren giggled, but she was helpless to stop her blush. "Sounds like the VIP room in a Victorian brothel. So did you just make a pretentious dirty joke on purpose or was it an accident?"

"That depends. Which answer gives me the most points?"

"Accident has the most cute points, on purpose has the most sexy points. Take your pick."

"Then it must have been an accident." Bo sashayed over to the kitchen island and climbed on a stool. "Because I have all the sexy I need."

Lauren chuckled nervously, knowing full well that Bo could read her like a book. "And that's my cue to go find some wine glasses. I have a decent Pinot Noire, or would you prefer white Zin?"

"Pinot sounds great." Bo smiled and silently watched Lauren retrieve the bottle of wine and rummage around in a drawer until she found a corkscrew. Bo felt a pleasant flutter in her stomach when she saw Lauren's shirt ride up and tighten around her curves as she stretched up to reach the wine glasses on the top shelf of the cupboard.

"I really appreciate you having me over Lauren, especially after you walked into that ambush. I can't tell you how sorry I am about that."

"Dyson's a big boy, you don't need to apologize for him. And as unpleasant as it was – you totally made my night by coming after me." Lauren handed Bo a glass of wine and took a sip of her own.

"I'm just so glad I caught you in time. I almost missed you because I was busy telling Dyson off."

"Too bad I left early," Lauren mused. "I would have loved to have stayed and watched the show." Her eyes twinkled as she sipped her wine while holding Bo's gaze. "Care to give me the highlights?"

Bo maintained eye contact and took a moment to savor her wine before she swallowed. "I believe my parting words were 'you won the cockfight but you're not getting the prize.'" She boasted with a sly grin.

"Oooh, snap! That _was_ a good show." Lauren could not have been more delighted as she learned how Bo had defended her honor. "You'll have to let me know if it's playing again sometime so I can buy tickets."

"I have a sneaking suspicion it will be playing the next time the three of us are in a room together. In which case, we'll have front row seats if you stick around." Bo rolled her eyes as she sipped some more wine. "I honestly don't get him. He's the one who said we could have sex only for healing, that he didn't want a relationship. And then he gets all possessive like I'm his girlfriend or something."

"Do you want to be?" Lauren internally slapped herself. _Do I really want to know the answer to that question?_

Bo was pensive for a few moments. "I thought I did. I was pretty peeved when he said he didn't want any strings. But then what the hell do I know about relationships? He was the first person I slept with who didn't die. Maybe I saw him as the Prince Charming who could rescue me from my life as a serial killer. That can make a person fairly attractive. But this territorial bullshit is beyond annoying."

"Not to mention childish. I don't know why he feels so threatened." That was a lie of course. Lauren knew she was Dyson's competition, she just didn't think the odds were in her favor. But Lauren also didn't want to sound overeager and make Bo feel pressured or awkward, so she downplayed the vague nature of their relationship. "We were getting together for a friendly drink, it's not as if we're dating." _Or are we?_

Bo held her friend's gaze just a little too long when Lauren mentioned they weren't dating. Fearing that Lauren may have seen the longing in her eyes, Bo quickly snapped out of it. "And he tried to make it sound like he was just looking out for poor, little, innocent me – how noble!"

"So not only does he think I'm a rival, he thinks I'm evil too? How sweet of him."

"Not evil exactly. Just, um…well, he said you're not really my friend and that..." Bo looked away as she realized she was saying something she probably shouldn't. "…you're just trying to get in my pants."

Lauren slowly put her wine down as she saw how uncomfortable Bo had just become. Lauren sighed heavily as she felt the need to give Bo some reassurance, despite her own embarrassment. "Bo, in order to be in your life I've had to make peace with the fact that at any given moment, you know the state of my libido better than I do. So I know I can't hide how attracted I am to you, regardless of how inconvenient or impractical it is." She reached across the island and gently grasped Bo's hand, causing her to finally look directly at Lauren again. "But I do hope you know that my interest in your friendship is genuine, and I would never want to do anything to jeopardize that."

"I know that." Bo began involuntarily rubbing Lauren's knuckles with her thumb as she felt her heart flutter just from holding Lauren's hand. "Regardless of what your hormones are doing, I know you've always had the best of intentions."

Lauren looked away and smiled self-deprecatingly. Then she happily realized that Bo was still holding her hand and didn't seem in a hurry to let go. "So, uh…I've been meaning to ask, how have you been doing with your hunger since the last injection? I tweaked the formula a little bit, have you noticed any difference?"

"You know, now that I think about it, I've gone a little longer between feedings these last several days, so that's good." Bo felt herself being pulled into another revealing stare with Lauren. "But I still worry if I'll ever be safe enough to be with a human, ah, humans."

Bo's slip didn't get past Lauren, and she smiled internally at the possibility that Bo had a specific human in mind. "You've made a lot of progress, Bo. You successfully stopped feeding on that security guard, and that was the first time you tried with an actual human."

"Yeah, I was pretty happy about that, but I also know that it's going to be ten times harder to stop if I'm actually feeding during sex."

"One step at a time Bo. You'll get there."

After a long pause, Bo timidly broke the silence. "Do you think I'll ever be able to have sex without feeding at all?"

Bo's sudden vulnerability made Lauren's heart clench. "Bo, you can control your abilities but you can't just stop being a succubus. You will always need chi for nourishment."

"No, that's not what I mean. I just want to be able to have the _option_ not to feed. So that sex isn't always about feeding. I want to be able to…to…" Bo couldn't finish her sentence as she realized how much she was exposing. She wasn't used to being the transparent one. Bo sighed heavily and looked down at their still clasped hands and she felt herself blush.

"To make love?" Lauren said gently.

"Yeah." Bo swallowed hard. "With someone special." Bo finally dared to look at Lauren again, who gazed back at her with the kindest eyes. "I've never had that, you know?"

"The very fact that you want that is contrary to everything we know about succubi, but somehow, I'm not surprised. You deserve to have that experience, Bo. And I know someday you will." Lauren smiled affectionately and gave Bo's hand a reassuring squeeze before finally letting go to pick up her wine glass again.

A hopeful grin spread across Bo's face as she too picked up her wine. As they each took a slow sip, Bo and Lauren shared a coy gaze, and the same thought. _Someday can't get here soon enough._

FIN


	4. Breakthrough, Breakdown

.

**Breakthrough, Breakdown**

.

**Setup**: Season 1, Episode 8, _Vexed_. Bo & Lauren's first time and the morning after disaster, as retold by a sappy, melodramatic, doccubus shipper. :-D Lauren visits Bo at the behest of the Ash to try and stop her from taking revenge on Vex for framing a woman for the murder of her step children. Canon up until this point, but could also be a follow-up to _No Dogs Allowed_ without changing the canon in between. This story is in two parts. Unoriginal dialogue owned by Showcase is in bold italics.

*This story is rated **M**. Mature sexual content. Read at your own risk.*

* * *

><p><strong>Breakthrough<strong>

**.**

**_"_****_You barely know this woman, why are you taking it so personally?"_**

**_"_****_Because we both want the same things. No matter how miserable I was before you told me that I was Fae, at least I had hope back then that I could live a normal human life one day if I wanted to."_**

**_"_****_But do you want a normal life? The picket fence and the kids and –" _**

**_"_****_I want to know that it's my choice to make, not theirs. I mean Lou made her choice, and look at what they did to her. And if I just let that go, if I let them get away with it, what chance do I have at living a life of my own? And who would want to live it with me?" _**

In an instant, thoughts of Lou and Vex faded away in Lauren's mind, and all she heard was that Bo might want a normal life one day, and she had insinuated that she wanted someone special to live it with. Lauren was internally jumping up and down, waving her arms and screaming _I would! I want to live my life with you! _ She knew it was irrational to fall in love this fast, she knew it was impossible to be with a succubus long term, she knew that she couldn't sustain Bo, she knew it was illegal to have a relationship with her, and hell, she wasn't totally sure that Bo was even interested, but all of those logical reasons just evaporated as she was overwhelmed by her need for this woman. She just couldn't take it anymore, she had to express it somehow, consequences be damned.

Lauren gently took Bo's hand and held it reverently in both of hers. Then she brought it to her lips and softly kissed it.

Bo wasn't sure where this had come from, especially since they were in the middle of a conversation about avenging a murder. Yet she couldn't help being mesmerized as Lauren's lips caressed her hand. "Lauren?"

Lauren didn't say anything, but she looked up at Bo with vulnerable eyes. She reached out to caress Bo's cheek; despite her confusion, Bo was helpless to resist closing her eyes and pressing her cheek more firmly into Lauren's palm. Lauren's breath hitched as Bo responded to her affectionate gesture. Lauren leaned in for a kiss, but as soon as Bo felt movement her eyes snapped open. Before their lips could meet, Bo pulled back and put her hands on Lauren's shoulders to prevent her from getting closer. "We can't!" Bo frantically whispered.

"Bo," Lauren said gently, "if you weren't a succubus, would you want me to kiss you?" Despite Bo's fears, Lauren thought there had been plenty of signs of mutual attraction, but she needed to know it hadn't been her imagination.

Bo didn't answer right away; she just stared back at Lauren, her eyes full of guilt and longing. She knew that admitting her feelings would just make things harder, but she didn't want Lauren to feel rejected or embarrassed for putting her heart on display.

"Yes. Of course I would. Lauren, I can't tell you how much it kills me that I'm not safe for you to be with. But I can't let you get hurt."

Lauren lovingly caressed Bo's cheek again. "Oh, my sweet Bo," she sighed.

Lauren stood up, further confusing Bo. But she was completely unprepared when Lauren casually climbed in her lap, straddling her.

"Lauren, what are you doing?" Bo was on the verge of a panic attack.

Lauren stroked Bo's hair soothingly. "It's ok, it's ok, I promise. Just relax." Lauren cooed softly.

"But –"

Lauren placed a finger over Bo's lips to quiet her. "Sweetie, are you chi-starved right now?"

Bo slowly shook her head, even though she felt oddly embarrassed to basically admit that she recently had sex with someone else.

Lauren smiled reassuringly as she caressed Bo's face again. "I'm going to kiss you, Bo. If it makes you feel safer, you can keep your mouth closed – but I won't, ok? Just relax. You'll be fine."

Bo's heart was racing, but a little tiny voice told her to trust Lauren's judgment, even though it terrified her. Lauren cradled Bo's face in her hands and leaned in for a gentle kiss. Bo closed her eyes and inhaled sharply through her nose when she felt Lauren's soft lips caress her own. It was such a simple sensation, almost innocent, but it made Bo's heart sing. But she was determined to keep her lips closed so she willed herself to relax and stay passive and let Lauren take the lead. Lauren's chaste kisses eventually became more ardent, as she opened her mouth slightly and nipped at Bo's bottom lip. Bo groaned when she felt Lauren's tongue on her lips.

A couple minutes later, Lauren paused and Bo opened her eyes. "Now you kiss me like that. I'll keep my lips closed, ok?"

Bo nodded as if she were in a trance, then gently descended upon Lauren's lips. Bo was tentative at first, but soon she settled in and just enjoyed lazily kissing and nipping and occasionally licking Lauren's warm, delectable lips, as both women murmured happily.

"Bo, sweetie, how are you feeling? Are you getting turned on?"

Bo nuzzled Lauren's neck while she tried to calm down her breathing. "Yeah, definitely. Already there." she admitted, with a little fear in her voice.

"Do you feel out of control?"

"Uh, well…I guess not. I think I'm ok for now."

"See, I told you that you would be fine. Now give me another kiss."

Bo began kissing Lauren's closed lips again, but she gasped in shock when she suddenly felt Lauren open her mouth and their tongues met for the first time. Bo groaned and felt her eyes shift to blue behind her eyelids. She almost stopped and pulled away, but she realized that despite her escalating arousal, she didn't feel the overwhelming urge to feed. So she decided to relax and keep going for the time being.

After several minutes, their languid kisses were becoming more urgent and passionate and accompanied by small moans and grunts. Unbeknownst to Bo, Lauren had managed to unbutton her blouse. She gently grabbed Bo's hands and guided them to her exposed abs, hoping to encourage Bo to embrace her under her blouse. As soon as Bo felt Lauren's bare skin, she paused as a new bolt of arousal coursed through her. She pulled back and looked down and was overwhelmed by the sight of Lauren's open blouse, exposing her pastel blue bra. The steady, pleasant warmth in her groin immediately became a throb and Bo felt her eyes flash brightly. Bo gasped in a panic and leaned back into the couch trying to get as far away as she could, considering that Lauren was on her lap.

"Oh god! I can't! It's not safe! God, Lauren, you're so beautiful and I'm so turned on…and I want you so much but I might lose control! Please, don't let me hurt you!"

Bo was almost near tears, and Lauren's heart ached for her. "Shhhh, you're ok. It's ok to be turned on, Bo. Are you feeling the urge to feed?"

"A little bit."

"Do you feel out of control? Is the urge too strong?"

"Not yet, but –"

"So you're not out of control, but you're afraid because you're so turned on?"

"Yes!"

"Ok, listen to me Bo. Being turned on doesn't have to be a bad thing, it doesn't have to mean you have to feed, it just has a scary association right now. Don't be afraid to be turned on, it's separate from the urge to feed. So if the urge isn't overwhelming, then you're ok."

"Lauren, I'm so scared."

"I know sweetie. Everything will be ok, I promise. Trust me, even if you can't trust yourself." Lauren gently took Bo's hands and guided them to her bare skin again. "Go ahead and touch me, Bo. Put your arms around me."

Bo's breathing was still shallow from arousal and fear; but she swallowed hard and leaned forward and slid her hands from Lauren's abs around to her back. Bo pulled Lauren in tightly so she could rest her cheek on Lauren's chest. Bo paused there for a minute, breathing deeply and luxuriating in the feel of Lauren's warm bare skin.

Lauren stroked Bo's hair lovingly. "You're doing just fine Bo. Just let yourself feel."

Bo slowly found her courage as she gradually tested her tolerance. At first she just nuzzled in Lauren's cleavage and then added some gentle kissing. Her lips skimmed over Lauren's collar bones and up her neck until finally their lips and tongues met in an explosion of fiery kisses. Bo pawed at Lauren's bare back under her blouse, rubbing and stroking and squeezing everywhere she found bare flesh. Her fingers stroked Lauren's abs, causing the toned muscles to quiver as Lauren moaned her pleasure.

"That's so good Bo!" Lauren breathily declared between kisses.

"Mmmm…you feel incredible Lauren. Oh baby, I can't get enough of you!"

Lauren's heart soared when she heard Bo's term of endearment. "How are you feeling Bo? Any strong urges to feed?"

"The urge…is there…but…I think I'm ok."

"I knew you could do it." As Lauren dove back in for more kisses, she took hold of Bo's hands and guided them to her breasts. Both women groaned gutturally when Bo made contact, first squeezing gently and then her fingers quickly found Lauren's hard nipples protruding through the fabric of her bra.

As soon as Bo touched her nipples, Lauren hissed sharply and then expelled a high-pitched moan. Her hips involuntarily started rocking in Bo's lap, her body crying out for more friction. Suddenly Bo latched on to a nipple with her mouth; she sucked and nibbled hungrily, making a wet spot on Lauren's bra.

"God, yes!" Lauren lustily cried. She had been trying to remain clear-headed so she could guide Bo to help her feel more in control, but once their play focused on her breasts, Lauren was feeling out of control herself. Her nipples were inflamed, her clit throbbed, and her panties were soaked. She couldn't hold back any longer; she reached for the front clasp of her bra and released her breasts.

"Oh god, oh god…" Bo's arousal flared again as Lauren's breasts were exposed. "Oh Lauren, you're so beautiful!" Bo squeezed and stroked and nuzzled and finally took a stiff nipple in her mouth, moaning rapturously.

Lauren held Bo's head tightly to her breast as she panted rapidly and rocked her hips faster. She struggled to find her voice. "Oh god…so good, so good! Can we…can we move this to your bedroom? Are you...feeling safer now?"

"I think…I am." Bo groaned as she switched breasts, eliciting another sharp gasp from Lauren. "Oh baby, you taste so good!" Suddenly Lauren cried out when Bo ravenously sucked hard on her nipple and sharply pinched the other.

"Please Bo… let's move to your bed…because soon I won't be able to stop…and I really don't want…Kenzi walking in on us." Lauren pleaded through her labored breathing.

"Mmmm…ok, ok baby let's go." Lauren climbed off of Bo's lap, and once she was standing, she offered her hand to Bo to help her off the couch. As soon as Bo was standing she embraced Lauren tightly and hungrily took Lauren's lips and tongue into her mouth again.

For several minutes, they gave themselves up to their mutual hunger until Lauren pulled herself away, panting hard. "Up…upstairs." Bo replied with a nod, and then the inflamed lovers raced up to Bo's bedroom. As soon as they crossed the threshold, Bo pushed Lauren's open blouse and bra off her shoulders and Lauren whipped off Bo's shirt and camisole. They met again in an urgent kiss as Lauren reached around to unhook Bo's bra. Once the bra was discarded, they both helplessly cried out when their breasts and nipples touched for the first time.

"Oh god, Bo…I've …wanted you…for so long!" Lauren panted out between desperate kisses.

"I've wanted… you too, so much…but I thought…I could never have you."

"But you can, Bo. I'm yours." Lauren spoke what was in her heart without censoring herself, yet in the back of her mind alarm bells were going off, warning her that it was foolish to give her heart to Bo so easily when she knew they could never have a normal monogamous relationship, even if Bo wanted one. But her logical mind was quickly silenced as Lauren once again lost herself to passion.

Bo groaned in response to her lover's ardent declaration, and she tightened her hold around Lauren. She kissed and nipped up and down Lauren's jaw and neck and paused when her lips ran into Lauren's necklace. She pulled back and fingered the Ash's pendant, suddenly remembering what Trick had told her it symbolized.

Lauren looked at Bo in confusion. "What is it?"

Bo reached around Lauren's neck to unfasten the chain, as she looked at Lauren with compassion in her eyes. "We're not letting the Ash come to bed with us. Nobody owns you tonight."

For a split second, Lauren was mortified that Bo had found out what her pendant really meant, but as she looked into Bo's soulful eyes, her fear and shame melted away and she was deeply moved by Bo's gesture. At that moment Lauren helplessly fell even deeper in love.

Bo placed a tender kiss upon Lauren's lips and then walked over to place the necklace on the dresser for safe keeping. When she turned back around, Bo was momentarily stunned by the vision of Lauren, aroused and topless, standing across the room waiting for Bo to return to her.

"Lauren, you are so absolutely beautiful."

Lauren felt her face grow hot from her blushing, but she wasn't at all embarrassed. "And you take my breath away, Bo." While maintaining eye contact, Lauren began unfastening her pants. Bo quickly got the idea and both women peeled off the rest of their clothes, each mesmerized by the other as more and more flesh was revealed.

"Breathtaking." Lauren was absolutely entranced by Bo's nude form. She had already seen Bo naked during her medical 'exam,' but to see her in a bedroom setting set Lauren's libido on fire.

After maintaining control of her succubus this far, Bo was feeling a little more comfortable and was finally allowing herself to fully enjoy all the delicious sensations that Lauren coaxed from her body. Bo sensually licked her lips as her brilliant blue eyes feasted on Lauren's body. As if on cue, both lovers floated toward each other until they met in an inflamed full-body embrace, moaning loudly as their skin sparked with pleasure wherever they touched each other.

They savored each other's lips and tongues and wetly nipped at their necks, earlobes, and collarbones. Their breathing became loud, erratic panting as they firmly rubbed and squeezed their backs and buttocks. They were practically trying to absorb each other and they still hadn't made it to the bed yet.

As Bo's lips and tongue caressed her sensitive neck, Lauren tried to hang on to her last shred of rational thought as she swam through a haze of lust. "Bo honey, are you feeling ok, how's your hunger doing?"

Bo came up for air so she could reply, but her breath was labored. "It's getting stronger, but I feel like I can handle it. But it's good to keep checking." Bo inhaled deeply but it did little to slow her pounding heart and rapid panting. "Oh Lauren," she groaned, "you feel sooo wonderful!"

"You do to, Bo. It feels so right to finally be in your arms. Ohhhhh…mmmm. Ok, listen sweetie. If the urge starts to get too strong, just move away from my mouth and focus on somewhere else. But don't panic and stop, ok? Work through it and just concentrate on your pleasure. You'll be fine, I promise."

Bo took several deep breaths to center herself. "Ok, baby."

Lauren suddenly squealed when, without warning, Bo effortlessly picked her up and carried her to bed. Lauren's initial shock quickly dissipated as she was overwhelmed by a surge of arousal as she was cradled in Bo's strong arms. Bo laid Lauren gently on the bed, then gracefully stretched out on top of her, smothering her with languid, sensual kisses.

When Lauren felt Bo's warm naked body press into her own, she thought she might pass out from sheer joy. Her body was aflame but her heart and mind were floating. She moaned into Bo's kisses, her brow slightly frowning because the emotion behind their lustful caresses was so unbearably sweet. She suddenly felt an odd but pleasurable sensation, a sort of tugging deep within her chest. Within a few seconds she figured out what was happening and suddenly Bo violently pulled away from her mouth with a yelp. Lauren saw the slightest hint of blue wisps floating near Bo's mouth, confirming that Bo had started to feed.

"No, no, no, no, please no!" Bo practically sobbed. "Oh god, I almost… Lauren I'm so sorry! We have to stop!"

"Shhhh…its ok, Bo. Bo, please look at me."

Bo reluctantly looked at Lauren, utterly ashamed of her brightly glowing eyes.

Lauren gently cupped Bo's face with her palm, using her thumb to wipe away the single tear that had fallen down Bo's cheek. "Remember what we said? No panicking. You didn't hurt me, you stopped almost immediately. That means you're still in control. We're both fine. You're ok. Just breathe baby. Don't be scared. But it's important you work through this, so we shouldn't stop. We'll just focus on something besides kissing on the mouth, ok?"

As soon as Bo weakly nodded, Lauren took the lead and rolled them over so she was on top. She enthusiastically dove into Bo's neck, causing her lover to gasp and release a low moan that almost sounded like purring. Lauren smiled in satisfaction that she had redirected Bo's attention so she started to make a winding, lazy trail down Bo's body with her lips and tongue. Lauren used both hands to gently caress Bo's breasts as she kissed down her lover's cleavage, then veered off to the side to slowly lick Bo's hard nipple.

"Ahhh! Oh god!" Bo's hips started to rock as her entire body became more inflamed. Lauren swirled the tip of her tongue around Bo's stiff nipple a few more times, then softly sucked it into her mouth and gradually added more suction and tugging until Bo was helplessly whimpering and arching her back, her breasts begging for more stimulation. Lauren increased the pressure and pinched the other nipple harder, eliciting an ecstatic "YES!" from her lover.

Bo let out a whining moan when Lauren released her nipples, but she gasped happily as Lauren continued to kiss and lick down her body. When Lauren reached the wiry hairs on Bo's mound, she paused to nuzzle and inhale deeply, savoring the arousing scent of Bo's sweet musk. Bo lightly stroked Lauren's hair as they took a moment to bask in the simple intimacy.

Lauren stroked Bo's inner thighs, encouraging her to spread them wider. Bo shivered and gasped as Lauren caressed her with wet, open-mouth kisses along her inner thighs, but always stopping before she reached Bo's swollen labia.

"You smell so good, baby. I could just live down here all night." Bo giggled at the compliment between her gasps and sighs.

Lauren slid her arms under Bo's thighs so she could cradle her lover's hips. She finally gave herself over to what she had been yearning for, for so very long; with a sighing groan of release she descended upon Bo's glistening pussy and slid her tongue through her warm, slippery lips as Bo cried out her pleasure. Lauren fought back the urge to devour and plunder; instead she licked and nipped slowly and sensuously, reverently worshipping Bo's aching, engorged flesh. Bo began to rock her hips as she panted and moaned from the slow, exquisite torture. Bo gently pressed on the back of Lauren's head to encourage her lover to give her firmer contact.

Lauren moaned into Bo's pussy as her tongue delved deep, luxuriating in the delicious elixir that spilled from Bo's depths. "Oh god, Lauren! Uhhhnnn…you feel so fuckin good, baby! Please, please make me come! Oh god I need you so much!"

Bo's begging set Lauren's body on fire, making her clit throb with desperate need. But she couldn't deny Bo anything, and redoubled her efforts to bring the woman she loved the sweet release she deserved. Lauren took a few moments to suck Bo's clit to make it more engorged and sensitive; then she switched to flicking it with the tip of her tongue as fast as possible. Bo's hips started thrusting manically and her helpless moaning gradually escalated to a wail. Without warning, Lauren plunged two fingers into her lover.

"Oh _FUCK_! Oh god…oh god…oh god…"

Lauren's finger thrusts steadily accelerated as Bo started to come apart at the seams. Lauren's own merciless ache pounded harder as she felt Bo's legs starting to shake. Suddenly Bo's body froze as all of her muscles contracted and her moaning became a strangled squeak. She stayed suspended in that state for several seconds and Lauren struggled to keep up; until finally, with a joyous scream, Bo plunged into the great abyss and floated away.

"Holy shit, Lauren! That was incredible!" Bo exclaimed as her breathing started to return to normal. "Please come back up here, I need to hold you!

Lauren was still panting from her own exertions, but she happily crawled back up Bo's body and collapsed on top of her. Carefully avoiding Lauren's mouth, Bo urgently kissed and licked all over Lauren's face, relishing her own wetness that was deliciously smeared on her lover's face. She firmly rubbed Lauren's back and moved her fervent kisses to Lauren's neck and shoulders.

"Oh god baby, I wanna make you come, I need to make you come so hard!" Bo pleaded as she rubbed and squeezed Lauren's ass, as she started rocking her hips into Bo's pelvis.

"Please! I've been on fire since we started! Oh god…"

Bo wriggled her hand between their bodies and both women groaned deeply when her fingers slipped into the hot pool of liquid arousal that had gathered between Lauren's throbbing lips.

"Gaaah! Ohhhhh god Lauren, you feel so good, so wet baby!"

"Please Bo, harder!"

Lauren started thrusting her hips more and more frantically, trying to get deeper contact with Bo's fingers. She shrieked in surprise when Bo suddenly rolled them over so that Bo lay on her stomach partly to the side of Lauren so she had more room and leverage to thrust with.

"You're so beautiful Lauren! I'm gonna give you what you need baby." Bo positioned her thumb over Lauren's clit and started forcefully thrusting her fingers in and out. As Bo's fingers increased in speed, Lauren's moans and cries increased in volume. Lauren rocketed toward completion as she was engulfed in a cloud of growing euphoria.

"Oh god Bo, please don't stop I'm gonna come…so hard…"

Bo and Lauren's eyes clamped shut and their brows furrowed as they concentrated on every thrust. They could no longer form coherent words and simply grunted with every exertion. Suddenly Bo roughly sucked a straining nipple into her mouth, finally igniting the explosion that launched Lauren into her ecstasy.

As Lauren came down from her orgasm, Bo gently slipped out of her lover and draped her arm around Lauren's waist. They lay there panting for several minutes before they found their voices again.

"Bo, baby there are no words…just…god, just incredible! The best!"

Lauren turned her head to find Bo's face looking back at her with a beaming yet tender smile and red-rimmed eyes filled with unshed tears.

Lauren raised a hand to cup Bo's cheek. "Bo, sweetie are you alright?"

"I…I did it. I really did it!" she giggled as a few tears leaked from her eyes. "I didn't feed."

"You didn't feed. And it was wonderful. Beautiful. I'm so proud of you, Bo. You made me feel amazing, just blew me away."

Without hesitation, Bo leaned in and gave Lauren a scorching kiss that left them both breathless. Her blue eyes glowed brighter, but she wasn't afraid anymore. She gazed at Lauren in wonder, and then maneuvered herself to be fully on top of her lover again. Bo stroked Lauren's cheek and hair and peppered her face with butterfly kisses.

Bo instinctively straddled Lauren's thigh and started to bear down while pressing her own thigh firmly between Lauren's legs. Both women groaned loudly from the delicious pressure that made their clits throb hotly once again.

"Yes, Bo! Mmmm…that's so good."

Bo smiled adoringly at Lauren and her fear of feeding finally slipped away and she was left with overpowering physical pleasure and a vulnerability she had never felt during sex before. Her heart was laid bare, so fragile yet warm and welcoming. The feelings were so foreign to her that she began to tremble as she tried to process them while being swept away in an ocean of lust. They rocked together sweetly for several minutes as they lazily explored each other's mouths and tongues, secure in the knowledge that this was exactly where they were supposed to be.

Bo took a moment to pull back so she could gaze into Lauren's eyes as their rocking and thrusting became more urgent. Bo felt positively euphoric watching Lauren's rapturous expression as she responded to the blissful joining of their bodies. When they joyfully arrived at their explosive destination, in that instant Bo's maelstrom of emotions coalesced and she finally understood what she had been feeling. After the storm had calmed there was just a single, terrifyingly clear thought left in its place. _I love you._

* * *

><p><strong>Breakdown<strong>

_._

Bo awoke gently to the thin rays of morning sunshine that filtered in from the boarded up windows. As she drifted toward consciousness, a sleepy, content smile spread across her face as she realized that she was pleasantly curled around Lauren's warm body. The previous night's activities played out in her mind and she almost giggled as happiness infused her being. Not only had she conquered her feeding urges, but she had made love for the first time in her life. She knew that was what it had to have been, they had made sweet, beautiful love, and she was pretty sure Lauren felt it too.

She also felt powerful, brand new, and yet she felt more _normal_ than she had ever felt in her adult life. She was no longer a slave to the beast within. But thoughts of a normal life gave way to thoughts about Lou. She had gotten sidetracked for the moment – for one of the best of reasons, she giggled internally – but now she was determined more than ever to get justice for Lou. Never again would she let someone be victimized for choosing a human life, including herself. She had to break the cycle of Dark Fae insanity.

With a new strength and resolve, Bo quietly slipped out of bed to get dressed. She didn't want the angel in her bed to wake up alone, but she didn't have time to waste. She went downstairs to make coffee and toast some bagels. She would leave breakfast and a note for Lauren and promise to see her later.

Lauren was starting to stir when Bo returned with bagels and coffee. Bo was utterly captivated by Lauren's morning cuteness. She could probably spend hours running her fingers through Lauren's adorably messed up hair.

"I hope I didn't wake you up sweetie. You looked so cute and peaceful." Bo grinned flirtatiously. "But I brought bagels and coffee."

As Lauren became more fully awake, she became alarmed that Bo was already up and dressed. "Are you going somewhere? I was really hoping you would stay with me."

"Oh I'm sorry babe. I would love to spend the day with you but I have a lot of work to do to find this psycho kid killer. It's really important to me."

"I know, but…I know it's really awful, but you know that Lou can't be saved, so the only thing left is your revenge. What's the rush? Don't you deserve some down time?"

Bo smirked playfully. "You're really going to make it hard to resist you today, aren't you? Who knew that Dr. Lewis was such a powerful temptress?" Bo chuckled and failed to see the fear and worry growing in Lauren's eyes. "I need to follow up on some leads today before the trail runs cold. But I promise we'll have time together later."

"Please Bo, please stay with me." Lauren pleaded.

Bo had just finished lacing her boots and was so preoccupied with her mission that Lauren's rising panic didn't even register. She slipped on her leather jacket with a fond smile and turned toward the door. "Oh baby, you're just so sweet. I really would love to but I really –"

_"__YOU CAN'T GO!"_ Lauren's hysterical outburst stopped Bo in her tracks. She turned with a frown and cautiously walked back to Lauren and was baffled by what she saw. Lauren was nearly hyperventilating, her face was flushed, her bottom lip was quivering and her eyes were full of tears.

"Lauren? Baby, why are you so freaked out?"

Lauren felt utterly helpless and she had nothing left to offer except the truth. "Because I don't want you to die!"

Bo sat down on the bed so she wouldn't tower over the frightened woman. "Sweetie, what are you talking about?"

"Bo this isn't like anything you've ever faced, you don't know what you're walking into! It's a suicide mission!"

Bo stared blankly as she tried to process what her lover just divulged. Her emotions turned on a dime as she felt the confused sting of betrayal. "You know who I'm looking for, don't you? What the hell, Lauren?"

"The Ash warned me, and he said that I –"

"The Ash? What does the fucking Ash have to do with this?" In an instant Bo put two and two together as her heart was ripped to shreds. She jumped up off the bed and backed away as if Lauren were some kind of monster. "That's why you're here, isn't it? The Ash sent you? You're on some goddamned _assignment_ to keep me out of the way? Why is he protecting this guy? And _YOU_ – how _could_ you, Lauren? How could you do this to me?" Bo's eyes were brimming with tears and rage. Last night had meant _nothing_. A diversion.

"So because I'm a succubus all the Ash has to do to clean up his mess is to toss a piece of ass my way? God Lauren, you're disgusting, and I'm a FUCKING FOOL! You actually had me convinced that last night MEANT something. But I forgot, succubi don't have feelings, or morals, and they can't love! I'm just a giant walking, talking sex toy!"

**_"_****_BO!"_** Lauren had never screamed so loud in her life. A single syllable and her throat was already raw. But at least it stopped Bo ranting, if only for a few precious seconds.

"You have it all WRONG. You've completely misunderstood what's going on here and you're jumping to conclusions. Please Bo, I'm _BEGGING_ you, give me the benefit of the doubt for five minutes so I can talk to you! Please don't leave like this, not after what we shared last night!"

"You see, there's a problem with that, because now I don't know _what_ we shared last night."

"You know damn well what happened between us! You're just confused right now because you're angry! Please, Bo. Just five minutes and it will all make sense!"

"Not until you tell me what we did last night! What the hell was that, Lauren? Huh? What was it?"

Through her veil of tears, Lauren stared resolutely back at Bo. She slowly threw back the covers, stood up, and walked over to stand in front of Bo, refusing to shrink from the ferocious anger that blazed in Bo's tearful eyes. She gently placed her hands on either side of Bo's face. "Bo, I am standing here before you utterly naked and exposed, in every sense of the words. And I'm telling you, I made love to you last night. And it felt like you were making love to me. We made love together, and it was beautiful. I'm so sorry you're hurting right now, but please give me a chance to talk to you about this complicated mess."

Bo's bottom lip and chin had started to tremble and before she fell victim to a torrent of sobs, Lauren cradled Bo's face and pulled her in for a loving kiss. The sweetness of Lauren's lips finally soothed the savage beast. When they broke the kiss, they kept their eyes closed and rested their foreheads together, and just stood for a moment, allowing the silence to gently cool their passions.

"I'm so confused."

"I know, sweetie. Let's sit, ok?"

Bo nodded and allowed Lauren to lead her to the bed. "Let's get comfy Bo. Why don't you take your boots off and join me." Lauren climbed into bed and sat up with her back against the headboard.

Bo smirked at her lover as she unlaced her boots. "You know, there's no way I'll be able to concentrate on what you're saying as long as those heavenly breasts are in my face."

Lauren grinned and rolled her eyes. "Fine, toss me a t-shirt." Bo grabbed one out of a drawer and lobbed it at Lauren. Once Lauren had the shirt on and Bo was situated next to her, Lauren grasped Bo's hand. "Ok, let me start from the beginning, try not to jump to any conclusions till I finish." Bo sighed heavily, but she nodded for Lauren to start.

"The Ash figured out that I was helping you, so he knew we were friends, he just never said anything about it. He also found out, I don't know how, about your plans to avenge Lou. Unfortunately, doing that would lead to some very deadly consequences. When the Ash explained the situation, I was so alarmed and scared for your safety, I immediately said 'how can I help' before he had the chance to give any sort of 'orders.' So please understand that I came of my own free will. The Ash and I both want the same thing but for different reasons. We want you alive. His reasons are political, although I agree with him, and my reasons are personal. I came over here last night to either talk some sense into you or at the very least keep you occupied until the Ash could negotiate with the Morrigan to get the Mesmer sent away."

"So the sex _was_ a diversion." Bo was so crushed that she didn't have any fight left.

"More accurately, it was a coincidence. My timing was lousy and as a result you have doubts about the significance of it, and I'm truly sorry. The fact that it kept you busy is nothing more than a side effect. Bo, I had barely been here for fifteen minutes and everything I planned to say and do went out the window. I just…"

"Just?"

"God Bo, I've been pining for you for so long! And when you started talking about living a normal life and, I don't know, something just snapped. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I needed you like oxygen. I swear to you, the _only_ reason I went to bed with you is because I wanted so desperately to make love to you. The fact that it kept you occupied was beside the point."

"So you were just hot and horny for the succubus, right?" Bo accused defensively.

"Bo, you are mind-bogglingly beautiful, of course you turn me on. But I don't go around seducing random hot women. Can't you see? Despite my better judgment, despite all the interspecies obstacles in our way… it makes no rational sense, but in such a short time I've found myself falling head over heels for you and there's been nothing I could do to stop it!"

Lauren had never felt more vulnerable; she looked at Bo helplessly, bracing herself for the rejection. Bo stared back at her, eyes as wild as they were watery.

"Bo, please say something."

After an uncomfortably long pause, Bo finally answered, her voice soft and frightened. "I…I already fell."

"Oh, my sweet Bo." Lauren caressed her lover's cheek, wiping away Bo's stray tears with her thumb.

"I'm sorry I snapped…I just couldn't bare the pain of thinking last night was meaningless to you. I love you so much and it tore me apart."

"I know baby, I understand. I know that must have hurt. I love you too."

"Oh god! I pretty much called you a whore! I'm so, so sorry Lauren! Please forgive me…I was just so hurt and confused and I know that none of this drama is your fault. I'm such an idiot!"

"Shhhh…it's ok. We're ok."

After a morning of excruciating emotional upheaval, the two lovers finally met again in a sweet kiss, made all the sweeter now that they each knew how the other felt.

After several minutes of tender kisses, Bo and Lauren eased themselves apart before they got swept away in their passions. "We still have a lot to talk about, Bo."

Bo frowned as she was forced to think about unpleasant things again. Kissing was definitely more preferable. She heaved a huge sigh and returned to voicing her frustrations. "So what's all the gloom and doom everyone is predicting if I go after this slimeball? Why is everyone assuming I can't take this guy on? I've proven I'm not to be underestimated, haven't I? I can take care of myself; I know you care about me, babe, but I don't need you or the Ash to protect me."

"You don't even know what kind of Fae he is. Tell me, what's your plan if you find him? Sword, gun, dagger, beat him to death with your bare hands?"

"Whatever I have to do."

"Bo, that's not a plan, that's bravado. Sometimes it's really sexy on you, but not when it's going to get you killed." Bo was about to interrupt but Lauren held up her hand. "Do you know what a Mesmer is?"

"No." Bo pouted.

"A Mesmer has one of the most diabolical powers of any Fae species. He has the ability to control your body – I mean literally. You are nothing more than a meat puppet to him. How do you think he got Lou to drown her children? With a flick of his wrist he took over her limbs and she had to watch in horror while her kids died by her own hand. I just did an autopsy the other day on a vampire that very likely was his last victim. He –"

"Siegfried?"

"Yeah, you know about it?"

"Yeah, long story. I saw the police file."

"Did you notice there was no forced entry, no sign of struggle, no signs of restraints, no defensive wounds?"

"Yeah, I did think that was weird."

"That Mesmer didn't have to lay a finger on him. But he controlled Siegfried's body and made him stick his own hand in a garbage disposal and cut out his own heart! And my autopsy confirmed that all of that was done to him while he was alive, in other words it was self-inflicted. If you have a weapon he will make you turn it on yourself. If you don't have a weapon…he's gotten people to claw their own eyes out, Bo! How in god's name could you possibly fight that? _Nobody_ can touch a Mesmer! You go anywhere near him and you'll die a grisly death, usually after he's forced you to do something degrading. Bo, can you understand my terror?"

Bo sighed in frustration. "Yes. You're right, those are pretty shitty odds. Gaaaaah! I hate being helpless! I could really use a punching bag right now!"

"Here, try this." Lauren offered Bo a pillow and a cheeky grin. "It looks pretty defenseless to me."

One smile from Lauren and Bo was putty in her hands. Bo punched the pillow away and stole a few kisses. "Hey wait a minute. Trick gave me this special sword that he said protects the wielder from corruption. Could that protect me from a Mesmer's influence?"

"I honestly don't know. But do you really want to go into a fight where there's a fifty percent chance that you'll disembowel yourself?"

"Fine. Rain on my parade."

"Bo, there's more here to consider beyond whether you get your ass handed to you or not."

"What do you mean?"

"This Mesmer is high ranking Dark Fae. If you try to kill him, not only will he kill you, but the Dark will consider it an act of war. That's why the Ash intervened. The bottom line is if a Fae war breaks out, many people will _die_. That is not an exaggeration, Bo. The Fae have a very bloody history. Even if you succeeded, and war didn't break out, at the very least there would be a price on your head. It would be more foolish and pointless than trying to bring down the mafia by killing one of their hit men. All you'll get in return is a nice comfy body bag."

"And that would totally clash with my boots and bustier." Bo deadpanned.

"Bo, you have the biggest heart of anybody I've ever known. And very often your passion and impetuousness have served you well." Lauren leered playfully. "And it certainly can be very sexy at times." She turned serious again. "But this is one of those times when it can only lead to pointless bloodshed. I've only just found you, please don't be so cavalier with your life. If something happened to you I couldn't bear it!"

Bo looked at her love contritely as she finally realized what a frightening emotional rollercoaster Lauren had been subjected to because of her rash behavior. She tenderly stroked Lauren's hair and caressed her cheek. "I'm so sorry for what I put you through, baby. I'm an impulsive ass."

"Sweetie, self-flagellation is never useful. Just do your best to learn from it and move on. In other words – shut up and kiss me."

And Bo happily did just that. Repeatedly.

FIN


	5. Confrontations

**.**

**Confrontations**

**.**

**Setup**: Season 1, episode 10, _The Mourning After_. Bo visits Lauren in the lab to pick up an autopsy report. They have a tense confrontation about the 'spy bang,' when they slept together for the first time and Bo found out that Lauren had been sent by the Ash. Backstory is all canon up to this point. Unoriginal dialogue owned by Showcase is in bold italics.

**_"_****_Also, she had sex, about an hour prior to her death. Appears consensual."_**

**_"_****_Not so sure I trust your judgment on sexual matters."_**

**_"_****_Pardon?"_**

**_"_****_I mean, let's say hypothetically, that one party felt the connection was real, and then found out the other was just manipulating them into bed to impress their controlling asshat of a boss."_**

"Bo, I know that's what it looked like, but it's not how it happened. This has been a train wreck of misunderstandings."

"Oh, it's a train wreck all right. Apparently caused by _human_ error." Bo dismissively tossed the autopsy folder on the counter, but before she could turn to leave, Lauren caught her by the wrist.

"Bo."

Bo angrily twisted out of her grip. "_WHAT?_" She practically growled.

"I'm sorry you're so angry, I'm sorry that you feel betrayed, and I hate that I've lost your trust. But –"

"Save it. I already got your damn voicemails." Bo's voice was full of bitterness, but she felt her resolve wavering as she looked into Lauren's watery eyes, which made her even angrier – at her own weakness. She wanted to turn and march out in a huff right then, to have the last word, to hurt Lauren with her cold disdain; but instead she cursed herself for hesitating a few seconds too long, giving Lauren another opportunity to get under her skin.

"Bo, worst of all I am just utterly _heartsick_ that you think our night together was a meaningless game to me. It wasn't. The connection _was_ real. And it meant more to me than you'll ever know." The tears finally spilled on to Lauren's cheeks, but she was determined to hold back her sobs until after Bo left. "If you ever need anything, or want to talk, you know where to find me. But I won't bother you again. I'll arrange for a nurse to administer your injections." Before Bo had a chance to throw more hurtful words in her face, Lauren turned and walked to her office and shut the door behind her so she could fall apart in privacy.

Bo was momentarily stunned – by Lauren's revelation as well as her speedy exit. She felt the first hints of regret and guilt seep into her consciousness, but quickly willed herself to snap out of it. _I will not let her emotionally manipulate me again._ Bo resolutely hardened her heart again and took off for the Dal to pick up Kenzi for a client meeting.

But as the saying goes, 'the lady doth protest too much.' Somewhere in the depths of Bo's unconscious mind she knew that it was taking far too much effort to convince herself that Lauren's confession was disingenuous. All the way to the Dal she was haunted by the vision of Lauren looking so hollow and completely broken.

Bo was just about to go inside the Dal when she involuntarily stopped in her tracks outside the door. She shook her head and just stood there with her eyes clamped shut, jaw clenched, and both hands balled into fists as she struggled with her warring emotions. After a couple of minutes, Bo's anger begrudgingly surrendered. "Dammit!" Before she was even aware she had made a decision, Bo found herself back in the Camaro and speeding toward the Light compound.

When Bo arrived back at the lab, there was no sign of Lauren. She glanced over at Lauren's office and noticed the door was closed, but she could see light coming from under it. Bo walked right in without knocking, startling Lauren out of her nearly catatonic state. Her face was red and splotchy, her eyes bloodshot, and her desk was covered with wads of used tissues.

Lauren's obvious fragility tugged at Bo's heart, but she was too stubborn to drop her steely bravado just yet. She closed the door, turned back to Lauren and defiantly crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Talk." she demanded curtly.

Lauren stared up at Bo in wide-eyed shock. She never imagined that she would see Bo again so soon; all of the things she had wanted to say were on the tip of her tongue, but they were a jumbled mess. Lauren grabbed a fresh tissue and blew her nose. She looked back up at Bo and swallowed hard.

"I'm not even sure where I should start."

"Why don't you start with how your pimp sent you off to fuck the succubus so he could protect his good buddy Vex." Bo internally winced at her own viciousness.

Lauren looked down at her desk and breathed deeply in an effort to keep her composure as Bo's words cut her to the bone. "Did you come back here for answers or just to be cruel?" she asked quietly. Her tone was wounded and vulnerable, and not at all sarcastic or confrontational. And it created the first crack in Bo's armor.

Bo closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to rein in her temper. "You're right, that was uncalled for." She pulled up a chair and sat down so she wasn't towering over Lauren – she looked small enough already. "Just start from the beginning."

Lauren wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "The Ash summoned me and told me that you were planning to avenge the deaths of Lou and her children. He said if you killed Vex, then the Dark would kill you. I was alarmed and asked what I should do. The Ash said he needed time to negotiate with the Morrigan – and yes, he did tell me to keep you 'distracted,' but he left that up to interpretation."

Lauren could tell that Bo was starting to seethe again, but surprisingly she stayed quiet and instead just held the arms of her chair in a white-knuckled grip.

"I was really worried for you and I also knew that a confrontation with Vex could start a war, and obviously I didn't want any more bloodshed. But I also did some snooping around to find out more about Vex. When I found out what kind of Fae he is and what he's capable of, my worry turned to blind terror. It doesn't matter how brave, strong, or determined you are, nobody fights a Mesmer and lives. I knew that if you went up against Vex he would turn you into a helpless puppet and make you violently kill yourself with just a wave of his hand – and he wouldn't even have to be near you to do it. The next morning I was so caught off guard that I stumbled all over myself trying to explain and I only made it worse. After you left I was absolutely frantic. I swallowed my pride and ran to Dyson. I swear to you Bo, if Dyson hadn't gotten to you before Vex did, you would not be alive and standing here."

"Yeah well, he didn't. I was already fighting Vex when he showed up."

"You actually _fought_ with Vex? How is that even possible?"

"Trick gave me a special sword that protects the user from corruption. So I guess it protected me from Vex's influence."

"I've never heard of a weapon that can do that. I honestly thought you were running off to your own execution. My god Bo, you have no idea how lucky you were to have it!"

Bo looked away and sighed in frustration. "I do actually." She didn't know why she was telling Lauren all of this since it obviously proved that she was right to think Bo couldn't handle Vex. "Before I could draw the sword he already had control of my knife. He could've killed me in one blow if he wanted, but the sick fuck wanted to make it slow and painful so he made me stab myself in the gut. Luckily he was only controlling one hand. I finally managed to use the other to grab the sword."

"Oh god!" Lauren gasped and covered her mouth in horror. "I was supposed to warn you about Vex's abilities the night before. Bo, I'm so sorry!" A fresh wave of tears flowed over her cheeks.

"Look, I'm the idiot who ran off to fight without bothering to find out what kind of power he had. But it's over and done and I'm all healed, so just don't worry about it. Besides, what I'm really angry about is that you used sex and emotional manipulation to keep me _distracted_."

"But I wasn't trying to manipulate you! Despite the Ash's creepy innuendo, _my_ agenda was simply to reason with you, not to seduce you or to deceive you. Once I found out about Vex, I thought I could make you come to your senses if you understood how deadly and invincible a Mesmer is. Bo, I only went to your house because I care abou –"

Lauren abruptly stopped mid-sentence and looked up at the ceiling, exhaled forcefully, and chuckled sadly as new tears filled her eyes.

"What?" Bo demanded, sounding angrier than she intended. "You only went to my house because of what?"

"It's just…" Lauren shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment. "Oh, what the hell…" She shrugged in resignation and wiped away a few errant tears before she found her voice again. "You already think I'm a whore, so it's not as if I have any dignity left to salvage anyway. So I might as well be honest."

"Well yeah, considering honesty is the whole point of this conversation."

Despite feeling utterly pathetic, Lauren forced herself to look directly at Bo. "I went to your house because I _love_ you, Bo. I have for a while now. Being around you made me feel more alive and complete than I have in years – you awakened something in me that I thought had died a long time ago. I know that it's crazy and irrational and too fast, but I just couldn't help it despite my better judgment. Bo, I love you and I truly feared for your life. I went to your house so I could convince you to abandon your suicide mission. But we had barely started our conversation when you suddenly got up to leave. So I grabbed your hand to get you to sit back down and…and all it took was one look into your eyes, and my big speech about Fae wars and invincible Mesmers just evaporated into thin air. And I just…"

"You just what?" Bo asked softly. Her tone was unreadable, but her eyes were slightly watery.

"I don't know…it was the first time we had ever been completely alone, for once I didn't have a goddamned curfew, and you had been talking about wanting a normal human life and someone to live it with you, and…and in that instant, all my bottled up emotions just overwhelmed me and suddenly I was kissing you. It was one of the most irrational and impulsive things I've ever done in my life, but it came straight from my heart, Bo. And as much as I regret how everything got so fucked up between us, I will never regret making love to you."

It took all of Bo's mental energy to keep her expression neutral, but she couldn't stop the tears from finally sliding down her face. Bo's eyes had been helplessly locked on Lauren's from the moment she declared her love, but Bo broke eye contact once her own tears began to fall; she wasn't ready to let Lauren see her vulnerable yet.

After a painfully awkward silence, Bo finally stood up. "I – I have to go." There was no venom in her voice; she just couldn't think of what else she could say that wouldn't make her lose her composure. Without looking back, Bo left the office and quietly closed the door behind her, once again leaving Lauren alone with her tears.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Bo finally dragged herself into the Dal to pick up Kenzi, who was nursing a bottle of vodka and chatting with Trick. Bo had been in a daze since she left Lauren's office and had lost all sense of time; as she trudged over to the bar, she mentally winced as she realized how late she was.<p>

"BoBo, where the hell have you been? And why wouldn't you answer my texts?" Kenzi finally noticed how defeated and disheveled Bo Looked. "And why do you look like shit?"

"Good to see you, Bo." Trick greeted warmly. "I'm glad we didn't have to send out a search party."

"Hey Trick. Come on Kenz, we have to get going so I can go grovel to our client. I'll answer questions later."

"I already talked to Colette and told her you got held up tracking down a lead. I didn't know how long you would be gone so I rescheduled for tomorrow morning."

"Shit, I'm sorry. I totally suck. But thanks for covering for me." Bo wearily climbed onto the barstool next to her BFF, then she smirked and raised an eyebrow. "But I guess it's just as well, because you pretty much reek like a distillery Kenz."

"Oh please. I'm still perfectly sober. Ok, well maybe a little buzzed. But this is _so_ not about me. Considering you look like a kicked puppy, I think you're the one in need of libation."

"So, let me guess…" said Trick as he reached under the bar and brought out a bottle of green liquor. "…this is a Buckthorn moment, isn't it?"

Bo chuckled and rolled her eyes. "You guys know me far too well. Hit me with the hooch, barkeep."

Kenzi waited until Bo had knocked back two shots before she questioned her bestie again. "So Bo-dacious, are you gonna tell us what you've been up to for the last couple hours?"

"Lauren."

"Shit! Well that explains the sweatiness, rumpled clothes, and bad hair. You two had angry, skanky frenemy sex, didn't you?"

"You know, I really should get back to polishing those glasses! I'll leave the bottle with you. Enjoy ladies!" Trick made a hasty exit before he could get trapped in a conversation about his granddaughter's sex life.

"No! No sex! We just talked…but it kinda messed with my head. So I just needed to go do something to unscramble my brain and purge some of the bullshit."

"What kind of something?"

Bo grinned sheepishly. "I went back to that abandoned car we smashed up and I smashed it up some more. Exhausting, but fairly cathartic."

"Oh my god, what did that ho-bag bitch say to you?"

Bo sighed heavily. "That's the thing, Kenz." She poured herself another shot and quickly knocked it back. "What messed with my head was finding out that she's _not_ a ho-bag bitch. And that I'm a hot-headed idiot."

"Bullshit. She spy-banged you for the goddamned _Ash_! Don't you dare let her pull your emotional puppet strings and make you take the blame for this mess."

"Kenzi, chill. It's not that simple. It really _wasn't_ like that at all. And I'm not going into the details because it wouldn't be right to talk about Lauren's personal stuff, ok? But we had a long talk about what really happened, and she was right, I jumped to conclusions and I really didn't know the whole story. Hell, I probably didn't _want_ to know the whole story, because it made being angry easier."

"But she broke your heart."

"No, I did that to myself by thinking the worst and refusing to listen to her." Bo sighed regretfully. "And in the process _I_ broke _her_ heart. And I'm not sure how I can put it back together."

"So you're not mad at her anymore?"

"No, I'm not. But she doesn't know that yet. I just ran out of there like a coward because my head was swimming and I was scared of my own feelings. I had no reason to be mad at her anymore, but yet I still had all this anger in me, and it was all really confusing. So I visited the junk car instead."

"And did the junk car impart any wisdom while you were beating the living shit out of it? Do you know what you're really angry about?"

"Pretty much everything in my life that's out of my control, that makes me feel powerless. Not knowing where I come from, running into dead ends trying to find out, I couldn't save Lou, I couldn't get any information or justice from Vex, Dyson's mixed signals, the Fae and their traditions always trying to control my life and my choices, and angry at myself for hurting Lauren by being so damned bull-headed. She's really devastated, Kenz."

"Well BoBo, unlike everything else on that long list of suckage, you being bull-headed and hurting your girl is not something you're powerless to fix. You can't take it back, but you can try to make it better. Then the rest is up to her."

* * *

><p>It had been a long, draining day at the lab and Lauren couldn't get home soon enough. She just wanted a hot bath, and enough good wine to drown her sorrows, so she could actually get some real sleep for a change. As she turned down the hallway towards her apartment she was startled to see someone sitting on the floor outside her door. Whoever it was, they were cast in shadow due to several burned out light bulbs. She stopped in her tracks as she tried to decide whether to keep walking, leave and wait them out, or call security. As Lauren squinted down the hallway, the stranger stood up and faced her. Lauren still couldn't see a face, but she easily recognized Bo's silhouette. <em>Shit!<em>

Lauren debated just walking away. She had had her fill of heartbreak and humiliation today. But yet she was so close to that hot bath and wine. _Dammit, this is my home. I won't be intimidated._ Bo hadn't moved or said anything; she just waited. Lauren finally took a deep breath and walked purposefully to her apartment door.

"Why are you here, Bo?" Lauren asked as she neared her apartment. "How much more do I have to hurt until you're satisfied?" Bo still didn't respond. When Lauren arrived at her door she stood toe-to-toe with Bo and looked into her red-rimmed, watery eyes. "Bo, what do you want from m –"

Lauren's voice was immediately muffled as she felt the gentle pressure of soft lips on her own. She tensed up from the shock, but within a few moments her body realized that she was finally home again, in Bo's warm embrace. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as she was reacquainted with her lover's touch. They held each other tighter and tighter as their sensual kisses deepened with their increasing passions.

In an uncharacteristic display of self-restraint, Bo gently pulled back from their kiss so she could look directly at Lauren. Bo stroked a lock of blonde hair framing Lauren's face and then caressed her cheek. "I have been such an ass. I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you, Lauren. And I have no idea where or how we go from here. But you need to know, I love you too."

Lauren's teary face lit up brightly with Bo's declaration. "I love you, Bo. So much. Thank you for coming back to me." She placed a tender but chaste kiss on Bo's lips, and then eased out of their embrace so she could find her keys and unlock the door.

"Bo my love, the 'wheres' and the 'hows' can wait." With a coy smile, Lauren opened the door and ushered Bo inside. "Let's just focus on tonight."

FIN


	6. Ground Rules

.

**Ground Rules**

.

**Setup**: Season 3, Episode 4, _Fae-de to Black_. Bo and Lauren finally accept that Bo must feed off others, so they discuss some ground rules. I think the show shouldn't have stopped with the Dyson rule - more rules are needed if Lauren is going to keep her sanity. Unoriginal dialogue from the show belongs to Showcase, and is in bold italics.

**Note to hard-core doccubus shippers:** This story is written within the context of the show, in which Bo is incapable of being sexually monogamous. Therefore it refers to Bo feeding and having sex with others. Nothing explicit; this is just a conversation. But if the very idea of Bo not being sexually monogamous totally freaks you out, you might want to skip this one.

**_"_****_I love you."_**

**_"_****_I love you too."_**

**_"_****_But being a doctor, I know I'm not enough for you."_**

**_"_****_No, don't say that."_**

**_"_****_You're a succubus, Bo. And we both tried to pretend that it wouldn't be an issue, but it is. And for some reason, the shots aren't working anymore and…"_**

**_"_****_So?"_**

**_"_****_So…you have to start feeding…off others."_**

"But can you really live with that?"

"I don't really have a choice." Lauren's watery eyes finally overflowed. "Because I won't choose between loving you and you being healthy and strong. I have to have both. The only other choice I can make is I either come to terms with you having sex with other people, or we just can't be together, even though I'll never stop loving you. You feeding off others is the least painful option."

"But I don't want our relationship to be painful for you at all. Lauren, baby, what can I do to make this easier for you? Is there anything I can do to help you cope besides just telling you how much I love you? To always remind you that you are the only one who will ever have my heart?"

"There's really nothing you can do, Bo. It's just something I have to make peace with." Lauren sniffled and tried to rub the tears from her eyes. "Wait. There is something."

"I'll do anything, I swear."

Lauren looked Bo directly in the eye. "I really need you to stop having sex with Dyson. He's not just a random feed, you two used to be more than that. There's still an emotional attachment there of some kind. And when you add sex to the mix, it just…it just really hurts. I'm sorry, but I just can't help it."

"Oh baby, don't apologize for your feelings, it's totally reasonable! Ok, so no Dyson. I promise. Lauren, I am so sorry I let you down. He offered an ambulance instead and I took the easy way out. I just got scared."

"He did? I admit, I'm surprised." Lauren looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "How about this. If the injury is so bad that you're not able to go out and find someone else then take the ambulance and we'll get you stabilized enough at the hospital so you can go find someone to feed on." She chuckled ironically. "Now that I think about it, I would actually rather bring you a stranger _myself_ than have you feed off Dyson. I know that sounds really petty, and I don't want you to have to suffer longer than necessary, but Dyson…it just hurts too much."

Bo gently held Lauren's face in her hands and gave her a tender, lingering kiss. "No more Dyson, I swear. Now what else can I do? Just name it."

"I…I don't know. I mean…I don't want to make you jump through a bunch of hoops, I don't want you to feel like you should be ashamed of who you are, like there's something wrong with you. That wouldn't be fair to you."

"Don't you worry about me, ok babe? Dealing with my non-monogamy is a huge, big-ass unfairness to you. I'm serious, I will do anything to ease your pain. I _need_ you to be happy. So as for jumping through a bunch of hoops – that sounds as if you already have some hoops in mind?"

Lauren smiled sheepishly. "Ok. To be honest, I really hate it when you feed at the clubhouse, in the bed that we share. Even though you change the sheets, if the feed is recent, it makes my skin crawl and it can be really hard to put it out of my mind. Frankly, I'd like to get a whole new mattress for that matter."

"Check, no feeding at the clubhouse and get a new mattress. Great sweetie, let's keep going. I mean it, I'll do anything! Actually, hang on a sec, I should be writing this down. Do you have a notebook?"

Lauren grinned at Bo's enthusiasm. "Of course." She went over to her desk and grabbed a legal pad and a pen. "Do you want to move to the couch? Much more comfy."

"Sure sweetie."

Once they settled on the couch, Bo grabbed the pen and wrote 'Succubus Ground Rules' in big bold letters at the top of the page. Lauren smirked, finding Bo's eagerness utterly endearing.

"Ok, no Dyson, no feeding at the clubhouse, get a new mattress…what else?"

"If you don't do it at the clubhouse, any ideas for an alternative? It's not like we can afford a motel all the time and I don't want you doing it in a back alley somewhere."

"Um, we could compromise and put an air mattress in the basement?"

"It's kind of gross down there, though. Um…" Lauren snorted and rolled her eyes. "Call me crazy, but I think I'd rather you do it here instead of the clubhouse."

"Are you _serious_? You're right, that is crazy." Bo said incredulously.

"No, hear me out. We spend more nights sleeping at the clubhouse than here. I like the air mattress idea. But I wouldn't want it in either of our bedrooms. But you can't exactly set up an air mattress in your living room because of Kenzi. If you came here, set up the mattress down here in the living room, and when you're done, deflate it and put it in the storage closet, and you'll also have the shower here so you can freshen up before you come home. Then I don't have to deal with you smelling like someone else either. And if we do spend the night here, nobody would have used the bedroom and the air mattress is out of sight, out of mind. And at least we'll have one place that is a total no feeding zone." She smiled coyly. "Except for me of course."

"That sounds like a workable plan – but are you _sure_ you're ok with me feeding in your own home?"

"It's weird, but if we do it this way at least it won't be up in my face. Besides, this place belongs to the Fae. I don't really consider it _my_ home."

"Ok sweetie." Bo scribbled the new rule on the list. "Only use air mattress at Lauren's apartment. How about I put a sock on the door or something in case you make an unannounced visit to get some of your stuff. At least that way you'll know it's not safe to come in."

"Yeah that should work. I will still need to come over here from time to time."

"Ok cool. I should make a 'do not disturb' sign to put on the doorknob like at hotels." Bo chuckled lightly as she finished writing her notes. "Ok, keep it coming. Any other ideas?"

Lauren sighed heavily. "If I think about it too much, one thing that creeps me out is wondering if every new Fae I meet is someone you've had sex with. I think that it would be easier for me to deal with if they had no memory of your, uh, encounter. Could you use your thralling power to make them forget?"

"Actually, yeah I think I could do that. It might take some practice before I get proficient at it, but that's a really good idea. Erasing a memory is almost as good as erasing history."

"Bo, at the risk of sounding overly needy or clingy…but since I can't have sexual monogamy from you, it makes emotional monogamy all the more important. So it's important to me that you don't put yourself in a position where you could develop emotional attachments. So I need you to avoid repeat customers. Even if they forget, you won't. So once you've fed on someone, they're off the menu. I could handle it occasionally if it's completely unavoidable or a very long time till you feed on them again. Oh and for god's sake don't do it with any of our friends or close colleagues."

"Ew, of course not! I mean, up until now Dyson was the only one in our circle of friends. But that's never gonna happen again. Um, what about a non-sexual feed? Like if I'm on a job and I need a power boost? It's not as effective as a sexual feed but it really helps in a pinch."

"Yeah I can handle that. But if you're working, obviously you don't want to mess with a colleague's memory while you're trying to hunt bad guys. So if it's someone who's not thralled and is helping voluntarily, all you need is an open mouth – so can you please not kiss them?"

"Of course babe. Absolutely." Bo enthusiastically scribbled more notes.

"Are you really ok about this? Or is it too restrictive? I don't want you feeling resentful later because you feel whipped or on a leash or whatever."

"Oh, baby." Bo put down the notepad and pulled Lauren in for a slow sensual kiss. "I am one hundred percent ok. I'm actually really happy about this! It gives me peace of mind to have a system that allows me to get the chi I need without running the risk of hurting you. I don't ever want to do that to you again." Bo gently kissed her girlfriend on the forehead. "Anything else you want to add to the list?"

"I can't think of anything else. But like I said, the emotional monogamy is essential, so we need to make an effort to always communicate our needs and feelings. If I ever feel like you're pulling away or getting distant, I'm going to get scared and paranoid. It's going to take a while to completely shake the constant insecurity so please be patient. But thank you for talking to me about Dyson and coming up with these ground rules with me. If you promise to do your best to follow these guidelines then I promise to do my best to let go of my fear and jealousy and simply trust that you love me."

"I promise. I absolutely promise. I love you, Lauren."

"I love you too, Bo." Lauren stroked Bo's hair and tenderly caressed her cheek. "But I need you to do something else for me."

"Anything."

"Take me to bed and make love to me until I forget about what we had to talk about tonight. All I want on my mind is you and me."

"It would be my pleasure." Bo leered at her girlfriend and stood up from the couch, offering her hand to Lauren to help her up. As soon as Lauren was standing, she let out a playful squeal as Bo suddenly scooped Lauren up in her strong arms and effortlessly carried her lover to bed.

FIN


	7. Taking the Spy Out of the Bang

.

**Taking the Spy out of the Bang**

.

**Setup**: Season 1, Episode 8, _Vexed_. Yet another variation of the spy-bang incident. Lauren visits Bo at the behest of the Ash to try and stop her from taking revenge on Vex. Canon up until this point, but could also be a follow-up to _Scientific Curiosity_ **or** _No Dogs Allowed_ without changing the canon in between. Unoriginal dialogue owned by Showcase is in bold italics.

.

**_"_****_You barely know this woman, why are you taking it so personally?"_**

**_"_****_Because we both want the same things. No matter how miserable I was before you told me that I was Fae, at least I had hope back then that I could live a normal human life one day if I wanted to."_**

**_"_****_But do you want a normal life? The picket fence and the kids and –" _**

**_"_****_I want to know that it's my choice to make, not theirs. I mean Lou made her choice, and look at what they did to her. And if I just let that go, if I let them get away with it, what chance do I have at living a life of my own? And who would want to live it with me?" _**

"Actually, I get it, I really do." Lauren put her wine glass on the coffee table as she gathered her thoughts. "You're such a brave and passionate person, Bo. It's not surprising that you would be determined to seek justice for Lou, stranger or not." Lauren smiled genuinely and put her hand on Bo's knee. "You have such a big heart." Bo returned a small, shy smile, clearly appreciating the compliment. "But what you're also saying is that if you don't go after this guy, then your own choices would be taken away, that you'll always be looking over your shoulder wondering if your choices will be punished, right?"

Bo quickly swallowed a sip of wine. "Exactly!" She gestured enthusiastically and returned her glass of wine to the coffee table. "I can't let them get away with it or I'll never really feel free."

"If you take this guy out, do you think that will stop the Dark Fae from doing it to someone else?" Lauren's tone was soft and thoughtful, as she tried to play devil's advocate without sounding patronizing or judgmental.

"Well, at least it will make them think twice!" Bo groused. "If anything it will just make me feel better that I didn't just rollover and do nothing!"

Lauren chuckled affectionately. "Yes, I expect it would. Taking a stand like that is really validating, makes you feel powerful – so I can understand the appeal." She gazed at Bo with gentle, sincere eyes. "But realistically, it wouldn't actually affect the degree of freedom you have. So it's more of a symbolic victory, isn't it?"

"Hey, who's side are you on?" Bo asked with a grin, trying to disguise her question as simple teasing. But Lauren knew there was genuine concern and suspicion behind Bo's words. "Aren't you outraged by what they did?"

Lauren placed her hands on both of Bo's shoulders to insure that her friend was looking directly at her. "Bo, I'm _always_ on your side." she declared with conviction. "_ALWAYS_." Satisfied she still held Bo's full attention, Lauren returned her hands to her lap. "Of course the deaths of those children is an outrage, a morally repugnant atrocity! I totally understand the emotion behind your motivation."

"I think I hear a 'but' coming." Bo grumbled.

"But…" Lauren smirked, trying to keep their conversation light and friendly instead of adversarial. "…angry, righteous passion isn't enough, Bo. Before you go into battle you're supposed to also look at it critically and logically, right? Know your enemy, planning the attack from all the different angles, having various contingency plans, that sort of thing? You shouldn't go running in half-cocked, guns a-blazing and end up getting killed because you're not prepared. You need to have a strategy right? So do you know what you're going to do when you find this guy?"

Bo had to admit, Lauren was making a lot of sense. But she wasn't so sure she liked it. "Well I guess first I have to find out where he lives and works, what his routine is. Find out what his power is, and when he's alone I attack when he least expects it."

"That's a good start." Lauren paused to take a few more sips of her wine, so Bo took the opportunity to do the same. Lauren savored her last mouthful of wine while looking at Bo intently, trying to judge how receptive she might be to Lauren's arguments. "Bo, do you think it's possible to destroy the mafia by killing one hit man? If you kill a hit man what do you think the mafia's response would be? Answer honestly." She put her empty wine glass down and looked at Bo patiently. The questions weren't rhetorical; Lauren was genuinely interested in her answer.

"Why are you asking me this?" Bo asked suspiciously. "You're trying to stonewall me, like everyone else!" she accused. Bo stood up from the couch and stared sternly down at Lauren. "You should know by now Lauren that no one tells me what to do."

"Bo, I'm not telling you what to do." Lauren said gently, hoping to diffuse Bo's sudden agitation. "I'm just trying to make sure you know what you're getting into so you can make an informed decision on how you want to handle this. Please Bo, just sit down and take a deep breath. We're just going to talk, ok?"

"Fine." Bo collapsed back onto the couch like a petulant child. If Lauren weren't afraid for Bo's life, she would have found it quite adorable.

"Ok, so back to the mafia. Seriously, what would happen if you went after the mafia by killing a hit man or just _attempting_ to kill a hit man? What would they do?"

"I don't know." Bo pouted. She knew where this was going and she didn't like it one bit. "But this is diff–"

"Bo, I'm pretty sure you do know." Lauren interrupted, though she ran the risk of pissing off Bo more. "They would put a hit out on you. And if you kill the next hit man, they will just send another and another. You would spend the rest of your life running and looking over your shoulder, always fearful and paranoid. And most likely your life would be pretty short anyway because they will eventually find you and kill you."

Bo was clearly becoming more frustrated and had stopped looking at her, so Lauren gently grasped her hand and waited for Bo to make eye contact before she continued.

"Bo, sweetie, is that really the life you want? You would lose the freedom to live your life as you see fit, which is the opposite of what you're trying to accomplish. And I'm telling you that the Dark Fae is many times larger and more powerful than the mafia." Lauren squeezed Bo's hand, imploring her to listen. "Believe me, I know how the Fae world works better than you. I'm telling you if you go after this guy you will be killed or you will be a fugitive for the rest of your short life, until they finally hunt you down and _then_ kill you."

Bo just sat there and fumed quietly. After a few moments she blurted, "I could make it look like an accident."

"I can assure you, the Dark would thoroughly investigate it. You'd have to be some sort of forensic genius to pull it off, and regularly watching CSI doesn't count. But if you succeed, and it's perceived as accidental and not retaliation, you're not sending any message. The Dark Fae will just continue with business as usual and will brutally punish the next person that steps out of line. So what's the point?"

"So you're trying to tell me it's futile." Bo spat, an angry scowl marring her flawless face.

Lauren sat back and stared at the ceiling, sighing heavily. _Now for the fun part_. "There's actually more to it than just futility."

"What does that mean?"

"Bo, I need to tell you something but you've got to promise not to freak out. Don't shoot the messenger, ok?"

That immediately set off Bo's alarm bells. "What? What do you know? Have you been holding out on me! Lauren, what's going on?"

"Remember the part about not freaking out? Just calm down so I can tell you."

Lauren's soothing voice quickly calmed Bo – for the moment. "Ok… I'm sorry I'm so jumpy." She took a couple of deep breaths to keep her emotions in check.

Lauren reached out and gently grasped both of Bo's hands. "I understand you're all wound up, I know this is important to you – but you need to listen. Somehow the Ash found out what you're up to, and he knows who you're looking for – and he's not happy about it."

"The Ash can kiss my ass, I don't take orders from him – and it's none of his business." Bo let go of Lauren and reached for her glass, quickly gulping down the remaining wine. "And why does he care? Why would he want to protect a Dark Fae assassin? Did he say who it is? Is he involved in some big conspiracy or something?"

"Bo, this guy is very high on the Dark Fae food chain. If an attempt were made on his life or if he were actually killed, it could start a _war_." Bo looked up at Lauren, her face a mixture of anger and shock. She obviously hadn't thought of that particular consequence.

Lauren was encouraged by Bo's sudden attention, and made sure she didn't waste it. "And I don't mean a political war, Bo. A real war, carefully hidden under human society's nose, but with lots of bloodshed and dead bodies. I know that sounds insane, but that's how the Fae world works. You know, they have the longest lifespan of any sentient species, yet in many ways, they never grow up, it only takes a flimsy excuse for them to start killing each other." She chuckled at the perverse irony.

"Bo, this is so much bigger than just you risking your own life. If you're really looking for justice, can you justify letting more innocent people die so you can get it? Both sides would suffer casualties, and there will be humans caught in the crossfire as well, although their deaths will be expertly covered up, I'm sure. Bo, your quest for justice could lead to a bloodbath, and that is very much the Ash's business. His involvement isn't personal, Bo. He's looking out for the lives of his people, even if it means protecting a Dark Fae psychopath to insure their safety."

Bo leaned back into the couch and crossed her arms defiantly and stared down at the coffee table. Lauren watched her carefully, as the furrow in Bo's brow deepened while she pondered the consequences of giving in to her thirst for revenge. "So the Ash isn't secret buddies with this guy? He just wants to prevent war?"

"I assure you that the Ash has nothing but disdain for the Dark. He just wants to prevent bloodshed. But he did say one more thing and I'm not sure what he meant, but you have a right to know. He said he didn't want you dead because he needs to know more about you. I don't know if he means your lineage or something else. So yes he's obviously very nosy about your business. But the bottom line is, he doesn't want you dead. And for that matter, neither do I." Lauren boldly reached out and stroked Bo's cheek. "You mean a lot to me, so this whole situation has me worried sick."

Bo was briefly hypnotized by Lauren's compassionate eyes and her delicate touch. "You're so sweet." Bo grinned sheepishly. "And as much as it pisses me off, I can understand why you're scared." Bo looked down at her lap and shook her head. "So my hands are really tied, huh?" she asked timidly.

"Ultimately, you have to draw your own conclusions. But it doesn't look good. I know I can't tell you what to do. But yes, Bo, the way I see it your hands are tied and no good can come from you seeking revenge. Too many lives are at stake, especially your own."

Bo frowned and clenched her jaw as she let it all sink in. She finally threw her arms up in exasperation. "Gaaaah! My brain is telling me it's a bad idea, but I can't turn off this…this fire in my heart!" Bo jumped up from the couch and started pacing randomly. "Every instinct is telling me to annihilate this guy! And nothing pisses me off more than being powerless!"

"I know it's hard. Bo, your empathy, selflessness, and passion of conviction are all such admirable qualities, but this is one of those times when you should put them aside and listen to your brain! You've got to choose your battles so you can live to fight another day." Lauren had sat up on her knees so she could see beyond the couch and follow Bo's movements as she stomped around the clubhouse. Bo was starting to feel overheated from the combination of frustration and alcohol. She gruffly took a bottle of water out of the fridge and resumed her angry pacing.

"Considering how demoralizing powerlessness is to you, there's one more thing you need to consider. Bo, I know what kind of Fae this guy is. I did a little nosing around after the Ash talked to me."

Bo stopped in her tracks. "You actually know who he is? And you're only telling me now? That's a bit underhanded, Lauren! Who is he, dammit!"

"Bo…Bo, look at me. As much as it scares me, I know I can't stop you from going after him. But I needed you to know what you were getting yourself into. If I'd told you his name before, you would've run right out that door before we even had this conversation, and you would have been totally unprepared. Now please, you need to hear this. You need to understand what his power is. He's a Mesmer, and a Mesmer cannot be fought."

Bo took a long swig of her water. "So what is that supposed to mean?" She walked over to the couch and sat on the arm opposite of Lauren.

"I mean, a Mesmer is one of the most invincible species of Fae. To try to fight him would be suicide. He has the power to take _your_ power, your free will. How do you think he got Lou to drown her own children? No amount of threats could make a mother do that. With just a wave of his hand, he took control of her body as if she were nothing more than an oversized puppet. And he doesn't put you in some sort of mindless trance. You are fully aware, trapped inside your own body, completely _powerless_, as he makes you commit atrocities, or simply kill yourself with your own weapon. And he doesn't have to be near you to do it – you would never get close enough to hurt him before he takes over your body. Don't you see, Bo? Strength, bravery, and passion are irrelevant! There is no fighting a Mesmer. Go near him, and you'll be volunteering for execution."

Bo just stared at the floor and took a couple gulps of water. "Shit." She got up to stomp around again. "Shit…shit, shit, _FUCK_!"

Lauren jolted as Bo violently threw her water bottle across the kitchen into the sink, where it bounced back onto the floor from the force of the throw. Bo heaved a huge sigh and went to retrieve the bottle. Luckily Bo had put the cap back on before she threw it. She put the bottle on the counter and just stood there, both hands gripping the edge as she leaned her weight on her outstretched arms.

Lauren finally got up and joined Bo in the kitchen, giving her a comforting pat on her shoulder and gently rubbed her upper back. "I'm sorry. I know it sucks."

"So who is this guy anyway?"

Lauren turned Bo to face her, and began rubbing up and down her arms. "What are you going to do if I tell you? If I tell you, are you going to ignore everything we talked about and go running off to get killed? The only good reason for telling you would be so you know who it is you need to stay away from. Are you going to make me regret telling you? Can you give me your word?"

Bo closed her eyes and exhaled forcefully, trying to center herself. "I promise…you won't regret it. I've obviously lost this round. But if I have to be satisfied with just hating his guts, I might as well know his name. But I won't go after him, you have my word."

"Oh thank god!" Lauren pulled Bo into a desperate hug. "Bo, I've been so frightened for you, it's been tearing me apart! Thank you, thank you for talking to me." She gave Bo a final squeeze before releasing her, but Lauren continued holding her hands after they pulled apart.

"His name is Vex, he owns several nightclubs, both Fae and human. Please, just stay away from him, I need you to be safe, ok? Now that you know, if you go off and get yourself killed, I will never forgive myself! And if war breaks out, the Ash would never forgive me as well." _Oops. Probably shouldn't have said that. Damn._

"Don't worry, I get it." Lauren mentioning the Ash drew Bo's eyes to her necklace. She traced her fingers over the Ash's mark Lauren wore around her neck. "Trick told me what your pendant means."

"Oh." Lauren pulled back and tried to adjust her shirt to cover up the pendant again. "It's not exactly something I'm proud of."

"So the Ash, he would punish you if I had gone after Vex, if you didn't convince me?"

Lauren shrugged her shoulders, laughing ironically. "That's just it. He didn't want me to convince you, his orders were to distract you. He needs time to negotiate with the Morrigan to send Vex away. I could get in serious trouble for what I've done – I wasn't supposed to tell you any of this. But I took a leap of faith hoping you'd make the right decision once you knew all the facts."

Bo frowned as she tried to process this new information. Lauren was sent here, they talked all evening, but the Ash didn't want her to know anything. "So what did he mean by _distracting_ me?"

Lauren stared at Bo meaningfully. Lauren thought she would have figured it out. _Oh, well._ "What do you think? What's the best way to keep a succubus busy? He basically told me to seduce you."

Bo recoiled in horror. "That _PIG_! He pimps you out _and_ expects you to go on a suicide mission? What is _wrong_ with these people? He honestly thinks he can just order you to fuck a deadly succubus like some sacrificial lamb? Holy shit, Lauren! We have to get you into hiding!"

Lauren gently cupped Bo's face in her hands. "Shhhh, it's ok, it's ok. No hiding necessary." Lauren moved her hands down to rub Bo's shoulders. "Yes Bo, he _is_ a pig, but I'm not expected to die. The reason he came and told me everything in the first place is because he figured out I had been helping you to control your hunger, so he knew I had a connection to you. Besides, I know you have enough control now, you just don't trust yourself yet. He wouldn't have ordered me to sleep with you if he thought it would kill me – if I died, I wouldn't be able to _distract_ you for very long, now would I?" Lauren giggled coquettishly, earning a slight grin from Bo and putting her at ease.

"I took a big risk by spilling my guts instead of distracting you with my feminine wiles. And not just because it might piss off the Ash. I was afraid that you might still decide to go after Vex even after you knew everything. Frankly, seducing you would have given me better odds of saving your life. It was a tough call."

"Gee, so why didn't you? Am I that hideous?" Bo teased.

"Well first of all, despite my servitude, I do still have a sliver of self-respect left. The Ash isn't my pimp and I'm nobody's whore."

"Of course not! You know I was just kidding, right?" Bo was honestly worried that she had offended her friend, and Lauren just thought it was adorable.

Lauren grinned impishly and stroked a silky lock of Bo's hair. "I know you were kidding, Bo." Lauren caressed Bo's cheek and gazed into those beautiful chocolate eyes that never failed to make her heart flutter. "But I had another reason for disobeying the Ash."

Bo looked at her questioningly, but quietly waited for Lauren to continue. "I didn't want to share that experience with you if it was going to be tainted by deceit and manipulation. I needed to lay it all out on the table, because it's really important to me that you understand…" Lauren held Bo's gaze as she reached behind her neck and unclasped her pendant, then placed it on the counter.

"Understand what?" Bo's heart was starting to race. There was something magnetic in Lauren's eyes, and Bo was getting lost in them.

"Understand that the Ash has absolutely _nothing_ to do with _this_."Lauren leaned in confidently and kissed Bo tenderly on the lips. When Lauren pulled back, Bo had an entranced, bewildered look on her face. With a satisfied smirk, Lauren spoke before Bo had a chance to resist. "This is all _me, _Bo." She cradled Bo's face in her hands and slowly caressed, nipped, and licked Bo's lips, encouraging her to open her mouth so Lauren could caress Bo's tongue with her own. Bo groaned and instinctively responded, happily deepening the kiss as she wrapped her arms around the woman she had been longing for.

Their kissing grew in passion and desperation, as the emotions they had been holding in finally expressed themselves. They held each other tightly as they kissed themselves breathless. Bo abruptly came back to her senses when she felt her eyes shift to blue. She pulled away gently, so as not to startle Lauren. "I'm sorry," she whispered sadly, as she tried to regain control of her breathing. She looked away from Lauren, ashamed of her glowing eyes. "I…I want to, but we can't. I'm too dangerous."

Bo tried to step away with some dignity, but Lauren wouldn't relinquish her hold. "Bo, sweetie, look at me. Let me see those beautiful blue eyes." Bo reluctantly turned to face Lauren. Despite their ethereal blue glow, Lauren could see Bo's eyes were filled with unshed tears. "You're not dangerous, Bo. You're not a monster. You're ready, I promise. It's ok to trust yourself."

"Lauren, I…I've killed every human that I've ever been with! I can't risk losing you!"

"Bo, this is different. You are more in control now and you're also on medication. And I'm not just any human. Unlike every other human you've been with, my head is clear because you don't need to enthrall me, I know exactly who and what you are, I accept you completely, I understand your struggle, and I'm not afraid of you. We can go as slow as you need to. You'll be fine, I promise. You just need to prove to yourself you can do it." Lauren lovingly caressed Bo's face and stroked her hair. "And I want to be the one to help you through it."

Bo embraced Lauren tightly, resting her head on the doctor's shoulder. "Promise me you won't let me hurt you?" Bo sniffled softly and buried her face in Lauren's neck.

"I promise. Now kiss me again, Bo, and take me upstairs." Lauren grinned when Bo's lips finally returned to her, enveloping her in their soft, moist warmth. When their passions neared the boiling point again, they pulled apart and Bo led Lauren, by the hand, up the stairs and into her bedroom, where the madness of their lives fell away, just as they fell into each other's arms.

FIN

_Cue the steamy love scene… ;-)_


	8. Come Back to Me

A/N: Sorry it's been so long, folks! Had some real life interruptions, also a little writer's block, then I took an extended vacation to visit my family for the Thanksgiving holiday. But my muse came back and this is what I got. PLEASE review! :-)

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><p><strong>Come Back to Me<strong>

**Setup:** Season 1, Episode 1, _It's a Fae. Fae, Fae, Fae World_. Lauren and Bo meet for the first time! Yay! Canon up to this point. Bo has been kidnapped and brought before the Ash. So what happened between Lauren saying "come with me" and Bo willingly ending up naked on Lauren's exam table? Includes the rewrite of the exam scene as well, but I preserved the iconic line "My god, you're beautiful." (To cut that line would be heresy. :-P) Unoriginal dialogue owned by Showcase is in bold italics.

Bo: **_Hi. Yeah, hello? Could somebody please just tell me what the hell's going on here?_**

The Ash: **_Lauren, take her to the lab._**

The Morrigan: **_Grab her! _**(brawl ensues)

The Ash: **_ENOUGH! Lauren needs to examine the girl._**

Lauren: **_Please, come with me._**

Bo looked up at she strange blonde woman who gently held her arm, and instantly all of the fight drained out of her. She looked down at Bo with kind eyes and her voice was gentle, almost apologetic. Bo was still disoriented and worried about her fate, but she decided that allowing this woman to escort her to who-knows-where would still be a vast improvement over being cuffed to a chair surrounded by the goon squad.

Bo stood up and the blonde linked their arms and led her down a long hallway. Bo's hands were still cuffed behind her back, but the woman's grip on her arm was lax, friendly even. Bo sized her up and thought she could easily overpower this woman, even with cuffs on, but for all she knew, this quiet, striking woman would grow claws and fangs when threatened, just like her bearded kidnapper. Bo noticed they were headed straight for a door marked exit, but there was an armed guard standing next to it. If they were going outside, she could probably break away and make a run for it – assuming her escort didn't have claws and superhuman strength.

"So, uh…I assume you're Lauren?" Bo asked nonchalantly as she darted her eyes all around the marble-lined corridor.

"Oh yes, Lauren – that's me. It's nice to meet you. And what's your name?"

Bo was amused that Lauren sounded so…normal. She had asked the simple question as if she genuinely wanted to get to know Bo. If Bo weren't in handcuffs Lauren might as well have been a new neighbor, introducing herself with a warm casserole.

"Bo. So are you the good cop?"

"Pardon?"

"You know – good cop, bad cop? The bad cop roughs me up then the good cop butters me up. Sorry to disappoint, but I have nothing to confess."

"Oh no, I'm not a cop, and don't worry, you're not under arrest."

"Oh, so the handcuffs must be party favors then? Kinky. Look, I already got the memo that you aren't real cops. But I've been kidnapped, man-handled, a hood pulled over my head and then interrogated by some weird dude who sounds like the spawn of Darth Vader and Barry White. So I can appreciate that you're all Miss Sweetness and Light, but pardon me if I'm not very trusting."

Lauren had been trying to keep her expression neutral, but she couldn't help smiling at Bo's sarcastic humor and bad-ass attitude. She had no doubt that the bad-ass attitude had been legitimately earned, but there was something about Bo that was just… adorable. And hot. Very hot.

"Under the circumstances, your distrust is certainly understandable, Bo. But I'll do my best to change your mind about me."

Bo's heart raced as Lauren nodded for the guard to open the door, and then they stepped out into a large courtyard. She quickly scanned her surroundings and she noticed a space in between two buildings that was obscured by a hedge on the far side of the courtyard. She didn't see any more guards, so she planned to make a run for it when they got closer.

"By the way, if you try to ditch me there are armed guards surrounding this building and we're inside a heavily guarded, gated compound with a three meter high concrete barrier wall. And there are security cameras everywhere, so it really wouldn't be worth the effort."

_Shit…so was that supposed to be intimidating in a creepy, fake-friendly way, or was she actually giving me friendly advice? And why does she have to be so damn cute?_

"I am sorry about the man-handling and the handcuffs, though. That's not really my style, but for now my superiors think you're a flight risk and a threat to security. But that may change once we have more information."

"How am _I_ a threat? I'm the victim here! I was minding my own business and they grabbed me off the street!"

Lauren smirked at Bo's protestations. Even while whining and feigning innocence, Lauren still found Bo charming. "You were obviously brought to their attention because of the body you left in that elevator. Not the sort of thing that should be exposed to the public."

"I don't know anything about a body." Bo cringed internally; she knew she had blurted that out way too fast to be even the tiniest bit convincing.

Lauren chuckled at Bo's transparent lie. "Relax Bo, there's no need to deny it, I said you weren't under arrest. Our people have already taken care of it. The police will never know anything about you. We know it was just a feeding – but you were rather careless leaving your kill out in the open like that. You're actually lucky they found you instead of the police."

_A 'feeding?' 'My kill?' She's talking about me like I'm this week's animal guest on Jungle Jeeves._

"Where are you taking me?" Bo tried to sound intimidating with her demand, but Lauren's manner had been so disarming Bo knew that her own voice had betrayed her.

Lauren just continued to smile amicably. "To my lab. I have to give you a medical exam since you haven't been forthcoming about your species or clan."

"Gee, let's see, ten fingers, ten toes, walks on two legs, wicked fashion sense – I'm a person dammit not some monkey at the zoo! And what the hell is with this clan bullshit?"

"I never suggested you weren't a person, Bo. But for whatever reason, you've chosen not to disclose what you are or where you come from. So deny that all you want. But some facts are not in dispute so it's really pointless to play dumb."

"So what's not in dispute?"

Lauren rolled her eyes. _Fine, I'll play along._ "You're not human, you fed off that man, you killed him and you left his body in an elevator. And since you've been uncooperative, it's my job to figure out what kind of 'not-human' you are. Unless you'd like to change your story and tell me. Although at this point your denials haven't inspired much trust so I'm sure they would make me do the exam anyway even if you did start talking."

The bottom dropped out of Bo's stomach. "I'm not even _human_? I-I know I'm a freak, but I'm not even a human freak?" _I'm not human. I'm a what, not a who. I'm a thing._ "B-But how? I mean…" _Ohmigod Kenzi was right…_ "Am I an _alien_? Was I marooned on earth like baby Superman?"

Lauren couldn't contain her giggles. If this was an act, it was certainly entertaining. Yet she couldn't help but notice that Bo's bravado suddenly became more…vulnerable? Reaching their destination, Lauren turned to Bo as she opened the door to a new building. "You know Bo, if you really aren't lying, that would make you extremely rare…" she grinned slyly and raised a single eyebrow. "…and infinitely more interesting."

_Did she just flirt with me?_ Judging by the increasing amount of energy radiating from Lauren, Bo probably shouldn't have been surprised.

Meanwhile, Lauren was mentally slapping herself for accidentally dropping her professional demeanor, which was totally out of character for her. _Did I just flirt with her? Shit. If she is what I think she is, she can totally see through me._ Unfortunately Lauren had no control over her blushing. _Busted._

Bo smirked as she watched Lauren's embarrassment – and arousal – continue to escalate. She thought Lauren's obvious attraction to her might prove useful later, to help her to manipulate the situation to her advantage. They walked along quietly until they reached an elevator. Bo broke the awkward silence once they were inside. "So, uh, are you a real doctor or a creepy mad scientist?"

"I'm actually both, but minus the creepy, at least I hope so. You'll have to let me know if my bedside manner is unsettling. I assure you that's not my intention." Lauren looked at Bo with a beaming smile. "My official title is Chief Medical Officer and Director of Research. But you can call me Lauren, or Dr. Lewis if you prefer."

"So seriously, is this like a reverse-alien abduction? Is this a secret government agency that does experiments on extraterrestrials? Am I going to be…_probed_?"

"Well, if I suspected you were a Skunk Ape, I would have to examine your rectum to confirm the presence of scent glands." All the color drained from Bo's face. "But fortunately for you, I've already narrowed you down to a handful of species based on your kill's cause of death. And you are definitely not a Skunk Ape, so there will be no probing."

"Ok, that was gross. Thank you so much for the reassurance."

"Sorry, just a little Fae humor to lighten the mood." Before Bo could ask what Lauren meant by 'fay humor,' the elevator dinged and they stepped off onto the fifth floor, where most of the people milling about were wearing hospital scrubs. They stopped outside a pair of double doors with yet another armed guard. "I have a patient here for examination, so I need the cuffs removed, please."

The guard nodded and silently unlocked and removed Bo's handcuffs, then Lauren ushered her into the lab.

"Ok people, our patient is here, so I need you all to clear out for a while." As the lab staff started filtering out of the room, Lauren led Bo over to an exam table. "Hop up and have a seat, Bo." Lauren rummaged around in a cupboard until she found a fresh exam gown and placed it on the table.

"I'm going to take a blood sample first, then I'll need you to undress and put on the exam gown with the opening in the back. I apologize for the lack of privacy, I usually see patients in the hospital wing in a proper exam room, but since this is a rush job, I don't have time to wait for your blood test results."

Bo shrugged and climbed up on the table and held out her arm. "Knock yourself out, doc."

When Lauren finished collecting the blood sample, she attached a label to the vial and dropped it in her lab coat pocket. "Ok Bo, I'm going to go get started processing your sample while you get changed into the gown."

Bo smirked as she picked up the folded garment. "This is a gown? Since when do they make clothes out of paper towels?"

"Ah, yes – it's disposable. Not great for the environment, but saves on the laundering. I'll just be over on the other side of the lab. Oh, and uh, just so you know, there's only one way out of here, and that's past the armed guard."

Bo chuckled at Lauren's casual attempt at warning her against trying to escape. "Lauren, I've just been kidnapped by circus freaks, I don't know where I am or who these people are or what they are going to do to me. If I _didn't_ need you to tell me what the hell I am, do you really think I would have let myself be so easily led to some mysterious lab and then willingly get naked and submit to being poked and prodded like a lab rat? If I had been lying, I would have escaped by now. I'm not going anywhere until I get some answers."

Lauren looked at Bo intently for a few moments, contemplating the sincerity of her assertions. Could it really be – a Fae raised as a human, completely ignorant of the existence of her kind? Scientifically fascinating, of course, but it occurred to Lauren that if Bo was raised as a human, she would also be the first Fae that Lauren might actually be able to relate to – as an equal. Or possibly a friend?

"Fair enough. When I get back, I'll do my best to answer your questions." Lauren smiled warmly and turned to go get started on Bo's bloodwork.

Bo grabbed the paper gown and started to unfold it, eventually shaking it out to get it to open up properly; but in the process it ended up with a long tear up the side. _Shit_. Once she climbed up on the table, she scooted back so she wasn't balancing on the edge. But unsurprisingly, the gown ripped some more as she shifted position. It tore all the way up to her armpit so she had to hold her arm snugly against her side so she could keep the gown in one piece. _This is stupid_.

Lauren returned several minutes later with a clipboard. "Your blood sample is processing, hopefully we should have a result by the time we're finished. First I need to check some vitals to see how they deviate from human norms, and then I'll do the physical exam to check for any characteristics unique to other species."

"I don't know what you think you'll find, I've lived in this body for twenty-eight years and it's never looked like anything other than human to me."

"Then you'll just have to humor me, since I have all this fun paperwork to fill out that requires me to physically verify everything." Lauren grinned and aimed a thermometer into Bo's ear and clicked the button, giving her an instant temperature read. "Your temperature is running three degrees above normal, but I assume you're not feeling ill or feverish, right?"

"Feels totally normal to me."

Lauren made a note on her clipboard and then pulled a blood pressure cuff out of a holder on the wall and wrapped Bo's arm. After checking Bo's blood pressure and pulse she made another notation on her clipboard. Then Lauren tugged the top of Bo's gown aside to make room for her stethoscope so she could listen to Bo's heart.

"Well so far, your temperature, resting heart rate and blood pressure are all elevated, but within the normal range of most Fae species, but I can further narrow-down my short list since you only have one heartbeat." Smiling enthusiastically, Lauren grabbed her clipboard and scribbled some more notes.

"Having just one heart is supposed to be _special_? Shit, have you examined aliens with more than one heart? And what does fay mean – is that a planet?"

Bo frowned in annoyance as Lauren burst out laughing.

Lauren covered her mouth as she tried to regain her composure. "I'm sorry!" She squeaked between giggles. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Lauren closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry Bo, that was really unprofessional of me. I guess I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that you're a blank slate, so to speak."

"That makes two of us." Bo huffed. "So will you please bring me up to speed so I can stop feeling like a complete idiot?"

Lauren cleared her throat and smiled gently. "Yes, yes of course. First of all, you're not an alien. You are very much an earthling, but you aren't human. You belong to a class of humanoids called Fae. Humans and Fae share a common ancestor, but they branched off and evolved separately. There are many different species of Fae, but at first glance they look human, which is how their existence has been hidden from humans for millennia."

"So are the goons that kidnapped me Fae? I mean, obviously the werewolf isn't human, but is everyone else Fae too?"

"Yes, they're all Fae, but different kinds. Actually, Dyson isn't a werewolf – he's a wolf shifter. He can transform partially or completely into an actual wolf. No full moon required."

"Neat trick."

Lauren bent down and took ahold of Bo's left foot, carefully inspecting between her toes. Once she was satisfied, Lauren reached for the clipboard again. "Well, you're definitely not a Lilin. No webbed toes." Bo smirked and raised an eyebrow, but Lauren was too engrossed to notice. Next, she took one of Bo's hands and pressed all around the base of her pinky finger, fully exploring the knuckle and the side of her hand.

"Uh, is there something weird about my hand?"

"Actually…no." Lauren smiled brightly. "I was looking for any signs that you'd had a sixth finger removed. And since you were clearly born with five, I can rule out Quarina. And my original hypothesis is looking better and better." She picked up the clipboard again. "But I have a few questions for –"

"Um, I'm curious doctor, why am I sitting here in a paper dress if you just needed to look at my hands and feet?"

"Oh, uh – yes. It's possible it might not be relevant, but I still need to check you over for clan markings, such as brands and tattoos. Clan marks are usually on the back, upper arms, hips and…" Lauren's voice trailed off and her mouth went dry as Bo suddenly hopped off the table, ripped away the torn gown, spun around in a circle and then spread her arms with a flourish, as if to say 'ta-da!'

For the first time ever in her medical career, Lauren's professional eye completely abandoned her in the middle of an exam. In the instant Bo tore away the exam gown, she ceased being a fascinating Fae specimen of unknown origin. Bo's true nature was an intoxicating feast of sensuality that held Lauren and her hormones captive from the moment she got her first full view of Bo's breathtaking nude body.

"My god, you're beautiful."

Bo's original intention was to get the pointless exam over with so she could ditch the stupid paper gown and get back into her regular clothes. She knew there were no 'clan markings' to see and she just wanted to bypass the bullshit and start getting answers. But as she watched the doctor's aura flare up blindingly from arousal she stopped to savor the moment. It wasn't uncommon for Bo to trigger a similar reaction in others, but seeing this attractive woman helplessly stripped of her professional decorum was utterly delicious to behold.

"Is that your professional opinion, _doctor_?" Bo grinned deviously, her voice dripping with salacious intent. "By the way, my eyes are up here."

Lauren was trapped in her own cloud of lust for several more moments before it finally registered that she was blatantly ogling her patient. With an undignified squeak she averted her eyes and focused on her clipboard as she tried to rein in her libido and control her breathing. Her first instinct was to make some lame comment to cover her embarrassment, but she knew it was pointless.

"I think we both know that was far from a professional assessment, Bo." Lauren confessed contritely, her eyes never leaving her clipboard. "That was grossly inappropriate, and I can't apologize enough. Please, by all means, feel free to get dressed. And once I recover some of my dignity, I have some more questions for you."

Bo smirked as she reached for her pants. "Look, don't worry about it. No apology needed. And for what it's worth, you're cute when you're flustered."

Lauren chuckled self-consciously. "Flirting isn't really helping, you know."

"Sorry. So, back to business. As I'm sure you could see, I don't have any marks. I actually got a tattoo once, but it disappeared the next time I, uh, killed someone."

Lauren's eyes lit up in recognition. "Actually, that further confirms my suspicions. Have you ever had an injury that instantly healed after you fed?"

"Fed? So that's what I'm doing? I mean, it always gives me a rush that I'm obviously addicted to. And yeah, the miraculous healing thing has happened before. But I never really thought of it as feeding. Shit, I'm like _eating_ people?" Killing people was horrific enough, but the idea that she was consuming her victims made Bo's stomach turn. "Oh, and uh, it's safe to look up again."

Lauren smiled sheepishly as she looked up to see her patient fully clothed again. "Bo, it's perfectly natural. And you don't have an addiction. You need to feed to live. What you're doing is feeding off their life force, or as the Chinese call it, chi. Humans mistakenly think they are at the top of the food chain, but in reality the Fae evolved to feed off of humans – in one way or another."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? As if being a serial killer isn't bad enough."

"You're not a monster, Bo. You are part of the natural world and have just as much right to exist as any human." Lauren said soothingly.

"Well, I guess that's pretty easy to say when you think humans are just walking happy meals!" Bo accused bitterly. "But I grew up as a human – so to me, they will never be anything less than _people!_"

Lauren hadn't meant to upset her patient, but she was actually quite charmed to hear a Fae so vehemently defend the intrinsic value of humanity. "Actually Bo, that's something we have in common."

"You were raised by humans too?"

"I was, actually. But I'm not Fae, Bo. I'm human. And I consider your attitude quite refreshing and admirable."

"You…but – are you crazy? How can you…I mean, do _they_ know that? Holy shit, Lauren, you're working for a bunch of freaks that would eat you for dinner!"

"They aren't freaks, they are just as natural as any animal predator, just extremely more intelligent. Their existence isn't good or bad, it's just the natural order of things. But I assure you, nobody is going to feed off me. I'm far too useful to them. True, the Fae don't have a high regard for humans in general, but for me the Fae are a scientific goldmine. So it's a mutually beneficial arrangement."

"That's a hell of a compromise to make just to get your academic jollies."

"Such is the burden of a pathologically curious science nerd." Lauren smiled sincerely, though she was hoping to direct the conversation away from her relationship to the Fae. That was way too personal a subject for someone she just met. "But enough about me. So tell me, when you feed, is it usually when you're having sex? And yes, that is a strictly professional question."

"No disclaimer needed, doctor. But yeah, it's usually during sex, but sometimes all I have to do is make out with them. So I'm not just a killer, I'm a perv too."

"Not at all. The chi that you need to consume comes from the generation of sexual energy. Even if you are just kissing, I suspect that the person you're feeding from gets unusually aroused. It's perfectly normal."

"Lauren…" Bo sighed heavily. "What the hell am I?"

"I'd say the evidence is pretty conclusive, even without your bloodwork results. You're a succubus, Bo. A perfectly normal, natural succubus. And you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"How can you be so casual about it? I _kill_ people. Habitually."

"I did want to ask about that. I'm not judging, but…does your feeding always result in a kill?"

"Well, yeah. That's how it works. Once it starts, I can't stop. It just won't shut off until they're dead. I finally gave up trying to stop. All I could do is try not to do it as often. I'd hold out until I just couldn't stand it anymore, and then the cycle starts all over again – kill someone, dump the body, then move on to a new town and a new identity."

"God Bo, I'm so sorry." Lauren felt a pang in her heart as she finally saw the pain in Bo's eyes that up till now had been hidden behind her brash exterior. "That's…that's just no way to live. It must be exhausting…and very lonely."

Bo's first instinct was to recoil from Lauren's pity, but when she saw the warm empathy in the doctor's eyes, Bo's defenses fell away.

"But it doesn't have to be that way, Bo."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm afraid your killing spree is an unfortunate consequence of not being raised by your own kind, otherwise you would have been trained to control your abilities by now."

"But, but how? Lauren, I swear – I've tried so hard! Are you seriously telling me that I've spent ten years murdering people not because it was beyond my control, but because I'm _incompetent_? God, that's even worse!"

"Bo, you're not a murderer and this is not your fault. You've only done what you had to do to survive, and you can't be judged for that. Look, the Fae have already covered your tracks from this last kill, so there's no need to skip town again. If you stick around for a while, I might be able to help you."

"You really think it's still possible for me to change?" Bo didn't dare to hope.

"Absolutely. It won't happen overnight, it's going to take patience and practice. I even have some medication that might help. I developed it for an incubus – which is the male counterpart to a succubus – but I'm fairly certain it would work for you as well. I'll need a day or two to whip up a batch. But in the meantime, you'll be relieved to know that you can safely feed from a Fae without hurting them."

"Holy shit! Really?" Bo was suddenly so excited that she instinctively pulled Lauren into a grateful hug. "Oh my god…I, I don't have to kill anyone again – ever?"

Lauren was shocked by the sudden affectionate gesture from a relative stranger, but within less than a second of being in Bo's embrace, she felt like she had come home – and it made her heart ache a little. "Yes, Bo." Lauren gently pulled away so she could look Bo in the face. "You don't have to kill anyone again."

Despite her giddiness, Bo suddenly realized she had invaded the personal space of a woman she barely knew. With a sheepish grin she gently stepped away from the doctor, immediately noticing that she missed the comforting contact.

"Of course, it's still a good idea to learn how to feed safely from humans, you never know when you might be in a situation where humans are your only feeding option. Actually, most Fae don't have to kill to feed, which helps reduce the risk of the Fae world being exposed to humans. But accidents do happen. That's why there are Fae on the police force to help cover up mishaps. Leaving a body out in the open was a red flag that led the Fae right to you."

"Shit. I almost forgot about that little situation. So what are they going to do with me?"

"I don't know exactly. But I'm fairly certain that they aren't happy to discover a mysterious unaligned Fae in their midst."

"What does that mean, unaligned?"

"The Fae are sharply divided into two rival factions, the Light and the Dark. Most likely they are going to demand that you choose a side, otherwise they might make life difficult for you."

"Well that's fucked up."

"Right now, you're a wild card with no allegiance, so they perceive you as a threat."

"Well obviously I need to stay close to the Fae if I wanna stop killing people – but as for joining their little club? No offence, but your Fae friends seem like a bunch of mob thugs to me. So no thanks."

"I wish it were that simple. I can appreciate your not wanting the Fae butting into your life, but ironically, the Fae are more likely to leave you alone if you pick a side. Now that you're on their radar, I can guarantee they won't let you out of their sight even if you try to leave town. I know that probably offends your independent nature, but for now, you actually need the Fae. And it would be good for you to have the chance to learn about your own kind. Besides, the Fae aren't all thugs, some are actually quite nice, considering. You've only met the ones who are involved with Fae law enforcement, so they aren't exactly the welcome wagon."

"I'll think about it, but I make no promises."

"For what it's worth, I work for the Light Fae. It would be much easier for me to help you if you side with the Light. If you choose the Dark I wouldn't be allowed to have contact with you at all. And I have a feeling that you're the type that would find the Dark Fae…distasteful."

"And why is that?"

Lauren smiled slyly. "Because you have a conscience."

"Oh."

Before Bo had a chance to ask Lauren to elaborate further, the large double doors to the lab slid open and Dyson strode in briskly, brandishing handcuffs.

"Have you finished your exam, doctor? The Ash grows impatient."

"We're just finishing up. Dyson, in the future, if you know I'm with a patient, please use the intercom before barging in. A patient undergoing an exam is entitled to a modicum of privacy, regardless of who they are."

"She looks reasonably decent to me." He replied curtly. "So, do you have a verdict?"

Lauren quickly swallowed down her annoyance. "Yes, I'll be forwarding my formal report to the Ash shortly. But you can let him know she's a succubus."

"A succubus?" He smirked knowingly. "Then I'm actually surprised she's dressed after all. You probably should have been assigned a chaperone."

Lauren's annoyance immediately bloomed into full-fledged irritation. "As long as you are in my lab I would appreciate it if you kept your innuendo to yourself."

"Relax doctor," Dyson said as he walked over to Bo. "It was a comment on her nature, not your character."

"You know I can hear you, right?" Bo snapped.

"Hands behind your back, please." Dyson commanded quietly, holding up the handcuffs.

Bo just crossed her arms and scowled.

Dyson sighed wearily. "I'm just doing my job. I really don't want to use force." He paused a moment before adding, "And I'm sorry I was rude."

Bo looked at Lauren to gauge her reaction, but by the look of resignation on the doctor's face it was clear that resistance wouldn't be in her best interest.

"It's best to just do what he says." Lauren admitted, though she was cringing on the inside. "Don't give them anymore reason to consider you a threat."

Bo petulantly turned her back toward Dyson and thrust her arms behind her so he could cuff her.

"So what does the Ash want with her now?" Lauren asked in an abrupt tone.

"I'm taking her to the old glass factory. They're going to give her the test."

Lauren's eyes widened in shocked recognition. "That's insane! Dyson, she _really_ didn't know what she is. She was raised by humans! She knows nothing about the Fae and their traditions. She hasn't had any training!"

Dyson seemed truly sympathetic. "It's not our decision to make."

"Hello? Again, I'm right here! What the hell are you two talking about?" Bo demanded.

"Dyson, will you give us a minute?" Lauren's voice was calm, but her eyes were pleading urgently.

"Make it quick, the Ash and the Morrigan are waiting."

When Dyson made no move to walk away, Lauren gently took Bo's arm and led her over to the other side of the room.

"What the hell is this test?"

"I wish I could tell you there's a way to get out of it, but I can't. Do you have any fighting experience?"

"I guess. I've gotten into my share of scrapes. I can take care of myself. Why?"

"They're going to put you through a series of physical and mental trials. You have to prove your worth in order to earn your standing in Fae society. It's the only way for you not to be considered an enemy. And they're going to make you choose a side."

"Fuck that!"

"I'm sorry, it's unavoidable. But listen, as soon as you get a chance, try and grab a Fae and kiss them senseless and get as much chi as you can. You need to have as much strength as possible!"

"But –"

"I wish there was more I could do to help you, Bo. Just keep your wits about you and believe in yourself. And when it's over, come back tomorrow and we'll get started working on a plan for you to gain control of your succubus abilities. Bo, you are part of the Fae now, whether you want to be or not. And you're going to need an ally to help you navigate this world. My power and influence are very limited, but I'll do what I can to help."

Bo paused a moment to let Lauren's words sink in. "An ally would be great," Bo said with a shy smile. "but how about a friend instead?"

"That goes without saying." Lauren smiled hopefully. "And quite honestly, I could use a friend too."

"You earned that the moment you told me I'm not a monster."

Without thinking, Lauren pulled Bo into a hug then whispered in her ear, "Now go kick some ass! And I'll see you soon."

As Dyson watched from across the room, he quirked an eyebrow when he saw the human hug the succubus. _Interesting_.

When Lauren released her new friend from her embrace, Bo smiled confidently and nodded her head, then turned to walk back over to Dyson.

"Let's go wolfy! Bring it on!"

As Dyson escorted Bo out of the lab, she gave Lauren a final glance and winked before she disappeared out the door.

Lauren kept staring at the door for several seconds after they were gone. She was worried, scared and hopeful all at the same time. In less than an hour, this mysterious woman had walked into her life and managed to turn her whole world upside down. _I only just found you Bo. Please come back to me._

FIN


	9. Safe With Me

A/N: Sorry this took longer to finish than expected. Some parts were hard to write and I kept revising over and over again. Anyway…

I am a total sucker for emotional, smutty "first time" stories. So here is yet another _Vexed_ love scene, however I didn't want to write this one with the "morning-after spybang disaster" looming overhead. So this story could _possibly_ be an angsty hurt/comfort follow up to _Taking the Spy out of the Bang_, or any other AU you want to imagine in which the morning after their first time doesn't go horribly wrong.

Arguably, this story could have it's own thread instead of being in this collection. This is less of a "scene hack" and more of a "burn it down, salt the earth, start over from scratch and completely ignore the context of the rest of the episode" sort of story. Let's just chalk it up to my muse being hormonal.

The premise here is that Bo's ten year murder spree has damaged her much more than she lets on. (The show explored this theme later in S2 Raging Fae, where Bo falls apart in a fit of self-hatred after that boxing match.) Poor Bo is in dire need of some healing – the kind that only Dr. Lewis can provide. :-)

A word of caution: Bo goes to a **very** **dark** emotional place in this story. (I'm such a sap I actually cried a few times while I was writing it. :-P)

**Reader's reviews feed my muse! :-D**

Rated **M** for mature sexual content. Read at your own risk.

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**Safe With Me**

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"Oh sweetie, you're shaking." Lauren leaned back from their embrace so she could look into Bo's frightened blue eyes. She tenderly caressed Bo's cheek and whispered softly, "Just take some deep breaths. You're going to be fine."

It had taken nearly thirty minutes of gentle coaxing, but Bo and Lauren had finally ended up next to Bo's bed, struggling to remove their clothes while trying to keep Bo's anxiety in check. They had managed to get their top layers off, but Bo had hesitated removing her bra; eternally patient, Lauren had simply taken Bo in her arms and held her, hoping to reassure her soon-to-be lover that there was no rush.

"I don't think I can do this, Lauren. It feels so…wrong." Bo's throat constricted painfully, and she clamped her eyes shut. "_I'm_ wrong. Please Lauren, this is a mistake!"

As Lauren tightened her hold, she felt Bo's breathing speed up and grow shallower. "Bo, is that you talking, or your fear?"

"Is there a difference?" Bo choked out.

Lauren stroked Bo's hair soothingly and spoke softly into her ear. "Shhhhh. Try and concentrate on your breathing." Bo took several deep breaths in through her nose and out her mouth until she was interrupted when Lauren gave her a slow, lingering kiss, just allowing their lips to caress each other. "Now, let the succubus fall away for a minute. No succubus, no hunger, nothing bad in the past, nothing scary in the future, just right now, in this moment." Lauren rubbed all over Bo's back as she paused to give Bo time to clear her mind. "Now what does _Bo_ want? Do you want to be with me? I would never push you to do something you don't want, but please, listen to _yourself_, not your fear."

"I…" Bo couldn't finish her sentence and just helplessly buried her face in Lauren's shoulder.

"It's ok, you can tell me. I'll understand, I promise."

"I…yes Lauren, I do, I do want to be with you, but…"

"But?"

"But my body won't _let_ me!" Bo felt her eyes start to sting as she fought to keep her composure, which only caused her to tense up and start shaking again.

"Bo, sweetie…you're not giving yourself enough credit." Lauren gently cradled Bo's face in her hands as she tried to get Bo to look at her. "You've come a long way and you have the extra help from the injections. If you can't trust yourself, then trust me. I know you can do it and I promise I won't let anything bad happen."

Bo couldn't bear to meet Lauren's gentle gaze. She closed her eyes again and clenched her jaw, trying to hold back the panic. "You, you don't understand – it's so much **more** than just that!"

"Then talk to me Bo. Help me understand."

Bo started shaking her head, slowly at first, then speeding up as she came closer to hyperventilating. "I can't. No. I can't talk about this." She finally pushed away so she could gather her clothes. "God, I'm so sorry Lauren…I, I need to get out of here." She bent down to grab her shirt, holding it up to her chest as she stumbled around the bed and toward the door, looking for her pants and boots.

"No, please Bo! Don't run away from me." Lauren quickly followed after her and gently embraced Bo from behind and pressed her cheek to the back of Bo's shoulder. "Let me help you. Please, just let me in, Bo. You don't have to be alone with what's tormenting you."

Bo could only manage a hoarse whisper. "_Please_! It, it's too much! I…oh, god…" Bo clutched desperately at the shirt she held in front her as her face grew hot and a few errant tears spilled from her eyes, which had shifted back to their original brown. She couldn't remember ever feeling this naked.

"Shhh…shhh…I got you, you're ok." As Lauren peppered gentle kisses on the back of Bo's neck and shoulders, she felt Bo convulse gently as she stifled her sobs. "Everything's ok, I'm right here."

Bo gasped a few times, finally swallowing down the huge lump in her throat so she could attempt to speak.

"Lauren," she strangled out, "even if I manage not to hurt you…I, I just can't bear to…"

"You can't bear to what, sweetie? Please, it's ok to tell me. Whatever is tearing you up inside, you need to let it out."

"I just can't defile you like that!" Bo broke away from Lauren's embrace and whirled around to face her, then just as quickly started backing away, still holding her shirt up to her chest, like a shield. "Just the thought of it is giving me a panic attack!" She croaked out, her eyes wild with the surprise of her own outburst. Before Lauren could react, Bo found herself frozen in place right next to the doorjamb, backed up against one of the few places in the room with a sturdy piece of wall.

Lauren was completely floored by Bo's choice of words. "_Defile _me?" She reined in her shock so as not to spook Bo; Lauren never could have imagined that this powerful, passionate woman could seem so frail – yet her vulnerability just made Lauren adore her even more. She took another step toward Bo and smiled warmly. "I'm not some virginal princess hidden away in a white tower, Bo. How could you possibly defile me? Why would you say such a thing?" She noticed that Bo almost seemed to wince when she stepped closer. Watching Bo cower like a cornered animal made her heart ache, but she kept her distance for the moment.

"For, for ten years… TEN YEARS, Lauren! …I never had sex for any reason other than to kill people." Before Lauren could interrupt by automatically jumping to her defense, Bo raised her palm up, silently pleading with Lauren to hold back while she tried to get this out.

"My…my body betrayed me in the most disgusting way imaginable." Bo stared blankly into space as a familiar dead chill settled into her chest. "No matter how much revulsion I felt in my heart, I-I still got…_aroused_ from draining the life out of someone."

Lauren watched as Bo's jaw muscles tightened and her vacant eyes filled with unshed tears. Lauren's breath hitched when she realized that Bo's eyes were in fact seeing something – it just wasn't something in the here and now.

"And when they would start to struggle…and panic," Her voice continued to tremble, rising in pitch, as it lowered in volume. "I would just hold them down harder and use my thrall to…to slip them a succubus _roofie_ so they couldn't fight back." The tears finally started leaking from her eyes and Bo slowly slid down the wall into a pitiful heap on the floor, as she continued to relive the hellish vision in her mind's eye.

Bo propped her elbows on her knees and covered her head in shame. "Dear god, Lauren, I'm a **rapist** and **murderer** and…and for ten straight years, **_I got off_** **_on it_**!" She spat out bitterly between sobs. "For the first four years or so, after every single feed I would spend an hour or more just vomiting and retching until I collapsed."

Bo stared helplessly up at the ceiling, as the tears streamed down her cheeks. "And their faces…god, the faces of all my victims would never stop chasing me, no matter how far I ran or how much I drank." She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes and nose on the shirt she was still holding. "You know, at one of my lowest points I consumed nothing but vodka, tequila, and chi for four months straight." She chuckled darkly. "But such is the curse of a feeding succubus – the chi wouldn't let me drink myself to death, no matter how hard I tried."

Lauren shuddered with emotion as the tears that had been gathering in her eyes finally spilled out. Of course, Lauren was well aware that Bo never learned how to control her feeding before she encountered the Fae, but she was ashamed to realize that she hadn't given much thought to the degree of emotional damage Bo had suffered from years of killing against her will. The palpable waves of self-loathing radiating from Bo were utterly heartbreaking. "Oh, Bo… I had no idea."

Despite her instincts to the contrary, up until now Lauren had kept her distance to allow Bo to have as much literal and figurative breathing room as possible. But it didn't feel right to remain standing and continue to tower over her. Lauren slowly approached and sat down on the floor in front of Bo and then leaned in gently to hold Bo's hands. "Thank you so much, Bo."

Bo looked up in confusion. "Why are you thanking me?"

"Because I know this is the first time you've ever spoken your truth out loud. And it's a privilege that you shared it with me." Bo simply looked down at her lap and barely nodded her head in acknowledgment. "Did it ever get any easier, after those first four years?"

"I finally got desensitized enough to preserve a minimal amount of my sanity… but that living nightmare never completely goes away, Lauren. Sex equals feeding and feeding equals death and depravity. That's all I've ever known."

"But does it still feel like that now, even though you were able to stop killing a couple months ago?"

"No, it's actually gotten a lot easier to live with. Being able to feed safely from Fae has made a huge difference, and I don't just mean the lack of a body count. It's helped me to keep the…atrocities of my past compartmentalized, away from the basic necessity of feeding. I…I really thought I had a chance of finally moving past it, you know? And then tonight… was a huge mistake. I was such a fool, Lauren. I'm so, so sorry! For just a moment, I let myself forget what I am. I let myself pretend that I was capable of having a normal sexual relationship. And the price for that hubris was a…a visceral reminder that I will always be nothing more than an abomination on a leash. We didn't do anything wrong, Lauren, yet the instant my eyes turned blue, I felt more _monstrous_ than I've had in years."

"Bo, honey, so what really happened tonight? You said it was visceral? Did you have some kind of flashback?"

"Honestly, I don't know what it was, but it made my skin crawl." Bo bowed her head and fidgeted for a moment before looking back up at Lauren with concern in her eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound like…I mean it wasn't about you! God, Lauren, you're gorgeous!"

Lauren smiled reassuringly and squeezed Bo's hand. "Actually, I think it was exactly about me, but I'm not insulted. You've been successfully having sex without killing for a while now, and you haven't felt like this. So what was different tonight? Is it just your concern about me being human, or is there something else to it?"

Bo held Lauren's gaze for a long, awkward pause. With a pang of guilt, Lauren watched as Bo swallowed audibly and her eyes filled with fresh tears.

"I, I guess I just don't have a compartment that you fit in, Lauren." Bo admitted, utterly defeated. "You …not only are you not Fae, but you're someone I want to be with, even though you will never be a meal to me… you're someone I care about, you're not a random feed, or a random fuck, or a bodily function of any kind. But when I tried to add you to the mix…I guess the whole compartment system just fell apart." Bo buried her face in the rumpled shirt she had been clutching the whole time. She took several deep breaths while her face was covered, trying to prevent her shallow breathing from escalating.

"When I brought you up here…when you started to make me excited…I, I don't know how to explain it, but… it's like…I mean yeah, I'm worried if I have enough control over my hunger, but something else deep inside just snapped. My neat mental compartments of horror just blew wide open and…" She dropped her head again, trying in vain to keep the gentle sobs out of her voice. "…and then I had nowhere left to hide! I don't know how to separate myself from the monster I used to be. Lauren, I don't even know what it feels like to be turned on without it being polluted by the urge to feed, or the sickening memories that go with it. Even if I don't act on it, it doesn't change the fact that my libido is based on murder and perversity. How can I possibly allow myself to bring such filthy baggage into bed with you? I may not kill anymore Lauren, but the damage is done. My…my sexuality…is broken." Bo tipped her head back against the wall, facing up to the ceiling as she closed her eyes, pressing out a new wave of tears. "Contaminated." She swallowed hard to contain a sob. "And it always will be."

Lauren just couldn't hold back any longer, she needed to have this extraordinary yet wounded woman in her arms. Bo watched curiously as Lauren scooted around so she was sitting directly beside Bo. Not sure whether Bo would be frightened of her touch or not, Lauren slowly took Bo's hand and brought it to her lips. Lauren's eyes were watery and rimmed in red, but they shined with sincere affection. She deliberately maintained eye contact while she kissed Bo's knuckles. Tears silently slid down Bo's face as she looked at Lauren in complete wonder, honestly confused as to why this sweet woman was showing her such tenderness after hearing her macabre confession.

When Bo didn't flinch away, Lauren reached to caress her tear-stained cheek and stroke her hair. "Bo, may I hold you?"

"Why?"

Lauren's heart ached as she saw how Bo truly couldn't comprehend why Lauren would want to touch her at all. "Because I want to, Bo. Here, come sit in my lap." She held her arms out in invitation; Bo was hesitant for a moment, then ever so slowly she maneuvered herself onto Lauren's lap, where strong but gentle arms embraced her.

Lauren pressed a sweet kiss into silky raven locks then guided Bo's head to rest on her shoulder. As she gently rocked back and forth, Lauren breathed a small sigh of relief when she finally felt Bo's body let go of some of its tension, although she could still feel Bo's warm tears as they continued to leak onto her shoulder.

"Bo, you said that when you were suddenly overcome by the memories and feelings of your past, that you panicked because you had nowhere to hide – did you mean it like, you felt too exposed because you couldn't hide the scary parts of yourself?" Bo sniffled a couple of times, then Lauren felt her nod her head.

Lauren gently stroked Bo's hair. "I just want you to know, that no matter how bad it gets, you don't ever have to hide from _me_, ok? I can see all of you, Bo, even the parts that you hate right now – and I _still_ think you're amazing." Lauren felt Bo tighten her hold in response, convulsing gently from silent sobs.

For several long minutes, Lauren quietly continued to hold Bo, rocking gently and stroking her hair. When she noticed that Bo's breathing had finally evened out to a relaxed pace, Lauren kissed Bo's forehead to get her attention. "Bo, sweetheart, look at me." Bo timidly lifted her head up to look at Lauren, who smiled fondly when she saw Bo's adorably splotchy face.

"Bo, by a cruel twist of fate, you didn't grow up with Fae relatives and mentors who could give you the guidance and skills you needed to thrive. And as a result you've spent years being repeatedly subjected to unimaginable emotional trauma. But you must understand one fundamental truth before you can heal. The trauma is **not** who you are – it was something that was _inflicted_ upon you by circumstance. The real problem is that the trauma has been _lying_ to you, Bo. Do you hear me? All those horrible things you think about yourself and your true nature…it's all a damn **LIE**. You are no more a murdering rapist than Lou Ann is a child killer. Both of you had the power of your own free will tragically taken from you in one way or another. But it has nothing whatsoever to do with the content of your character or your intrinsic value as a person."

Lauren gently stroked the side of Bo's face, using her thumb to wipe away the fresh tears that began flowing down her cheeks. "And I'm not going to rest until you stop believing the lie." Lauren took a chance and leaned in to give Bo a gentle kiss, and her heart fluttered with relief and excitement when, after a moment's hesitation, Bo willingly accepted it.

"Bo?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you come and lie down with me on the bed? I still want to hold you, but the floor is uh, making my ass numb."

Bo smiled sheepishly, partially stifling a giggle. "Ok."

They awkwardly untangled themselves and helped each other to stand up. Lauren gave Bo a sensual but chaste kiss, then led her by the hand over to the bed. Before lying down, Lauren embraced Bo again, rubbing soothing circles over her back. She pulled back just enough to look into Bo's eyes, while slowly unhooking her bra. Bo's breath hitched and Lauren felt her tense up.

"It's ok, Bo. No expectations or pressure. I just want us to enjoy the closeness." Bo inhaled deeply, then nodded, giving Lauren permission to pull the bra from her shoulders. Lauren's first instinct was to blurt out how breathtakingly beautiful Bo is, but she tried to avoid over-sexualizing the situation too quickly. Lauren swiftly dispatched her own bra and panties, then knelt down to slide Bo's panties down her legs so she could step out of them. Lauren placed a tender kiss on Bo's hip before she stood up and climbed into bed. "Come lie next to me baby," she said, patting the mattress, "you can be the little spoon."

Bo smiled demurely and she felt her heart flutter when Lauren called her baby. She had used other pet names tonight, but 'baby' felt more…intimate. Bo cautiously climbed into bed and then turned on her side facing away from Lauren, who embraced her from behind and snuggled tightly to her body. Bo's breath hitched when she felt Lauren's warm body protectively envelop her; Bo's stomach was full of nervous butterflies, but it wasn't the same kind of blind terror she had felt earlier.

"Is this ok? Just let me know if you start to feel uncomfortable or smothered. I'll understand, I promise."

"I'm still nervous, but this also feels really nice, I think I'm ok for now."

"Good. I want you to keep telling me how you feel. And it's ok if scary feelings come up, you don't have to hide from them, or push them away. You're strong enough to face them because you're in a safe place right now, so they can't hurt you." Lauren gave Bo a reassuring squeeze and whispered in her ear, "You're safe with me."

Bo was unprepared for how emotionally overwhelmed she was by Lauren's reassuring words. More tears silently dripped from her eyes as she grasped Lauren's hand that was around her waist and brought it to her lips, showering it with gentle kisses and nuzzled it with her cheek. One of Bo's biggest fears had been that she wasn't strong enough to protect Lauren from herself. But she never could have imagined that it would actually be Lauren who would protect _her_, and it produced a warm, sweet ache in Bo's fragile heart.

As Bo continued to nuzzle and kiss her hand, Lauren placed small, open mouthed kisses from beneath Bo's ear down to her neck, and onto her shoulder, smiling into a kiss whenever she heard Bo murmur and sigh. Lauren used her foot to caress up and down Bo's smooth lower legs. Each woman unconsciously adjusted to press more firmly into the other, and everywhere that warm flesh met warm flesh radiated gentle waves of sensuous pleasure that both soothed and excited their bodies.

"I've dreamed of holding you like this, Bo. You feel wonderful." Lauren sighed.

"Really?"

"Oh don't act surprised Bo," Lauren said as she rolled her eyes, "even without your succubus sight, I'm sure it was obvious to you from the moment I saw you that you took my breath away, despite my futile efforts to act professional."

Bo giggled from the memory. "And you are absolutely adorable when you're flustered."

Lauren chuckled playfully. "I'm glad one of us was having fun – I was absolutely mortified!"

"You might've been mortified, but from the looks of your sexual aura, other parts of your body were definitely having fun!" Bo let go of Lauren's hand so she could reach behind her and run her hand slowly back and forth over Lauren's hip. "And you feel wonderful too. I haven't had a lot of experience with just…holding, you know?"

"Is that so? Too vanilla for you?" Lauren teased.

"No that's not it!" Bo's giggles were infectious. "It's just…my sexual encounters tend to be rather…goal-oriented. Most of the time it's just, 'wham, bam, thanks for the chi.' And before I found the Fae, there was definitely no post-coital snuggling. I might be a sex demon but I draw the line at necrophilia." Lauren winced at the terrible joke and only half-stifled a snort. "God, I'm sorry, Lauren. That was terrible! Talk about a mood killer." Bo giggled, despite her embarrassment.

"Well at least you can joke about it." Lauren chuckled good-naturedly. "But…it does remind me about something you said earlier that I wanted to talk to you about. It was one of those big fat lies – about the source of your sexuality?"

"Hm?"

"Listen carefully, my dear succubus." Lauren repeatedly stroked her fingers down Bo's arm and over her hip and then back up again. "Murder and perversity are **_not_** and_**never have been**_ the source of your sexuality – that ugliness was unfairly dumped on you and it has nothing to do with the reality of who you are. I'm serious, Bo. The true source of your sexuality, your power, is _passion_ – a pure and powerful lust for life, vitality, and renewal. Your libido has nothing to do with death. Sex is warmth, energy, blood pumping, body throbbing, it is a state when the body is most intensely _alive_ – why do you think it's called being 'turned on?' Whether it's for pleasure or procreation or both, sexual power is about _life _and_ living_. There is absolutely _nothing_ perverse or dirty about you."

Bo was moved to tears – again – by Lauren's passionate assertions about her true nature. Bo didn't dare try to speak, but instead simply grabbed Lauren's hand and squeezed hard. It was still so difficult for Bo to comprehend how Lauren could see such beauty where Bo only saw repulsiveness. Even though Bo chastised herself for even daring to consider it, she couldn't stop herself from wondering, _Is this what it feels like to be loved?_

"Bo… if only you could see what I see in you." Lauren sighed. "The only thing more amazing than the passion that infuses your body is the passion that fills your heart. I felt it from the first moment I met you Bo, and more and more every day since then."

At first Lauren worried that her over-the-top poetic declarations would be too overwhelming for Bo. She had never directly said she loved Bo; it wasn't really in a succubus' nature to reciprocate those kinds of feelings, and she didn't want Bo to feel awkward or pressured. But even without saying the L word, she realized she was unable to censor the intense feelings that were bubbling up from her heart. Lauren finally snapped back to reality when she felt Bo trembling in her arms and realized she had provoked a new torrent of tears. "Are you ok, babe?"

Bo unexpectedly started to giggle and sniffle through her tears. "God Lauren, you're making me cry and horny at the same time!"

"Oh is that so?" Lauren asked mischievously.

"Well yeah, with all that talk about pumping and throbbing!"

Lauren boldly moved her top leg and draped it over Bo's, deliciously rubbing her entire leg up and down. At the same time she stroked lazy circles over Bo's tummy. "Nothing wrong with being horny, Bo." Lauren whispered into her ear. She barely grazed the undersides of Bo's breasts with her fingertips. "In fact I actively encourage it."

Bo sharply inhaled and breathed out a gentle moan. "Oh, oh god…"

"You just let me know if it gets to be too much and I'll stop, ok? No expectations." Lauren felt Bo's body quiver as she trailed a finger down the side of Bo's neck, over her collarbone, then down the side of her breast.

"Oh, okay…" Bo rasped breathily.

Lauren reached down and gently cupped one of Bo's breasts while she pressed her pelvis more firmly into Bo's ass. Bo responded with several gasps in rapid succession, each growing more wheezy and high pitched. Bo's eyes suddenly shifted to glowing blue, setting off her inner alarm bells as she came closer to panic.

"Lauren! Oh god…" She expelled a low moan laced with fear. "I don't… Lauren I'm scared!"

"Your eyes just turned blue didn't they, baby?"

"Yeah." Bo squeaked out between pants. "I, I'm afraid I might…"

"I'll stop if you really want me to, Bo, but I promise you're safe. We both are. It's ok to be turned on. It's even ok if you feel the hunger. It's a natural part of you. You can let me know if it gets to be too much, but just try to push your tolerance a little bit. As long as it doesn't get too intense, just let it wash over you and concentrate on my touch, ok?"

"Oh, okaaay…ohh…no…no…"

"Are you feeling hungry, Bo?"

"Yeah…I don't know if… it's just…not right!"

"It's ok if you're hungry, Bo. There's nothing wrong or bad, it's perfectly normal, perfectly natural, but it doesn't control you." Lauren massaged Bo's breasts with a firmer touch and kissed her neck slowly as Bo groaned. "You feel so good, Bo. Does it feel good to you?"

"Uuuh-huhhh…._ohhhh_ yeah, it's good, it's good."

"Just see what it's like to feel the hunger but not act on it. Just settle in to it, Bo, breathe. There's nothing wrong with the way your body feels, you're perfect just the way you are." Lauren moved her hand away from Bo's breast and trailed her fingertips down toned abs, around a curvaceous hip, and over a firm, smooth ass. Lauren alternated between stroking with her fingers and massaging with her whole hand, causing Bo to gasp loudly and rock her hips harder.

"You're doing great Bo, and my god you are sexy as hell!" Both women giggled through their heavy breathing. "You don't have to be afraid of yourself, baby. You can't hurt me from this position, and you're not taking anything from me that I'm not giving freely. Just stay relaxed, breathe deep, and focus on what feels good."

"Uh-huuuuh…I, I'm trying…"

Lauren took Bo's earlobe in her mouth then moved her hand back up to Bo's breasts and took turns rolling both stiff nipples between her fingers. Bo gasped and her hips jerked involuntarily. Lauren savored the growing warm ache between her own thighs as she felt Bo's nipples grow harder and harder. Lauren took Bo's arm and guided her to stretch it out above her head. Lauren stroked her fingers along the full length of the underside of Bo's arm then continued down the side of her torso. Lauren's light touch on her heated skin gave Bo exquisite shivers, causing her to pant faster and faster. Lauren propped herself up on one arm so she could kiss down the same path that her fingers had taken; Bo cried out in pleasure as Lauren's lips and tongue caressed down her arm, then briefly paused long enough for Lauren to scoot down so she could continue kissing and licking down the side of Bo's ribs and finally to her hip, which rocked back and forth as Bo's pelvis undulated, helplessly seeking more friction.

Bo erupted in a strangled moan as Lauren's hand swept over her ass cheeks and stroked down the backs of her thighs. "Feeling good, Bo?"

"Uuuuhhhnn…yesssssss!" Bo hissed as Lauren's fingers trailed up the back of her right thigh. She slipped her hand between Bo's knees and gently pulled up her right leg, encouraging her to bend her knee.

"Here sweetie, bend your knee and put your foot flat on the bed." She guided Bo's leg into place so that her thighs were held open for easier access. Lauren stroked up and down both of Bo's inner thighs, which she happily discovered were slick with arousal.

"Oh god!" Bo clamped her eyes shut hard and her face contorted into an ecstatic grimace as the throbbing in her clit intensified with Lauren's teasing touch. She started rocking her hips faster and then explosively exhaled a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

Lauren stretched out again, reclining on her side, firmly pressing against Bo's inflamed body. She kissed Bo's neck and shoulder wetly then reached over Bo to take turns palming her breasts and tugging her nipples. Bo was crying out a high pitched moan with every heavy exhalation as Lauren stroked down her quivering abs, her hand finally coming to rest, gently cupping Bo's overheated flesh at the juncture of her thighs.

"_Ohhhhhhhhhh_!"

Lauren teasingly stroked her fingers through Bo's moist, wiry hair as Bo whimpered from the building tension in her clit. "Bo, you are absolutely breathtaking!" Lauren moved her hand around to stroke over Bo's ass one more time, then continued downward until she slipped her hand between Bo's thighs from behind and slid her fingers back and forth through warm slippery lips.

"Oh shit! Oh, god…_ohhh..AAH!_."

Lauren coated her fingers in Bo's slick arousal, smearing it liberally over her clit and labia as Bo whimpered and gasped. "Oh baby, you feel so good on my fingers!" She slid her thumb deep into her lover's core while her fingers rubbed firm, wet circles around Bo's clit.

"_UUUGHNNNN_…Gaaaah! Oh, mmmmm – **_fuck!_**"

Lauren moved her hand back and forth in small thrusts, barely aware that her own hips had started to rock insistently.

"Ple…please, h…ha…_harder!_"

"Of course, babe. Whatever you need." Lauren put more force behind her thrusts, grinning in delight as Bo's groaning grew louder and more incoherent.

As Lauren pushed her lover closer to her peak with every stroke, something else was starting to build deep inside Bo. At first she couldn't distinguish it from the storm of firing nerve endings that were whipping her into a euphoric frenzy. But something dark was rising, churning, and bubbling up from the depths. With her brow deeply furrowed and her mouth frozen open in a silent scream of unbearable pleasure, tears of devastating sorrow began flowing freely from her clamped-shut eyes. A Maelstrom of anger, fear, grief, and loathing were threatening to rip her apart from the inside; yet in the midst of such excruciating darkness, she felt her heart swelling, filling up with something warm and healing.

Lauren redoubled her efforts to maintain a firm rhythm to her thrusts and fluttered her fingertips as fast as she could. She was absolutely entranced by the divine vision of Bo's flushed body racing toward climax. Lauren gently kissed Bo's shoulder and softly spoke from her heart.

"My god Bo, you are such a miraculous creation of nature – so very _beautiful,_ inside and out."

Bo suddenly found her voice again as a loud, rapturous cry filled the room while her legs shook convulsively. Lights flashed behind her leaking eyelids and she felt herself hover, timelessly suspended in ecstasy, before violently shattering into a million ravaged pieces.

Lauren felt and heard the sobbing as soon as the last remnant of tension left Bo's body. Bo had turned her face into the pillow to muffle her cries, but her body made no attempt to hold back. "Come here, baby..." Bo didn't need much coaxing; she quickly turned over and pulled Lauren into a desperate embrace as huge sobs racked her body. Lauren's eyes watered as Bo wept into her shoulder. Lauren stroked Bo's sweaty hair and pressed kisses into her temple; she was more than happy to hold Bo for as long as she needed.

Lauren rolled onto her back, pulling Bo on top of her. Lauren embraced her tightly while rubbing her back and stroking her hair. "Thank you, Bo." She cooed. "Thank you for trusting me. You're going to be just fine, I promise. You are just amazing, baby."

Bo felt herself melt into the comfort of Lauren's skin as she continued to weep and tremble atop her lover. After nearly twenty minutes of clinging to Lauren like a life preserver, her gasping receded and Bo's emotional agony seemed to calm to a dull ache. She felt more raw and vulnerable than she ever had in her life, but as long as she stayed in Lauren's arms, she wasn't afraid.

"Thank you, Lauren." Bo choked out between sniffles. "For keeping me safe." Bo nuzzled back into Lauren's shoulder, caressing and nipping the soft skin with her lips as she instinctively sought more comfort.

Lauren inhaled deeply and closed her eyes as she savored the sensual attention Bo was giving to her shoulder and neck. "It was my pleasure Bo, and my honor." She turned her head toward Bo and kissed her gently on the cheek. Bo lifted her face from Lauren's shoulder, every instinct telling her to kiss the doctor senseless. Lauren saw the indecision on Bo's face, from not being sure if it was safe to kiss Lauren on the mouth. Without a word, Lauren gave Bo a beaming, reassuring smile, then pulled her in for a soul-melting kiss.

A deep, guttural groan erupted from Bo's throat as she tasted Lauren's lips and tongue. Her pelvis involuntarily rocked into Lauren who moaned deeply in return. While Bo had been clinging to Lauren while she wept, Lauren's lush warm body felt comforting and safe, but with the first touch of their lips, Bo became highly aware that her pelvis, abs, and breasts were deliciously pressed into Lauren's, and the slightest movement ignited arousing sparks across their increasingly sensitive skin.

Without thinking, Bo's legs fell into place straddling one of Laurens legs, allowing her to press her own thigh firmly between Lauren's. As Bo rocked forward her thigh made contact with warm, wet, yielding flesh and Lauren gasped sharply from the intoxicating pressure. Lauren grabbed Bo's ass and pulled her in to encourage Bo to maintain a firm, steady rhythm.

Lauren slowly kissed up Bo's jaw and whispered in her ear, "That's so good, Bo. You're setting me on fire. I love the way you feel on me."

"Oh, god…" Bo kissed down Lauren's neck and across her throat, provoking a rapid series of light panting that was music to Bo's ears. As her hips once again pushed deeply into Lauren, Bo took possession of her mouth again, whimpering happily as she savored the sweetness of Lauren's lips and tongue.

Suddenly Lauren felt Bo tense up and roughly pulled her mouth away. Her eyes were shut tightly and she turned her face away, gasping loudly. Lauren easily recognized that Bo had come close to feeding so she quickly cupped Bo's cheek before she could freak out and bolt away.

"Look at me, Bo." Bo reluctantly looked back at Lauren as if she were a puppy about to be scolded. "Have I ever told you how beautiful your blue eyes are? Just spellbinding! And oh-so-sexy." She smiled flirtatiously. "Bo, sweetie. There's nothing wrong with the way your body feels. If you're feeling hungry, there's nothing to be ashamed of, just focus away from my mouth for a while. But don't worry, don't be scared, and –" she added mischievously, "don't stop. You're making me feel incredible!"

A relieved grin gradually spread across Bo's face, then she suddenly dove into Lauren's neck, earning Bo a grateful moan from her lover. She trailed languorous, wet kisses down over Lauren's collarbones, lazily zig-zagging back and forth before dipping into the valley between her breasts. Bo scooted downwards a few inches so she could kiss over the swells of Lauren's breasts. As she kissed, nipped and nuzzled one breast, she gently massaged the other with her hand.

As Bo made love to her breasts, Lauren expelled a low, drawn out moan and bucked her hips harder. The throbbing in Lauren's clit surged suddenly as Bo finally took a hard nipple in her mouth. Lauren gasped sharply and held Bo's head to breast. "Oh, god Bo! _Uuuuhhn_…a little harder. Use your teeth baby. Ye_sssss_!"

Bo alternated breasts so they each got equal attention, driving Lauren's addictive moans and gasps higher and higher in pitch. Bo eventually released one of Lauren's nipples with a satisfying pop, and started to scoot down further to kiss across Lauren's ribs and stomach as she continued to stimulate her lover's breasts with her hands while they were still within reach.

"Lauren?"

"Yeah sweetie?" Lauren managed to gasp out.

"There's something I'd like to do, but um…promise not to laugh."

"Of course I won't. No need to be shy. You can do whatever you want, baby."

"Remember when I said that sex was very, uh, goal-oriented for me? As in, all about the chi?"

"Yeah…"

"Since feeding is a strictly mouth-to-mouth activity, I um…I've never actually…gone down on a woman before."

Lauren's eyebrows shot to her hairline and her head nearly exploded from the effort it took to hold in a fit of giggles. She swallowed hard, but she was unable to hold back the silly grin plastered across her face. "Ok, I'll be honest, I didn't see that coming. I guess it's easy to assume that a succubus is experienced with, uh everything. But, uh…if your experience is limited to feeding, I suppose it's not surprising."

"Exactly. And frankly, back when murder was inevitable, I tried to get it over with as fast as possible. And even when I'm with Fae…we can play longer and nobody dies, but it's still pretty focused on feeding. It just hasn't come up yet."

"Well, if it's not something you're used to, there's no pressure. Don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable."

"No, no, no! I want to! I really, _really_ want to! And now I want to more than ever…with you. I just wanted to warn you that I might not be very good at it."

"Bo, you were born to be a goddess among lovers. I have every confidence that your instincts will more than compensate for lack of experience." She finally let her giggles escape. "And yay for me for being the first! Never imagined I would deflower a succubus!"

With a wicked smile, Bo crawled back up Lauren's body and boldly gave her a scorching kiss. Bo still felt the urge to feed, but she tried to focus more on Lauren's pleasurable moans, which kept her nicely satisfied for the moment. "Let's just keep the deflowering part our little secret. I have a reputation to uphold!"

"My lips are sealed!" Lauren giggled.

"Now let's not get _too_ carried away, babe. Sealing those luscious lips closed will ruin half the fun." Bo slipped her tongue between Lauren's lips and moaned appreciatively; when she pulled away, Bo winked and licked her lips salaciously and returned to kissing down Lauren's chest.

Lauren started gasping and panting the instant Bo wrapped her lips around her nipple. Bo alternated between sucking and nibbling, sending an electrical current straight to Lauren's clit. She cried out as the jolt caused her hips to jerk forcefully and she felt a new wave of wetness spill from her throbbing pussy.

Lauren began to urgently grind into Bo's thigh, her body begging for more friction. "Please hurry Bo, I really need it now. _Uhhhhhhnn_…oh god, you're driving me crazy!"

Hearing Lauren beg instantly made Bo's arousal surge even higher, which she didn't think possible. As she felt a new wave of warm wetness smear over Lauren's thigh that she straddled, she groaned deeply as her inflamed pussy slid more easily back and forth.

"Ok babe…anything for you." Bo panted as she adjusted her legs and started to scoot down Lauren's body. The closer Bo came to her destination, the more intensely she smelled how much Lauren needed her. Bo took a few moments to simply bury her nose in the moist, coarse hairs on Lauren's mound and inhale deeply. Bo thought she could easily get drunk off the scent of her lover's arousal.

"Please…" Lauren begged in a strangled whisper as she spread her thighs wider.

Bo immediately snapped out of her reverie, and without hesitation, gently separated Lauren's lips with her thumbs, and dove in with gusto. With an urgent cry, Lauren bucked her hips as her body begged for firmer contact. Bo groaned deeply as she pressed her face into Lauren, causing her clit to twitch as Bo's vocalizations vibrated into her pussy.

"Oh god, Bo! Yes baby, that's it! _Ohhhhh_…"

Bo plunged her tongue in deep, scooping up Lauren's slick juices and continuing to slowly lick back and forth over the full length of Lauren's pussy. Bo blew puffs of her warm breath over Lauren's engorged flesh and then fluttered her tongue up and down each of her inner lips.

"_Uhhhnn…gaah!_ Bo, that's so good baby…oh god…"

Bo took another deep plunge to gather up more of Lauren's liquid arousal. "Holy fuck, baby! You taste so good! _Mmmmmmm_…."

Lauren was no longer able to speak but she joyfully expressed her pleasure with strangled moans and squeaks. Her hips bucked uncontrollably and she buried her fingers in Bo's hair, holding her in place. By now, all of Bo's anxiety had just fallen away as she lost herself in the experience. Lauren's responsive body filled all of her senses and there wasn't room for anything else. When the urge to feed became stronger than ever, she just concentrated more on Lauren's pleasure, and she found that her hunger for chi could be channeled into her hunger for Lauren's body. She devoured her lover even more desperately, much to Lauren's enthusiastic delight.

After several minutes of merciless teasing, Bo finally took Lauren's clit in her mouth and sucked gently, eliciting a sharp, wheezy gasp from her inflamed lover. Bo gradually increased the suction, then released, then sucked again. She continued the rhythmic sucking, as the throbbing in her own pussy pounded harder with Lauren's every wail and moan. Once Bo was satisfied that Lauren's swollen clit had become hypersensitive from the sucking, she lazily drew circles around it with her tongue.

"Oh _fuuuuuck_! _Uhhhhhhhhn_!" Lauren tightened her grip on Bo's hair while helplessly bucking and grinding into Bo's face.

Without warning, Bo plunged a finger into Lauren and more firmly rolled her tongue over and around her clit. "_AAHH!_ Oh god, that's it! That's it! Don't stop!"

Bo had no intention of stopping, as her elation began to rise right along with Lauren's. Instead she added another finger and increased the pace of her licking.

"Right there! _Uhhn…gaaaah!_ Oh baby, I'm gonna come…gonna….Oh god, _BOOOOOOO!_" Lauren gripped Bo's hair painfully, but she just happily kept licking as she basked in the rush of Lauren's orgasm.

It was the first time that anyone had screamed Bo's name during orgasm; all her past partners always had their mouths forcefully occupied while she fed. It was also the first time she brought someone to climax without once using her thrall to force the outcome. And she was blown away by how much euphoric pleasure she experienced by focusing on Lauren's experience and completely ignoring her own needs. There had been many firsts tonight. Bo's eyes watered at the realization that since she had stopped killing, this was the first time that sex wasn't just physically satisfying – it was beautiful.

Bo crawled up to lay next to Lauren and gathered her into a tender embrace. Their cooling passions simmered as their lips and tongues met in a slow sensual kiss. "That was amazing, Bo. You felt like an expert to me. I knew you'd be a natural."

"I just couldn't get enough of you, Lauren. I'm afraid I'm addicted." Bo smirked playfully.

"Well lucky for you, there's an endless supply!" Lauren giggled and rolled on top of Bo and smothered her with needy kisses.

A few hours later, the spent lovers serenely drifted on the edge of slumber. As they lay contently entwined, the sheets and their bodies saturated with sweat and the sweet musk of sex, for the first time in her adult life, Bo Dennis felt clean.

FIN

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><p>AN2: So...intense feels and sexiness or cheesy overwrought melodrama? I was going for the former, let me know if it worked.


	10. Disclosure

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**Disclosure**

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**Setup:** Season 2, episode 6, _It's Better to Burn Out than Fae Away_. All canon up to this point. This starts out right before the kiss that led to the steamy doccubus goodness. (this story gets kinda sexy, but it's not a smutfic - sorry :-P) Dialogue from the show owned by Showcase/Prodigy is in bold italics. Pleases review! :-) And Happy New Year everybody! :-)

**A/N:** Oops! I just re-watched the original scene, and I forgot to account for the fact that Kenzi is supposed to be passed out on the couch! LOL. So in that regard, this is slightly "AU" because Kenzi is definitely NOT on the couch. Boy would that have been awkward… ;-)

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><p>.<p>

**Bo: ****_I will not let anything happen to you._**

**Lauren: ****_I know that you'll try. But tomorrow I'll be gone. Maybe forever._**

**(They lean in toward each other, but then Lauren stops and pulls back before they can kiss.)**

**Lauren: ****_I need to know this isn't about you getting over Dyson._**

**Bo: ****_No. This is about us._**

"Us? You want to be an 'us?' As in, not just sex?"

Bo looked at Lauren in confusion. She couldn't tell if Lauren's tone of voice was from alarm or hopefulness. Bo thought that by now Lauren should have noticed how much Bo had been pining for her, since it had been becoming harder and harder to hide.

"Of course, Lauren…don't you?" Bo asked timidly.

"Oh, god yes!" Lauren pounced on Bo and pulled her in for a desperately greedy kiss that almost brought them both to their knees. Lauren was nearly blind with lust, but just as Bo began maneuvering them toward the stairs, Lauren stopped in her tracks.

"Wait, wait…oh god, I can't…I-I can't do this to you again." Lauren covered her face and stepped back as she was overwhelmed by a mixture of regret, shame, and sexual frustration.

"What? What's wrong? I thought you wanted this?" Bo couldn't hide the panic in her voice.

"I do! I want it so bad it's suffocating me! But we can't do it like this."

"Like what?"

Lauren looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath, then resolutely stared Bo in the eye. "Bo, do you have _any_ idea how long I've been in love with you?"

Bo raised her eyebrows in shock and stammered, "I…you…uh…" _Holy shit._

"The first time we had sex I was already hopelessly in love with you. I made mad, passionate love to you and it was incredible. I…I was _beyond_ happy! And then I ruined it, ruined _us_ because I lied by omission. It's been a _year_, Bo – and sometimes the regret, the longing, all of the stupidly wasted time... it can be so unbearable, and –"

Bo interrupted Lauren with an insistent kiss, holding her tightly until her body tension started to release. "Lauren, there were so many times afterwards when I saw how you looked at me, that I knew there had to be so much more there than lust, but I let my pride get in the way and I was afraid of getting hurt again. I was a stubborn ass and I should have let you have that talk sooner. But I've never stopped wanting you, Lauren. But I'll be honest…I wouldn't _let_ myself call it love, because it was just too painful to deal with, knowing that I had lost you before we even had a chance. And I'm still scared, but now I can't just walk away without trying. So please, baby, what's stopping you now?"

Lauren closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Bo's. "Bo, I've been hiding something from you, because I'm a coward. And I think you're on the brink of finding out because obviously The Morrigan knows something, though I don't know how." With fear in her eyes, she pulled back to look at Bo. "I have to tell you before you hear it from her, even though I'm afraid you might not want me anymore. But I just can't let you jump into bed with me and then let the bomb fall on you later. It would be the same kind of cruel betrayal that derailed us in the first place. And if it's inevitable that you won't want me after you find out, it's not right for me to take advantage of the situation now and have sex before you can reject me, no matter how desperate I am to make love with you. I'm terrified of losing you again, Bo – but I can't deceive you – not again."

Bo unwrapped her arms from around Lauren and stared at the floor. "Lauren…" She looked back up at the woman she had fallen for so long ago, unable to hide the vulnerability on her face. "Is this secret going to break my heart again?" She asked in a wounded voice.

Lauren tenderly caressed Bo's cheek. "Honestly Bo, I'm not sure. I hope not, but I think it's going to be up to you, really."

"I guess we should sit down then." Bo said with a sigh of resignation.

After sitting on the couch staring silently at each other for a good two minutes, Bo finally rolled her eyes and gave Lauren an affectionate nudge. "Lauren, this is the kind of conversation where _you_ have to talk first."

"I have a girlfriend." Lauren blurted.

Bo recoiled as if she had been slapped. "What, are you shitting me? What the hell, Lauren?" Instantly crushed and furious, Bo didn't need to hear anymore and jumped up from the couch to leave. But with an eerie since of déjà vu, Lauren managed to grab Bo's wrist before she got away.

"Wait! That didn't come out right. _Technically_ I have a girlfriend, but she –"

"Oh right, that sounds so much better. Technically? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Technically, in that there's never been an opportunity to officially end our relationship because she's been in a coma for five years!" Lauren frantically rattled off her explanation so fast that it took a moment for Bo to decipher what she said.

"Oh." Bo's fury instantly deflated, leaving her somewhere between relieved and confused. _Shit._ "Is she brain dead?" Bo cringed as she heard how callous she sounded. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so blunt."

"It's ok. It's a valid question. Tests indicate she isn't brain dead, but she is on life support. I've been trying to find a cure for five years, but I've failed miserably."

Bo finally returned to sitting on the couch. "So, um, what happened to her? And what does it have to do with The Morrigan and your enslavement to the Light?"

"I actually have no idea how The Morrigan knows anything. It doesn't have anything to do with her. Nadia caught a Fae disease when she accompanied me to the Congo five years ago. I was there on a research grant. While we were there we found out that a local village had been struck by a mysterious, virulent disease, so I dropped everything and went to help. It wasn't long till I discovered that they weren't actually human."

"So that's how you met the Fae."

"Right. They were actually somewhat horrified that they had been discovered by a human, but they were too desperate to refuse my help. By some miracle I finally came up with a cure that saved the remaining survivors, although sadly they had lost over half of their village to the disease. And Nadia caught it too, though obviously she didn't die. Interestingly, since I was the one who had direct contact with the sick, I ran regular tests and screenings on myself and I was clearly immune and it appeared that my humanity was the reason. But not so for Nadia. Anyway, the Ash made me an offer. He would give me access to all his resources in order to find a cure for her, in exchange for my servitude to the Light."

"Oh my god Lauren, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it's been for you. But…after five years, do you really think she still has a chance to wake up? Do people even wake up from comas that long?"

"I'll admit it is relatively rare. But she shows no sign of brain damage even though her brain is obviously unable to communicate with her lungs. As her girlfriend and her doctor, I feel completely responsible for what happened to her. After five long years of enslavement there have been plenty of times where I questioned if I was going to be able to give up my freedom indefinitely to chase after a futile goal. But I would sometimes have these terrible nightmares that she was in there, fully conscious and aware, trapped in her body, going mad – even though there's no scientific basis to believe that – but then I would feel so horribly guilty for even _thinking_ about abandoning her! So I would steel my resolve again and redouble my commitment to her. I just can't give up on her, Bo. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

"You've made an unimaginable sacrifice, Lauren. You must love her very deeply." Bo said quietly. She was in awe of Lauren's passionate loyalty and determination, but the chill was starting to settle in her chest as she realized she would never truly have Lauren's heart, whether Nadia woke up or not.

"I do. But if I'm honest with myself, the hard truth is that if Nadia wakes up, I can't love her the way she deserves to be loved."

"What do you mean?"

"I care deeply for her. I want her to have her life back, I want her to be happy, and I don't want her to be alone. But five years is a long time. For five years we haven't been able to function like girlfriends. Our relationship has been redefined as caregiver and patient. And I'm also a different person now, after all that I've lived through. We can't ever have what we had before."

"I can understand that. But isn't that sort of hypothetical right now? Do you really think you'll still feel the same way if you were to see her wake up – alive, well and in love with you?"

"That's a good question, one that you have every right to ask. What actually scares me is that if I come face to face with her, my emotions will cloud my judgment. Despite the fact that I've had less than thirty minutes to seriously consider that she could wake up soon, right now I can be more objective than I would be if Nadia were standing right in front of me. I know that if I were to go back to her, it would be a love based on guilt and loyalty, not passion and joy. And even though I would do it because I couldn't bear to break her heart after she's already lost so much, I know that in the long run it wouldn't be fair to her."

"Or to you."

Lauren reached over and grasped Bo's hand tightly. "Or you either, Bo. Because you're the one that I want, even though I know there are inherent obstacles for you to be with a human. I don't know if that means we're doomed and destined for heartbreak – I know others would think so. But I know what my heart wants. I want you. I'm sorry if that's too overwhelming or too soon for you to hear, but it's the honest truth."

Lauren stared hopefully into Bo's eyes, looking for signs that she had changed her mind about pursuing a relationship. At first Bo was completely unreadable, then Lauren finally saw the spark in her eye as her mouth slowly curved up into a coy grin. Lauren held her breath as she watched Bo lean into her slowly until she gently captured Lauren's lips in an aching kiss. Unlike their earlier frantic kisses, Bo kissed Lauren as languidly and deliberately as possible, savoring every surface of her mouth as if it were a fine wine. Lauren Lewis was the only person that Bo had ever kissed this slowly, and it still stoked a raging fire within the love struck succubus, just like that first night a year ago.

Lauren was ready to completely succumb to her passions, but there was still more she needed to say before she could let herself melt into a boneless puddle of desire. "Bo…"

"Yes, baby?" Bo cooed as she gently nuzzled Lauren's neck.

"I don't see how a sadistic supernatural talent agent like The Morrigan can possibly know anything about curing a mysterious disease that I practically wrote the book on. But if she really does know something useful and Nadia wakes up, breaking up with her will be one of the hardest things I will ever do. And I'll need you to help me be strong and do the right thing. And if the guilt, the fear of hurting her, and all my other confusing emotions overwhelm me into being a coward, will you fight for me, until I come to my senses? Will you fight for us?"

Bo placed another lingering sensual kiss on Laurens lips. "If that is what you really want, then nothing will stop me."

Lauren cradled Bo's face in her hands and showered her with butterfly kisses. "Bo…I needed to tell you about Nadia because she was the one secret I had that could make you distrust my feelings, just like what happened when I let the Ash's political agenda come between us. I couldn't let something like that drive us apart again. But there's still a lot in my past you don't know about. I have many regrets I'm not proud of, painful secrets that I'm not prepared to talk about yet, and I have no idea when I will be… Is that something you can live with for now?"

"Lauren, how could I ever judge you for your past? Hello – ten years of being a serial killer here! I would be the world's biggest hypocrite. I hope someday you can feel safe enough to tell me, but it's more important to me that I know who you _are_, not necessarily what you've _done_. The past is the past." Bo gently caressed Lauren's lips with her own, giving her a kiss of reassuring tenderness rather than sexual intent. After a few moments she took a break for air and softly nuzzled Lauren's cheek and sighed. "I can live with you having secrets, but…um..."

"What is it?"

Bo looked at Lauren contritely. "Can you live with me not being sexually monogamous?"

Lauren smiled and affectionately stroked Bo's hair. "Bo, I fully accept you, and that you have biological needs I can't fulfill. I know what I'm getting into, but I won't lie, it will be hard for me. But I love you too much for it to be a deal-breaker."

"I'm sorry, baby. I mean, I would if I could, but –"

"I know sweetie…um, maybe there's something you could consider doing for me?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you just not have sex with any friends or close colleagues – well, or anyone that you see on a regular basis? If you just feed and heal from random strangers, and maybe no more than once or twice with the same person, that would go a long way in helping me cope, to help me stay reassured that your heart is mine, even if your body isn't. Could you think about that for me, please?"

Bo grinned seductively and started kissing up Lauren's neck while guiding her to lie back on the couch. Bo reclined on top of her and whispered breathily in her ear, "No need to. Consider it done." Bo resumed covering Lauren's neck, throat, and jaw with wet, open mouth kisses, causing her to pant and mewl as she clutched at Bo's back and ass.

Bo's kisses were making Lauren delirious as she felt her toes curl in her shoes. "Oh god…how do you do this to me? _Ohhhhhhh_… uh, Bo?" She rasped out between gasps.

"Mmm?"

"Are…are we girlfriends?" Lauren squeaked.

Bo snickered devilishly and licked all the way from Lauren's collarbone to her ear. "Yes baby. And I love you." Bo smoothed her hand over Lauren's breast and gently massaged it through her shirt causing her girlfriend to groan and involuntarily jerk her hips.

"Oh god…bed! No more processing! No more talk! Bed now!" She gasped sharply when she felt Bo's knee press between her thighs. "Oh _fuck_! Bo, I love you, but you need to get me upstairs while I still have the use of my legs!"

Bo laughed gleefully and hopped off the couch. "Never fear, love. I got it all under control." Lauren shrieked in aroused delight as Bo scooped her up off the couch and carried her upstairs. As Bo reverently laid Lauren down on the bed she wasted no energy worrying about her girlfriend's departure in the morning. Of course, it would be an aggravating setback for a while, but as Bo's eyes shifted to blue as she gazed down at her love, she was filled with a passionate new resolve. _The Ash-hole doesn't stand a chance._

FIN


	11. Down, Boy!

**A/N:** Wow, it's your lucky day, loyal readers! 2 stories in 3 days! Wooh-hoo! Had a bit of a dry spell a while back, now my muse is working overtime. Ok, so I hacked a scene, but it's not a doccubus scene…but ultimately it's a scene about doccubus! Just read, you'll see what I mean. :-P

Reader reviews feed my muse! :-D

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><p>.<p>

**Down, Boy!**

.

**Setup:** Season 3, episode 4, _Fae-de to Black_. After being injured at the parking garage, Dyson tells Bo she needs to "refuel," to which she replies she is "working on it." She goes to Lauren for some sexy fun, but she doesn't fully heal. When she visits Dyson and Tamsin at the precinct later, Bo is in bad shape and Dyson discovers she is critically injured. All canon up to this point. Here's an alternate version of how it could have been handled. Dialogue from the show (owned by Showcase/Prodigy) is in bold italics.

.

**D:****_ Can I talk to you a minute? Privately?_**

**B:****_ What's going on?_**

**D:****_ You tell me._**

**B:****_ Dyson I really don't have the energy to play mind-reader with you right now – ahh!_**

**D:****_ Bo – _****[he touches her side]**

**B:****_ AHH! _****[he reaches for hem of her shirt and pulls it up]****_ "Don't…"_**

**D:****_ Wait! Please…Bo you're bleeding._**

**B:****_ It's just a bruise._**

**D:****_ Internally! This is serious!_**

**B:****_ I'm fine!_**

**D:****_ You could die!_** "Why didn't you feed earlier? I told you to go refuel!"

"I did!" With a fresh wave of pain, Bo felt the room tilt. With a sharp gasp, she clutched at the table to keep from falling over. Bo's head swam with each new throb to her side and she blinked repeatedly trying to get her eyes to focus again.

"So who fed you? Lauren? Or a teenage Peri?"

"Screw you, Dyson!" Bo snapped through gritted teeth.

"Yes Bo, exactly!" Dyson huffed sarcastically, but his growing alarm quickly changed his tone. "Please, come on Bo, you need to let me heal you!" He demanded anxiously, while unbuckling his belt.

"No – I can't." Bo swatted his hands away from his belt buckle, so instead he cupped her face in his hands to pull her in for a kiss. "Stop it…" She protested faintly, her eyes beginning to roll up into her head as it became more difficult to hang on to consciousness. Just as his lips were about to touch hers, Bo's eyes flashed an angry blue as she bolted up and pushed his face away forcefully. "I. Am. Monogamous. Dammit!" She ground out between loud, shallow breaths.

"Do you really think she would want you to **bleed to death** just to save her feelings?" He cried frantically. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her fiercely. "Please! There's no time to waste! There are no strings here, I promise!"

"Get…get me…" The room became fuzzier and fuzzier as Bo panted and struggled for words.

"What?"

"Get me someone else!" Bo's eyes flashed angrily again, but her vision remained unfocused and disorienting.

"Are you serious?"

"Not you…" She protested breathily. She started to slump over but she braced her arm against the table. She looked up at Dyson slowly as she continued to pant. She groaned as another bolt of pain threatened to topple her, but she just tightened her fists and growled at Dyson resolutely. "It can't be **_YOU_**! I **won't** do that to her!"

"Fine! But the only other Fae here is Tamsin!"

"Then bring me…bring me some hu –" Bo's voice trailed off as her knees suddenly buckled. Dyson lunged to catch her, then lifted her up onto the table. He held her upright as he shook her and patted her face.

"Bo, Bo, BO! No, no, nononono stay awake! You have to stay conscious! Bo there's no time – stay with me! I need to heal you NOW!"

Just as it appeared that Bo had slipped into unconsciousness, her hand shot out and grabbed Dyson's chin, holding his mouth open forcefully. Dyson's eyes opened wide in shock as the angry succubus sucked out wave after wave of ethereal, life-giving chi from his mouth. But before she took enough to make him woozy, Bo stopped feeding and released him. She continued to pant weakly, but the pain was less blinding and she felt fully conscious and alert.

"There…I've bought… some time. Now… bring me someone else!"

"But –"

"**GO!**"

Dyson turned in resignation and walked back through the interrogation room and out into the main floor of the precinct. Bo slowly reclined on the top of the table to give her a few moments rest without having to concentrate on keeping herself upright. Within a few minutes Bo heard voices coming from the interrogation room.

"Sure, what can we help you with detective?"

"Just need help with a special assignment. It won't take long."

Bo looked up and saw Dyson and two uniformed officers approaching the door to the observation room. With a determined grunt, Bo sat up to greet her new conquests. She smiled valiantly as she swallowed down the huge lump in her throat that had been growing while she had lain there coming to terms with throwing away nearly a month of hard-earned monogamy.

"Uh, miss, you shouldn't be in…oh, are you alright?"

"Guys, I uh, want you to meet a friend of mine…"

Before Dyson could say anything more, Bo reached out and grasped both officers' hands and pulsed them several times with glowing, orange bursts of enthralling energy, causing them to dreamily stare at her with rapt attention, ready to do her bidding. "Hi, I'm Bo."

Bo turned to look at Dyson, who was hovering by the door staring at his feet. "Thanks Dyson. Go wait outside and guard the door."

Dyson awkwardly looked back up and nodded his head silently. He slouched out of the observation room and closed the door behind him. He paused for moment, but as soon as he heard the first telltale sounds of a succubus feeding, he briskly crossed the interrogation room to the exit, locking the door on his way out.

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><p>Bo sighed wearily as she re-tied her wrap-around top back into place and zipped up her pants. She hadn't felt this shitty after sex since her killing days. Since her two police feeds were human, she wasn't a hundred percent healed, leaving her tired and sore; but the black cloud of dread and guilt that hung over her head was far more upsetting than her aches and pains.<p>

"Hey boys, before you go…" She approached the two policemen that were finishing getting dressed in the corner. As they were securing their belts and holsters into place, she raised her hands up to their faces and pulsed more energy into them as she cupped their cheeks. "I really appreciate your help, but you have no idea who I am and once you walk out that door you won't remember ever meeting me. You've actually been in the break room drinking coffee this whole time. And you haven't seen or talked to Detective Thornwood either. It's been a really boring day, ok guys? Now get back to work!"

The two enthralled officers nodded and murmured in the affirmative, then Bo patted them on the back and pushed them toward the door. She watched as they walked across the interrogation room in a daze, and when they opened the door she saw Dyson standing out in the hallway.

"Dyson will you come back in here, please."

Dyson pushed past the exiting officers and hurried across the interrogation room. "Do you need more? I wasn't sure two humans would be enough but I didn't want to call too much attention by bringing in a bunch at once."

"No I'm fine for now. I'll get a top-off later. Come back in here and sit down for a minute."

He followed her back into the observation room and took a seat across the table from her. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Look, I want to thank you for helping me out. I really needed you and you came through for me. But I need to make some things clear. I'm fully aware that Lauren and I have some serious talking to do about my feeding needs. So yes, I've received the reality check and I will deal with it. Lauren and I will deal with this, and we will figure this out in a way that's best for us. I don't know what that will look like yet, but there has to be a line somewhere. And I'm drawing that line now so she doesn't have to. We are never having sex again, Dyson."

"Bo –"

"Please, let me finish. I know it was an emergency. I know you were fearful for my life and you had the best of intentions. But it doesn't matter if you say no strings attached. And it doesn't matter if I can compartmentalize it in my head, and feel nothing, and be just as much or more in love with Lauren after it's over. It doesn't matter what would go on inside our heads if you were to heal me. What matters is that it would **hurt** **her**. Deeply. Lauren already has enough compromises to make in order to be with me, Dyson. And I'll be damned if I force her to make another one.

"Bo, there will always be unforeseen emergencies. It's naïve to think you can plan ahead to avoid them. And you can't expect me to sit around and watch you suffer and die just because you want to be noble for your girlfriend."

"This isn't some false nobility trip, it's about having deep respect for the woman I love! False nobility is appointing yourself the designated royal penis hero instead of just helping a friend get hooked up with a chi supply that doesn't come with emotional baggage!"

Dyson gaped at her in horror, looking as wounded and betrayed as if she had just kicked him in the groin – _and_ spat on him.

"Shit. Dyson, I'm sorry – that was a really fucked up thing to say." She buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath. "I'm…I guess I'm just still really stressed out." Bo rubbed her temples briefly and then reached across the table to take Dyson's hand. "You have always had my back, always been there when I needed you. I didn't mean to belittle the sacrifices you've made for me and I know that your willingness to let me feed from you is far more than just lust. And you've never done anything to stand between Lauren and I since we made our relationship official. So I'm sorry if it sounded like I was suggesting that. I've always been able to count on you and it means the world to me."

Dyson looked down at their clasped hands, inhaled deeply, and then nodded in understanding. "Thanks Bo, I appreciate that." He said quietly, then gave Bo's hand a final squeeze before releasing it.

"I'm just trying to say that the way you offer support to me – as a friend – has to be different now that I am in a committed relationship. And no, that doesn't mean I expect you to do nothing and watch me die if I get in trouble. As long as you are physically capable of healing me, then you are also physically capable of going out and finding someone else to bring back for me to feed on. And I am willing to accept any chi you offer me but there will be no sex and there will be no kissing. If you really care about me, Dyson, if you really care about my health AND my happiness, then the next time there's a healing emergency you'll do whatever you can to help me get the chi that I need – and I will be most grateful – but you will never pressure me to have sex with you again. I don't care if I'm mortally wounded and we're trapped in an elevator or shipwrecked on an island. If sex is absolutely necessary to generate maximum chi – then I'll take your chi after you and your hand have some quality alone time, but I'm not letting you touch me. We have a past, Dyson, so there's just no such thing as no strings attached. Do we have an understanding?

Dyson sat back in his chair and stared down at his lap for a long awkward pause. "Understood."

"Good." Bo stood up to leave, but Dyson remained still and silent. "Thank you for being there for me today, Dyson. You were just what I needed." Dyson nodded in acknowledgement, but made no eye contact. Bo decided it was best to quietly leave him alone with his thoughts, so she turned and headed for the exit.

"I'll always have your back, Bo. Count on it."

Bo paused at the door and smiled. "Likewise, Dyson. Always." Without looking back, Bo exited the interrogation room and made a beeline for the Light Fae compound.

Twenty-five minutes of rush-hour traffic later, Bo knocked on Lauren's apartment door.

"Oh hey, baby! Come on in…" Lauren quickly ushered her girlfriend inside. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon. Any new developments with the –"

Before Lauren could close the door or finish her sentence, Bo enveloped her in an urgent embrace, kissing deeply and desperately. After a few moments, Bo forced herself to pull back before their passions overwhelmed them. Keeping her watery eyes closed, she gently rested her forehead against Lauren's while they continued to hold each other and catch their breath.

"Baby, we need to talk."

FIN

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><p><strong>AN2:** In case you haven't seen it, _LGFaenatics_ has sponsored another doccubus one-shot fic challenge and they just posted a collection of 14 fics by 14 authors under the title **_Massage Envy_**. The challenge prompt was for Bo or Lauren to give the other a massage. The stories are various ratings and genres but they all have a doccubus massage. :-) The authors are competing for a prize, so try to go over and read them all and vote for your top 3 favorites. Vote on _LGFAenatics_' profile page after you've read the stories. The poll is open until Thurs Jan 8. Happy reading :-)


	12. Crossroads

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**Crossroads**

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**Setup:** Season 2, Episode 10, _Raging Fae_. Bo's past has caught up with her and the family of the first boy she killed is looking for her. She becomes overcome with guilt and while she's undercover with a case, she allows herself to be severely beaten as a way of punishing herself. Bo refuses to let Dyson heal her. Dyson brings Bo back to his place where Lauren is waiting to treat her injuries. Bo and Lauren are sitting on Dyson's bed as Lauren tends to Bo's wounds. 100% canon up to this point. Dialogue from the show (owned by Showcase/Prodigy) is in bold italics.

**Reader reviews feed my muse! Tell me what you think! :-)**

.

**L: ****_I heard about your encounter with your past._**

**B: ****_Great, does everybody know now?_**

**L: ****_No, just the people that care about you._**

**B: ****_It is not just my past, it's my present. For a long time, I've forgotten what I am to humans – a monster._**

**L: ****_Bo you're not a monster. I know that. And whatever happened back then it wasn't your fault!_**

**B: ****_I KILLED a boy! And then what, then what, I ran away. I ran away. I didn't take responsibility for what I did. And his poor family – I never gave them closure!_**

"And how exactly could you have done that, Bo?" Lauren interrupted sharply, hoping to grab Bo's attention before she completely dissolved into hysterical sobs. Slightly startled, Bo stopped her self-loathing rant and just stared at Lauren as tears silently dripped down her cheeks.

Lauren immediately softened her tone as she gazed into Bo's watery eyes. "So, what – go to the police and confess? Sweetie, they wouldn't even be able to determine the cause of death. Even if they believed you were guilty and you were sent to prison for life, you wouldn't have found the Fae, and you wouldn't have gotten help to control your feeding – so the bodies would still pile up."

Bo looked down at the floor, as her lip and chin started to tremble.

"And if that didn't tip them off, you'd inevitably give yourself away by not aging. Then at best you become a lab rat for the rest of your days and at worst you expose the Fae, which could eventually lead to a war."

Lauren reached out and gently lifted Bo's chin so she could make eye contact again. "No real justice is served by punishing you for something that was beyond your control."

Exasperated, Bo flinched away from Lauren's hand. "Alright, alright! I get it! My hands are tied! Nothing I can do! It's all pointless so let's just chalk it up to 'shit happens' and go on our merry way!"

"Bo, your power to control your own actions was unfairly taken away from you. You're not guilty any more than you would be if Vex made you do it!"

"So maybe I couldn't help it. Big deal, the results are the same. Why should _I_ have the right to exist if so many people had to die in order for me to live?" Bo snorted bitterly and angrily tossed the ice pack on the bed. "Maybe I _should_ go to prison and be a troublemaker so I can be put in solitary and starve."

Lauren sighed melodramatically. "Well that's an inefficient way to kill yourself. And much too easy, you'd be unconscious during the worst of it. For maximum pain I suggest you be flogged and then drawn and quartered." Lauren deadpanned.

Bo gaped appallingly at Lauren's amused expression as if she had sprouted an extra head.

Lauren picked up the ice pack and gently held it to Bo's jaw. "Bo, you don't really think you should die – you just want to be punished and made to suffer, because you think that's the only way to balance the scale. Because your life isn't worth enough, right?"

Bo grabbed the ice pack out of Lauren's hand to get it away from her face. "My god of course it isn't! How can you possibly compare the value of my life to the lives of hundreds of my victims!"

"It's not such a simple equation as that Bo." Bo looked away and rolled her eyes, subtly shaking her head at what she thought was a lame copout.

"Alright, fine…" Lauren grasped Bo's hand that held the ice and lifted it to her swollen jaw again, not letting go until she was sure that Bo was willing to hold it in place. "Let's say for the sake of argument that your right to exist is determined by this great cosmic scorecard. Bo, you are nearly immortal. Think of all the people you will help – the people you might _save_ in such a long lifetime. Ten years is less than a blink of an eye for you. And I have no doubt that you will do an immeasurable amount of good in your lifetime, because that is your _true_ nature – you are compassionate, selfless, brave and protective, and you are driven to help people who have nowhere else to turn. It's just so sadly ironic that your compassion is what's causing you so much pain right now. Bo, you can't possibly be a monster because you care too much. A real monster wouldn't give a damn."

Bo could feel Lauren's kind, passionate words pierce through her armor of anger and regret; it was so tempting to just give in and let Lauren soothe her heart, but her refusal to forgive herself just tightened its grip. "So I'm just supposed to forget about it, let it go like it doesn't matter – because ten years is _insignificant_ to a Fae?" Bo harshly accused.

"I didn't say forget about it, but it's ok to let yourself move on! Drowning in self-hatred is a pointless, _empty_ gesture. The most _meaningful_ thing you can do is to keep striving to be the person you want to be – and consider yourself lucky that you have a lot longer to get it right compared to most people. You were given a fresh start, Bo – please don't waste it on self-flagellation."

"But all those senseless deaths…I don't know how to…" More tears overflowed onto Bo's cheeks as she gasped and sniffled. "Why doesn't the innocent blood on my hands horrify you, Lauren?!" Bo blurted, as if demanding Lauren to condemn her. "How is it so easy for you to forgive? How do you see past the mountains of body bags I've left in my wake? How can you –"

**L: ****_You're a different person than you were then and the person you are now I absolutely love! [Bo looks stunned, snaps out of her rant]…I didn't mean that –" [sighing] I don't know what I mean…_**

**B: ****_Forget it. I know you're all mixed up over Nadia._**

**L: ****_I don't even know what I'm even feeling these days._**

**B: ****_How's that going?_**

Lauren looked at the ceiling and forcefully exhaled an exasperated breath. "Confusing as hell." With a vulnerable smile, Lauren bravely looked Bo in the eye. "No, that's not entirely true. I know _exactly_ what I'm feeling, there's no confusion there. I just don't know what to _do_ about it. I'm feeling different things for two different people – things that I shouldn't be feeling at the same time. I don't know how to reconcile them, but I do know how I feel."

Lauren grabbed a piece of gauze from the first aid kit and began to gently wipe away the blood that had leaked from Bo's nostrils. Bo remained quiet, sensing that Lauren had more to say. As she continued to attend to Bo's face, Lauren finally broke the silence. "I still don't know what the future will bring if Nadia wakes up, so I haven't said anything because I didn't want to risk hurting you later."

Lauren's eyes grew watery as she discarded the gauze and shrugged in defeat. "But I let it slip and I just can't deny it anymore." She sniffled a couple times and finally looked directly at Bo again. "I do love you Bo, so much," she declared with conviction, "I absolutely love you. And it tears me up that you can't see yourself the way I do."

Bo's glassy eyes stared at Lauren in wonder. Her raging disgust for herself clashed violently with Lauren's declaration of love, leaving her emotionally disoriented. Bo wanted to return the loving sentiments, but she too was afraid of it leading to more pain later; and at the moment her own self-concept was being challenged and that was confusing enough to process. Bo sniffled and took several ragged breaths. She closed her eyes to collect herself, causing her eyelids to press out a new wave of brimming tears that had pooled inside her red-rimmed eyes.

"I've never been able to figure out how you have been so sure about what you see in me. Before you even knew me very well, you seemed to see something I couldn't."

Lauren smiled tenderly and gently stroked Bo's hair. "Then trust me to be your eyes, until yours heal enough to see it for yourself." Lauren's loving kindness left Bo speechless, so she just closed her eyes again and focused on Lauren's affectionate touch. Lauren leaned in and placed a feather-light kiss on Bo's forehead, and then she picked up a new piece of gauze and carefully blotted the tears around Bo's eyes and down her cheeks, taking care not to irritate her cuts and bruises.

"But in the meantime, Bo… there's something I need to ask of you. It's just a little thing, but it would mean the world to me."

"Of course, what is it?" Bo asked curiously, as she opened her eyes and focused them once again on Lauren.

"Just let me love you, Bo. Please, let me give you some of my chi. It won't be much, but I can at least heal these superficial cuts on your face."

"Lauren, I can't do that to you." Bo protested softly.

"You wouldn't be doing anything _to_ me, Bo. There's nothing predatory about this. You aren't _taking_, I'm _giving_. And it would mean so much to me if you accept my gift. It's an intimacy I've wanted to share with you for quite a long time now."

"Seriously? But why?"

"Because I love _all_ of you, Bo – including the succubus." It took a moment to fully process Lauren's answer, but once she did, Bo was quietly awe-struck.

"Besides, I also have a selfish ulterior motive – the sooner I can heal that split lip, the sooner I can kiss you properly!" Lauren smirked as Bo chuckled softly and blushed. "Please, Bo."

After a few moments, Bo shyly nodded her head. She leaned forward and held Lauren's face in her hands. "Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely." Lauren said breathlessly. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth slightly, keeping her lips and jaw relaxed. She felt Bo's lips lightly graze her own and then they pulled away as an oddly pleasant tugging sensation grew from her chest. The sensation quickly became euphoric as it spread through her body, until finally she was pulsing with arousal. Bo stopped the flow of chi and Lauren almost drunkenly fell over into Bo's lap, but thanks to Bo's fast reflexes, she grabbed Lauren's shoulders to keep her upright.

Lauren erupted into a fit of giggles. "Holy shit, what a rush!"

"Are you ok? Did I take too much? Do you feel like you're going to pass out?" Bo asked frantically, growing more paranoid with every second.

"Oh, baby I'm fine! A little loopy, but in a good way. No worries, sweetie. So how do _you_ feel?"

"My face feels normal now, but the rest of me still feels like I was run over by a truck."

Lauren sighed heavily. "Yeah, I'm afraid those ribs are going to require more chi than what I have at my disposal right now."

"Don't worry about it, I'll handle it eventually. So check out my face. Take a look at your handiwork."

Lauren lit up like a kid on Christmas as she inspected Bo's face. She picked up the damp cloth that was wrapped around the ice and began wiping away the dried blood, revealing flawless glowing skin underneath. "There's my girl." Lauren just couldn't contain her excitement. "Oh my god, Bo!" Lauren laughed gleefully. "I actually did that! My chi _did that_! Oh, Bo…" Lauren stroked her hands all over Bo's grinning face. "My god, you're beautiful!"

Despite the little voice in her head warning her that it would make things more complicated, Bo instinctively pulled Lauren into a greedy kiss. Lauren moaned as her eager tongue explored Bo's mouth, luxuriously sliding her tongue all over Bo's and nipping and caressing her lips. Now that she had stopped worrying about how much chi she took, Bo settled into the kiss and basked in the erotic high that Lauren's chi had given her. Lauren had been right; feeding from her was intensely intimate, something Bo had never felt when feeding from anyone else.

Bo pulled back to catch her breath, and the unbearable beauty of her emotions just spilled out before she could censor herself. "I love you."

"Oh, Bo…I love you too, so much." Bo smiled demurely as she looked at Lauren's beaming grin and affectionately stroked an errant lock of hair and tucked it behind Lauren's ear.

"I didn't want to make things more confusing for you, but you have the right to know." Bo said sheepishly.

"You're right, it does muddy the water, but it means the world to me that you told me."

"Lauren, when Nadia wakes up – and she will wake up, because we will not stop until she's freed from that living hell – when Nadia wakes up and you need to make a choice, there's something I want you to keep in mind." Bo swallowed audibly as she tried to relax the huge lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.

"Nadia and I both love you, so no matter who you choose, someone is going to get hurt." Bo's voice cracked as she felt the mild sting of new tears starting to pool in her eyes. "So please, don't let the hurt be in vain – it's crucial that you listen to your own heart and do what makes _you_ happy." Bo paused to sniffle a few times; Lauren lovingly stroked Bo's face while she tried to hold back her own tears.

"Don't even consider our feelings, Lauren. Don't think about who needs you more, or who will get hurt the least or anything that has to do with Nadia and me. This needs to be a completely _selfish_ decision."

Bo took a few rapid, deep breaths as she fought to keep her composure. "After five years of subjugation, you haven't had a lot of practice making choices about your own needs, everything you do has been in service to others. So please, make sure you make your choice for the _right_ reasons."

The tears finally overflowed and silently poured down Bo's cheeks, but she continued to hold Lauren in a steady gaze. "Consider yourself and no one else, ok?"

Lauren cradled Bo's face in her hands and kissed her softly. After nearly a minute, Lauren pulled back gently, keeping her leaking eyes closed. Her brow furrowed and her throat tightened, but finally she replied in a trembling whisper, "Ok."

FIN

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><p><strong>AN:** Hi everybody, I just wanted to let you know that I just posted a new story called _New Again_; it's separate from this collection. It is a re-posting of a story I wrote for LGFaenatics fan fic challenge. You can find the rest of the stories from the challenge on LGFaenatics profile page under the title _Massage Envy_. I've made few minor revisions that I didn't have time to do before submitting the story, so the version I'm re-posting under my account will have a few small differences. If anyone out there has already read it and voted for my story, thank you so much for your support! _New Again_ was the top ranking story in the challenge and it was an honor to get such warm fuzzy love from my readers! :-D Thanks again for reading! :-)


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